


Be My Wings

by cameronn



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Bottom Draco Malfoy, Bottom Neville Longbottom, Creature Fic, Creature Harry Potter, Creature Inheritance, Fluff, Good Draco Malfoy, Hogwarts Eighth Year, M/M, Post-Battle of Hogwarts, Top Blaise Zabini, Top Harry Potter, Veela Draco Malfoy, Werewolf Harry, Werewolf Harry Potter
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-24
Updated: 2020-08-24
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:02:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 26
Words: 46,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26082385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cameronn/pseuds/cameronn
Summary: Harry Potter is a dominant werewolf. Draco Malfoy is a submissive Veela.Set in eighth year.
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, Neville Longbottom/Blaise Zabini, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 16
Kudos: 302





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone! Welcome to Be My Wings! I originally started publishing this over on Wattpad, but I decided to put it up on here as well! I'm going to quickly upload all the chapters I've already posted, and after that I'll try and upload about once a week.  
> Just in case this isn't clear - everything in italics is stuff that Draco's Veela, Alex, says in his head, and when Draco says 'you', he's referring to Alex. Hope this makes sense!

**Friday 5 June 1998**

**Draco**

I took every single precaution I could to prepare for my inheritance, and it rather abruptly becomes apparent that there is no precaution I could have taken that would have prepared me for this.

I thought I had felt pain before. I thought that with the Dark Lord living in my house and torturing me and my family on the daily, I would have understood what pain felt like. I was wrong.

This feels, very literally, like I have burst into flames. As if my blood has turned to lava flowing through my veins, melting my skin like candle wax. Every breath I take feels as though I'm inhaling acid which is corroding my lungs until there is a gaping hole in the centre of my chest. This feels like a hundred scalding hot knives are being thoroughly acquainted with my back, slicing through the skin so much there won't be any left.

This is pain.

But, to be quite honest, this is worth it. Because after this short period of agony- because what is half an hour, really, in the grand scheme of things?- I will be a real Veela. Not the enchantresses that most wizards consider Veela to be (they're not wrong, just ignoring the fact there are three Veela species), not our close half-bird relatives, but a Royal Veela, which is, in my (completely not biased, you shut up) opinion, the best kind.

I'll meet my Veela half, my brother, my best friend, for the first time. I'll have the body I was born to have, with wings and talons and scent glands. I'll have power; as a dominant, I'll finally feel in control, strong. But, most of all, best of all, I'll find my mate.

For these things, I'm willing to go through the half an hour of pain that comes with a dominant inheritance. But suddenly, inexplicably, the pain goes, leaving only darkness and quiet in its wake.

When I wake up, my vision is swimming, and my head is pounding.

_Hi! I'm Alex, I'm your Veela, oh I'm so excited to meet you! Are you alright? You were passed out for ages, longer than I was expecting. But it's okay, you're awake now! We can go out and fly around! Can I meet our family, they're here right?_

What... what is happening?

_Was I rambling? I'm sorry, I was excited, I should give you a moment, you just woke up and all..._

Um, no, no, it's okay. I shake my head, to try and clear it, but it simply makes it ache more.

"Draco?"

_Draco, is that your name? Oh, that's so cool, you know it means dragon in Latin! And it's a constellation!_

Yeah, yeah I know what my name means. I've had it for eighteen years.

_Right, of course, you do, I... I'm sorry._

It's, uh, it's fine.

"Draco?" I realise it's my mother's voice, and I'm drawn to it more than I usually am. It makes me feel warm and safe.

I manage to blink my eyes open, and immediately slam them shut again as the light almost blinds me. Daylight has never been this bright, Merlin. I try again, slowly, and am greeted by Mother sitting on the edge of my bed, smiling widely, wings flittering with excitement behind her.

_That's our mother? She's so pretty, I can't wait to meet her!_

"Mother?" I murmur, blinking up at her.

"Hi, sweetheart. How are you feeling?" She leans forward to stroke my hair, and a contented twitter flies out of my mouth. It takes me a second to realise that I made the sound. I blush, and instead of leaning into her hand like I want to, I bat her away.

"I'm okay. Groggy, and I ache a bit. Did... did I pass out?"

"You did, longer than submissives normally do, but not enough to..."

"Submissives?" I say, cutting her off, which immediately makes me feel bad for being rude, but I ignore it. Why did she compare me to a sub?

"I know you wanted to be a dom, Draco, but really it's-"

"What do you mean? I am a dom, of course I am!"

_What are you talking about, Draco?_

I expect my mother to agree with me - how could she not? - but she sighs, looking upset.

"Come with me, I'll show you what you look like." I know she's trying to distract me, and I try not to fall for it but fail miserably. I want to see what I really look like! I've been waiting to feel comfortable with what I see in the mirror for years, ever since I realised that uncomfortable feeling was a disconnect. That wasn't my body, but this is! I'll ask her what she meant afterwards.

I follow my mother into my en-suite bathroom and gape at the full body mirror. At first, I'm thrilled. This is me; this feels like me, this feels right. But then... this can't be right. Father told me that dominants grow after their inheritance, get taller, more muscled. They become harder, stronger. Handsome. I'm not handsome. I'm... pretty. You seem giddy.

_Look at us Draco! We're beautiful! Look at our eyes, they're so blue! And, oh, wouldn't our hair look so good braided? Draco, don't you think?_

I'm... short. And curvy. Delicate. Alex, we look like we would shatter if someone prodded us.

_I know!_

Why do you sound happy?

Then I understand. I must be so dominant that I don't need to look strong! I don't need to convince others of my strength, they'll notice it by my aura, by how many people I've fought and won. I can't wait to see the look on stupid Potter's face when someone shorter than him has him on his arse in two seconds flat. Maybe I would prefer to look a bit like a traditional dominant, but it won't make much of a difference. My aura will be intimidating enough.

_What are you talking about? I don't understand, Draco..._

I turn around to face my mother, who notices the smile on my face and seems to relax.

"Look, spread your wings." I try, but they're heavy as anything, so Mother helps by lifting them slightly. Once I can see them, I gape. I knew what they would look like, of course I did, having seen them on my parents my whole life, but seeing them growing out of my back, responding to my will...

They look like an angel's wings, but grey, each huge feather a different shade to make a collage of all the colours of grey, a monotone rainbow. They point downwards and are actually on the smaller side for Royal Veela, both typically submissive traits, but I assume this is for the same reason as my deceiving appearance. I run a hand through the feathers. They're silky smooth, almost as if I was running a hand through cream, but I know that at the slightest threat they'll turn knife sharp.

_They're beautiful._

"How do you feel?" Mother asks.

"Different. But a good different, I think." Now that I think about it, I don't feel like I expected to. There's something I need, something missing, something that I need before I can be happy. "I... I don't know, I feel weird. Kind of like there should be something else, something I'm missing."

"Ah. That would be your mate."

 _Mate mate mate mate mate_ , you mumble in my head, over and over.

"Mate!" The word slips out of my mouth before I can stop it, something inside me needing to feel the shape of it on my lips.

"That empty feeling is the beginning of mate-pains. Unfortunately, they'll only get worse from here on out."

_It's okay, we'll find them before they get too bad. At least I hope so, oh I can't wait to find them, can you? Someone who's perfect for us..._

"Do you think she'll be at Hogwarts?" Even though I'm eighteen, and should be finishing up my last year now, McGonagall, who has taken over as headmistress, is allowing my year to re-do our seventh year, after it was... disrupted.

"They're not necessarily a she Dray." I frown. Of course, she'll be female.

_No, they won't, why would you think that?_

"What do you mean?"

"You never know who your mate is until you meet them, you know this. And besides, it's very unlikely for a male submissive to be mated with a female dominant." Submissive? Is she calling me a sub?

"Mother, I'm not submissive."

_Draco, of course, we-_

I am not submissive! Your whimpering fills my head at my outburst, but I refuse to take it back. I have been training as a dominant Veela my entire life. Every male Malfoy has been dominant for as long as anyone can remember. Longer. If I was a submissive... I would be a disgrace. Your whimpering grows louder.

"I thought we cleared that up, sweetheart. You fainted during your inheritance, and you have all the characteristics of a sub."

"There are perfectly reasonable explanations for those things!" I argue. Because there has to be. I am dominant, so there has to be.

"There's nothing wrong with being submissive-"

"What are you talking about? I'm a Malfoy, I can't be a sub."

"It's not about your family name, you know this, Draco. It's about which role your natural nature would complement-"

"Hence why I'm a dominant!"

"Whatever role you are, you will be happy in it, whether you believe it now or not. It's how your inheritance works," Mother says with a sigh.

_She's right Draco, we're submissive, I- I thought you knew this, I would have told you before..._

Shut up! And inexplicably, you do. I know my mother doesn't believe me, but that's fine. She just doesn't understand. She will, eventually.

"I'm going to practice my stances," I say, beginning to leave the room. "I want to see how naturally it comes now that I've actually had my inheritance!"

I have trained my whole life to be what I am- a dominant Veela. But somehow, it doesn't feel right.

_You know what that means-_

Yes. I do know what that means. I'm just not trying hard enough.

_Draco, suppressing me won't do anything-_

I'm ignoring you. I shift my stance so it's predatory and attempt a growl. It's slightly feeble.

 _Slightly? Listen, Dray_ -

Don't call me that.

_Let me take over. I can help you learn how to do this. It's natural for me, even if I'm not in the situation._

I don't trust you. I feel you wince at that, and frown. Why do you care if I trust you or not?

_We're part of a whole. We're supposed to work together._

I roll my eyes, but I know you're right. Fine, you can have control.

Being co-conscious is strange. I can see and feel and hear everything, but I can't control my body. You stretch out my- your? Our? _Mine when I'm in control, yours when you are_ \- limbs, supposedly getting used to being in control.

_Now, listen to me Draco. You are not a dominant._

Will you stop with this bull! There's nothing else I can be apart from a dom, I've told you this!

_How am I going to convince you...? I think you need to be around a dominant. Understand what your reaction is, and how different you are._

That's ridiculous... But then you start moving. Where are you going?

_I'm going to talk to our mother. Ask her what she can do._

No! Stop walking! Give me control back! You don't reply, just keep walking to the kitchen, where you find Mother.

"Draco?"

"My name's Alex, I'm Draco's Veela. It's nice to meet you." You sound shy.

_Well, I want her to like me!_

Mother's face lights up, and she rushes around the island to hug you tightly, which you return. I can feel you practically glowing at her affection as you nuzzle into her neck, chirping happily.

"Draco-" don't tell her! "-refuses to acknowledge that we're submissive." Stop talking! Mother pulls away, frowning.

"Ah, yes. I encountered that problem. Well, at least you know. I was worried you both would deny it, and we would be in a right mess."

"I'm scared," you say, voice small, ducking your head.

"Oh, chick." Mother hugs you again, even tighter than before.

"What... what if he thinks he can get into a fight and gets hurt? What if he's mean to a sub who talks to him?" I feel you starting to cry, and so does Mother when she notices you shaking in her arms and your tears on her shoulder.

"Oh, love, it's going to be alright..."

"What if he doesn't accept our mate because they're dominant? What if..." Your tears turn to sobs. "What if they reject us?" Could that happen?

"Oh, my chick." All that distinguishes Mother from her Veela is their tone, but having spent my whole life around them, I know that Mum has control. My father was always formal with me when I was a hatchling. He didn't want me to embarrass him in front of his colleagues at the ministry, or worse, fellow Death Eaters, and I grew up calling him Father, and my mother Mother. Their Veela counterparts, however, were incredibly resistant to this. Mother was too, to be fair, but she obeyed Father's wishes. My Father and his Veela are incredibly different. Father was- is (he's in Azkaban, Draco, he's not dead, stop it)- ambitious, power orientated. His Veela couldn't care less about the wizarding world and its politics. He cared about me and his mate more than Father ever did. Well, maybe that's not fair. Father cares, I know he does, just in a different way. But it's his Veela - my dad - who I'm close to, who raised me.

"Quiet, chick, you're alright. Hush, now, I'm here." Mum chirps softly at you, grooming our wings, and lets you inhale her scent to calm down. Once you do, you look up at her and twitter gratefully. She chirps in acknowledgement and gives Mother control back.

"Are you alright chick?" she asks gently, wiping away tears. You nod.

"I, um, I came in here to tell you that I think Draco needs to meet a dom. It will be obvious then, I think." I don't want to do this, please stop talking, please, Alex, I'm a dom, I don't need to do this. My mother nods.

"That's a good idea." She sighs. "If his father was here, but..."

"What about your family?"

"I could talk to my father in law, but I don't know whether he'll... he's very adamant that males should be dominant. Oh! Lucius has a brother. He's kind of estranged, the family doesn't like him. But I can probably contact him. I think he's already mated though."

 _Mated he wouldn't give off the same pheromones_ -

Are you talking to me?

_I'm thinking, Draco. But I suppose it would be better than nothing..._

"Would his mate be okay with that?"

"I'm not entirely sure; I've never met either of them. I'm sure it wouldn't hurt to ask." You nod, and I feel you fully relax.

"Thank you so much."

"You're my chick. You needn't thank me." You beam, and Mother heads to the downstairs living room to use the fireplace. I can't believe you just did that.

_It's for your own good, Draco._

Bull. I don't need to talk to this supposed Uncle who I've never met. Father already trained me, and it's not going to prove I'm a sub because I'm not-

_Well, then there's no harm in trying. Besides, even if, for some impossible reason, we are a dom (which we're not, so don't get all huffy), there's always something you can learn._

I begrudgingly acknowledge that you're right. Fine. I guess I'll be meeting my uncle shortly.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry gets his inheritance!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is Harry's POV, so the italics is his werewolf, Eli, speaking, and the 'you' character is Eli. Also, even though this is set after the war, neither Sirius or Remus died. Fred isn't really present in this story, so we can assume he's alive too. Hope you enjoy!

**Friday 30 July 1998**

**Harry**

'Harry Potter, The Boy Who Lived, come to die... Harry Potter is dead!'

I jolt awake, breaths coming out in pants. Just a dream, just a dream, just a dream. Because, the beginning of summer marking the first time ever, it was just a dream. Not a vision, not a glimpse into Voldemort's mind. Just a memory. But it's over now.

I've been staying with the Weasley's since the Battle. I didn't want to impose, but they insisted. It's only for the summer, anyway, as I'm going back to Hogwarts to finish my NEWTs. Kingsley told me I didn't have to, that after the war I could become an Auror straight away. I obviously have the skill and character. But I don't want preferential treatment, I don't want to be a celebrity, I don't want to be praised for what I did. It's not something to celebrate. It's something to mourn.

I shake my head and decide I need some fresh air. I sneak out of Ron's room as quietly as I can so as to not wake him up. On my way out, I catch a glimpse of the time. Almost midnight. Almost my birthday, I suppose that means. This time last year it would have been a couple of hours until Scrimgeour would deliver Dumbledore's will. A day until Bill and Fleur's wedding, after which Ron, Hermione, and I would officially be on the run. Mere months until dozens, hundreds of people would die for me.

I shake my head to clear it again. If I dwell on it too much, I'm back there. I don't want to be dead again.

I head out of the cottage and towards the woods behind it, where I sit against a tree and try to calm my breathing. I've come out here frequently over the past month. Sometimes I just need to be by myself, surrounded only by trees and silence. Where there's nothing to remind me of just how many people died because I couldn't save them in time. I take a deep breath, allowing the cool, forest air to enter my lungs, and finally relax.

And then the pain comes.

I've felt pain before, more times than I would like to remember, but this is unlike anything else I have ever felt. It feels like every inch of my skin is splitting open, all my bones are breaking in every place and then being fused back together just so they can break again. It feels like all the air in the world has been compressed into the 10 centimetre cubed radius around my head, putting so much pressure on it I feel close to imploding. It hurts so much I find myself begging whatever god there might be to let me pass out, to let me die even. I just don't want to feel this anymore.

Eventually, after what seems like an eternity, my head clears up and the pain begins to ebb away until I'm left with a strange feeling. Almost like when you know you're not alone. Plus, the fact I feel like I've gone through some kind of exponential growth-spurt, and my body feels heavier...

_Hello?_

The voice sounds like it's simultaneously far away and very close. I whirl around, looking for its source.

"Who's there?" The voice chuckles.

_I'm your wolf, idiot. I'm in your head._

"My wolf? What do you mean in my head?"

_You don't know?_

"Obviously I don't know! Could you just explain to me who you are, what you mean by my wolf, and why you just told me you were in my head?"

_I can't believe no one's told you... We're a werewolf._

What... what?

_You're seriously not fucking with me?_

"No, I'm not fucking with you! Just... who are you, and what the fuck is going on?"

_Okay, well, my name is Eli._

"Um. Harry."

_Nice to meet you. I'm your wolf, you're my human. We share a body. If you want you can give me control of it, and we'll turn into a wolf, but the majority of the time that's up to you. I'll only force my way out if we or our mate is about to be hurt..._

"Mate?" I'm drawn to the word, which is weird. I've heard it all my life, been called it and called others it, but now it feels different. Heavier.

_I'll get to that. You don't need to talk out loud, by the way, I can hear your thoughts. Anyway, I've always existed, kind of, but you just went through your inheritance; that's what all that pain was. It changed our body and gave me the strength to become more than a presence. Does that make sense? I'm kind of shit at this..._

No, I think I get it... Keep talking. But I thought werewolves were like Lupin. He doesn't have someone living in his head, and he was bitten. I don't remember being bitten.

_There are different kinds of wolves, bitten and inherited. We're the latter. We're slightly different; we can change on command, we have mates, we tend to live in packs, which is why I was surprised you didn't know._

What do you mean?

_A werewolf pack is basically the same as a wild wolf pack. There's an alpha, betal etcetera. It's the same sort of dynamic, but less brutal, I guess. More of a human family dynamic. How come you don't have one?_

I don't know. I didn't even know my parents were werewolves, or my dad, I guess. My mum was a muggle-born, so she wasn't, right?

_She must have been a bitten wolf. The gene is recessive, so both parents must have wolf genes to have a wolf kid, but the bite changes the DNA, so bitten wolves can have inherited wolf kids, and it can skip generations. They still have mates, too, and typically wind up in packs due to this. Which is why it’s weird that you don't have a pack, unless your dad didn't have one either, but that's pretty unlikely._

Okay, so what exactly is a mate? I feel your emotions change, and it's a weird experience. I can tell they're yours, but in response, mine try to change too. And I feel happier than I've felt in a long time.

_Our mate is someone who was made specifically for us, as we were for them. They are our other half, designed to perfectly compliment us in every way. As a dominant, it is our job to protect them with our lives, to make sure they and our pups will be safe forever. They're ours._

Ours. I like the sound of that. Will they be like us? Another werewolf?

_Not necessarily. Not likely, to be honest. Most creatures can be mated to any other creature, and wolves are one of the few who can be mated to regular wizards and witches as well._

But if they could be anyone, how will we know who they are?

_Do you feel that sense of longing? That sense of missing something, of emptiness?_

I hadn't noticed until you pointed it out, but I do. The more I focus on it, the more it starts to burn.

_Yeah, it'll do that. It'll hurt more every day, until we find our mate. Then, once we make eye contact, the pain will stop. Unless they reject us._

Reject us? I almost don't want to know, but what will happen if they reject us?

_Well, nothing's certain. It depends on your strength of character, and it's better for dominants than submissives, but the likelihood is we'll become so depressed we'll kill ourselves._

Right. I gulp. Okay. Like that's not terrifying.

_I know, but as I said, they were made for us. They won't reject us. They can't._ I feel you getting sad, more than sad, at the thought of being rejected.

So what's this whole dominant and submissive thing?

_Well, a dominant looks out for their mate and pups, protects them, provides for them. It's our job to make sure our mate and pups are happy and safe. And the submissive carries the pups, as well as makes sure the dominant is relaxed, calm and happy._

And you keep saying pups. You mean...

_Children, yes._

Ah, okay. Right, I think I get it.

_The thing is, I'm assuming you haven't been trained?_

Trained?

_Right. What you're used to is very different from wolf society. We have a different way of... handling things. You were meant to learn both submissive and dominant actions, stances and such, before your inheritance, as well as the pack dynamics. Otherwise, you could come off as offensive or pick fights accidentally, or something. But you haven't, so..._

What can we do?

_I... I don't know. Do you know any wolves? You mentioned one, right?_

Yeah, Lupin. He was one of my dad's best friend, he taught at my school in my third year.

_Can you contact him?_

I can send a letter with Bernie, my owl. After... after Hedwig, Ron and Hermione got me a new one. They made it clear they knew he could never replace Hedwig, but they thought I should have one, in case I needed to contact someone.

_Harry?_

Yeah?

_You can't reject them. Our mate, I mean._

Why would I do that? I would never do that!

_Whoever they are, you can't reject them. Whoever you think they are, you can't. They were made for us, Harry. You can't reject them, no matter who they are. Promise me?_

I promise. Of course.

_Okay. I believe you. Now let's go write to this Lupin guy._


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Draco meets his uncle...

**Monday 15 June 1998**

**Draco**

I anxiously pace in my room, waiting for my uncle to arrive. He sent a letter back to my mother almost immediately, saying that he'd be happy to help. He'll be staying for a week or so, as long as I'm right and I am dominant. If I'm not, which won't happen, he will stay for the summer, along with his mate, and teach me how to be a sub. I honestly don't know why I'm so nervous to meet them. I know who I am, what I am, so this should just be a mild inconvenience. Except it's not.

_Because you know, deep down, that I'm right._

Shut up, Alex! You're not right!

I hear you whimper in my head. I realised pretty quickly that you don't like being yelled at.

I'm sorry. I just... I'm on edge.

_Why do you not want to be a sub?_ You sound almost insulted. If you were anyone else I wouldn't tell you, but the thing about having someone in your head is that you can't hide anything from them.

My father. If I was a sub, I would disappoint him. I know he's in Azkaban, I know, but...

_Oh, Draco. If he cares about something so superficial, he obviously wasn't the best father._

My father is a great man!

_Maybe so, but fathers shouldn't make chicks feel inferior for something out of their control. There's nothing wrong with being a sub, Draco. It means we get a strong, capable mate who will protect us and care for us forever. It means we get to nest and carry our chicks. Don't you want that?_

The picture you paint... I can't help but yearn for it. I shake my head. What am I thinking! Of course I don't want that! I want to be the strong, capable one, I want to protect my mate and chicks. Of course I do. I do. That's what I want. It is. I want that.

_Draco..._

The doorbell rings. It's my uncle. I hear my mother answer the door through my open window, and hear their conversation with my advanced Veela hearing.

"Hi! I'm Narcissa, it's so nice to finally meet you."

"It's nice to meet you too. I'm Michael, and this is my mate, Emma."

"Thank you so much for coming, it means so much to me."

"Of course! When I got your letter, I... well, it's about time I got to meet my nephew and his mother." There's something deeper there, but I can't work out what.

Mother is silent for a moment, before saying, slightly quieter than before, "Well, come in, make yourselves at home. I'll get my... Draco." They enter the house, and soon enough I hear my mother's footsteps outside my door. "Draco, honey? Your uncle's here." I take a deep breath. Right. Okay. Let's go.

As soon as I walk into the living room, I suddenly feel like I'm wading through mud; every one of my movements takes effort. My uncle sits on the sofa, his mate tucked into his side, and it astonishes me how much he resembles my father. His platinum blonde hair is cut short, likely the only difference, and his bone structure is refined and pointed. He is tall, even sitting, and muscled. But he does not seem sharp and cold like my father, instead, he has a warm, calm air about him. He smiles at me, and I feel myself smile back. There's something in me drawing me to him, and I realise it's you.

_He's family._

You sound like it's some sort of revelation. We knew that before, Alex.

_I know, but... he's family, and it's taken you this long to meet him?_

I don't under-

_He's family! They're family!_

Okay, okay, I understand. They're family, and that's important. I'm sorry. I realise the silence has grown thick. I wonder if my uncle is having the same conversation with his Veela. I try to work up the courage to break that silence. Somehow, when I do, the sound is more awkward than the quiet.

"It's nice to meet you. I'm Draco."

"I'm Michael. This is Emma, my mate." Family.

"You're meant to tell my mother I'm a dominant."

"Perhaps. I'm going to push some power out. If you are a dom, nothing much will happen. You might feel threatened, but nothing else. If you're a sub, well, we'll see." I feel it as soon as he does. It feels like I'm being hit by a tidal wave, and I have no choice but to fall to my knees. The power falls back instantly, and when I look up, I see both Michael and Emma gaping at me. And all I can think is fuck, fuck, fuck. What if you were right, Alex? "I've never met an untrained sub." I wince. There it is. "I'm sorry, Draco, I didn't know such a small amount would affect you like that."

"So I... I am a submissive?"

"Yes." I squeeze my eyes shut. No, no, no, this can't be happening. What will my father say? He's going to hate me. My friends at school; I'm going back for my eighth year, they all expected me to be dominant. What am I going to do?

_Draco, breathe. It's okay, you're going to be okay. Your father's not here, he won't know, and if your friends are true friends, they'll except you. Everything's going to be okay._

I try and breathe, like you say, but all I can think is sub, sub, sub, echoing around my head. I didn't want this. I don't want this. I try not to cry, squeezing my eyes shut until I feel like my eyelids might fall off. I'm a sub. I'm a sub.

_It's going to be okay, Dray. You'll be happier this way, I promise. We'll get that life, Draco, a mate to protect us and chicks to love, okay? We'll be happy. It'll be okay._

At the thought of my mate, I start calming down. Maybe you're right. I'll get a mate who can protect me and look after me, like you say. Maybe that is what I want. The thought fills me with unexpected warmth. Maybe it will be okay.

"Are you alright, chick?" Mother asks. I open my eyes, still kneeling, and nod.

"Y-yeah. I'm okay, I guess. I just... what's Father going to say?" At this, Mother wraps me in a hug.

"He will say nothing. I love that man to bits, but what he expected of you wasn't right. He doesn't need to hear of this, and if he does, I will talk to him. I won't let him hurt you, my chick, my Draco."

"I love you, Mother. Thank you."

"I love you too."

My mother and uncle leave me and Emma alone. She seems to have relaxed a bit, presumably because she knows there is no unmated dominant around her. Emma is pretty, there's no doubt about it. She has long, chocolate brown hair curled delicately into ringlets, and wide hazel eyes. Her skin is on the darker side of caramel and her frame is delicate.

"It's good to meet you, Draco."

"You too."

"Do you have any questions?"

"Is it... is it scary, being a submissive? Knowing they could have that kind of control over you?"

"A bit, but once you're properly trained it'll get better, especially after you find your mate."

"Is it nice, having a mate? Like, feeling protected and everything?"

"It's the best feeling in the world." I nod. Okay. It'll be okay.

"How do we start training?" She flashes a smile at me.

"Let's start tomorrow. You should have some time to get used to the idea of being a sub. We'll start with posture and stances, okay?"

"Sounds good. Thank you for helping."

"It's my pleasure." She pauses, smiling softly at me. "It is really great to meet you."

"You've said that."

"I know. I just... you're family."

"That's what my Veela keeps saying." She chuckles.

"Mine too."

_Out, out, out, let me out._

Before I can even reply, you're pushing your way forward and taking control, almost falling to the floor when you do so too fast. In reply, Emma's Veela takes control too.

"Nephew. Mine. Family," she says, and you move to her side so quickly it disorientates me.

"Aunt." She whimpers, tears filling her eyes.

"I'm sorry nephew. Shouldn't have taken this long to find you." The door flies open, and Uncle Michael - no, his Veela - rushes in, wings spread. I will realise later it's because he sensed his mate's raging emotions through their bond. I see his eyes soften and body relax, wings lowering so I can see Mum standing behind him. Neither of them speak, just come and join us. I realise all of a sudden that I am a little bit more whole than I was this morning, and immediately after why; my family is a little bit more whole too. Aunt Emma said I would start lessons tomorrow, but she was wrong. The first of my lessons is this: to a Veela, family is first.

Aunt Emma and Uncle Michael stay for the remainder of the holidays. I train with Aunt Emma almost every day, learning theory and posture and reactions. Sometimes Uncle Michael joins us, mostly because he misses his mate, but under the guise of allowing me to get used to dominant pheromones and power. I'm still not as resistant to it as a regular submissive, but I don't collapse every time he releases some. The more time I spend acknowledging my submissive side, the more I fall into the role, and the more accepting I become of it. I understand what you meant when you said I would be happier as a submissive. I don't think I could ever be a dominant. I suit this. I like this. And now, more than ever, I can't wait to find my mate.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry goes to Remus and Sirius'.

**Friday 31 July 1998**

**Harry**

When I get back to the house, much faster after my inheritance, I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror as I tip-toe across the landing, and pause. I look different. It's nothing drastic, I'm still myself, but I'm definitely taller, maybe even taller than Ron, at least 6'3". My hair is longer, and my eyes seem even greener. I'm stronger, too, my muscles more defined even through the shirt I'm wearing. I look good.

I make my way to Ron's room, which we've been sharing this summer, and pull out a quill, ink, and parchment, and begin writing to Lupin.

_**Lupin,** _

_**I don't really know how to start, so I'm just going to: I came into my inheritance. My werewolf inheritance, that is. Why no one ever informed me of said inheritance is confusing, but that is besides the point. My wolf told me that I was meant to be trained by a pack, however as I lived with the Dursleys, which I shouldn't have, I haven't been. Essentially, I am writing to ask if you could train me. If not, I understand, but if you could refer me to someone who could it would be very much appreciated.** _

_**Thank you,** _

_**Harry Potter.** _

I unlock Bernie's cage, having received the key after last year's birthday, and attach the letter to his leg. It occurs to me whilst doing this that I should probably write to Hermione as well, who has been staying with her parents this summer to help them get their memories back, so I ask Bernie to please wait. Bernie's much like Hedwig in the fact he requires a polite owner.

_**Hermione,** _

_**So, today's my birthday, and you'll never guess, but I just went through an inheritance. I guess I'm a werewolf! It's not like Lupin, though, apparently there are inherited werewolves too, which are pretty different. I'm sure you know all about it from your books, but I apparently have a very literal wolf half. His name is Eli, he basically told me everything I need to know.** _

_**Before you start fretting, because I know you, 'Mione, I've written to Lupin. Apparently, I need some sort of training, and as I didn't grow up in a 'pack', I never received it. I've asked Lupin to help me, hopefully he replies soon. I'll keep you posted,** _

_**Harry** _

I tie the second letter to Bernie's leg.

"Sorry it's kind of heavy, and that you might have to go a long way." He chirps. "One is for Remus Lupin, and the other for Hermione Granger." He chirps again, and I open the window and watch him fly away. I've never understood how owls always seem to know where they're going, but I don't question it. If I questioned everything I didn't understand about the Wizarding world I would never escape Hermione's explanations. I lie down, seeing nothing better to do than sleep whilst I wait for their replies.

The next day, I wake up bombarded with 'happy birthday's from Ron. I go on to explain my inheritance, at least what I know about it, and he's really supportive, unsurprisingly, which boosts my confidence a bit. We head downstairs and tell the rest of the family, minus Ginny, who's been doing work experience at the ministry all summer, so isn't here. The Weasleys are wonderful about my inheritance, hugging and congratulating me. It strikes me for the hundredth time in my life how glad I am to have found them.

 _Wow, this is a great family, huh? I mean, for wizards,_ you say.

You could say that again.

A couple of days later, I wake up to a tapping on my window. I quickly let Bernie in, as I know he doesn't appreciate being left in the cold, and give him a treat as thanks. I expect letters, but he also carries a rather large package. I open that first and find, no surprise, books, with a note from Hermione resting on top.

_**Congratulations, and happy birthday (again)! Wish I had known so I could have sent these with your present. Anyway, I discovered these with some research. The information in them is reliable and in-depth. I hope you'll find them helpful. -'Mione** _

Hurriedly, I untie the letter from Bernie's leg, my heart beating fast. I realise I'm actually nervous to know what Lupin wrote. What he thinks of me.

_**Harry,** _

_**I don't know where to start. I knew your father was a wolf, and an inherited one at that, but I never assumed you might be too. I never knew Lily was bitten, and as werewolf genes are recessive, I assumed you couldn't have been. It is curious; I'm sure Lily would have told us if it were up to her. We should discuss this in person soon. In any case, I'm so sorry, Harry; if I had known I would never have let this happen. In response to your question, I would be more than happy to train you. Sirius and I will come to the Burrow at around 1 pm this Friday to take you to our house, where, if it's alright with you, you can stay for the rest of the summer to train.** _

_**I'll be seeing you shortly,** _

_**Remus** _

I finish the letter, pleased with his response, both that it wasn't his fault that I didn't know and that he is willing to train me. However, I do wonder why my mother never told him about the bite. It is weird, as he said...

It's already Wednesday, so I have a matter of days before Lupin and Sirius arrive. I do wonder why they apparently live together, and why Sirius is coming as well, but I decide to ask them when they arrive.

By the time Friday arrives, I am fully prepared to leave. I'm more than excited to see my godfather again, as well as learn more about being a wolf. Plus, the sooner I leave the Weasleys, the sooner I find my mate. I watch out of my window as Sirius and Lupin apparate outside the house. I go downstairs, even more excited than I thought I would be. Sirius hugs me as soon as I open the door.

"It's great to see you, Harry," he says.

"It's great to see you, too. And you, Lupin."

"You can call me Remus, Harry. After all, we'll be spending quite a lot of time together."

"Right. Well, I'm ready to go. Let me just say goodbye to the Weasleys."

"Of course."

I go back to the living room, and say my goodbyes to the family, thanking them for having me, telling them I'll see them soon. We all go back to the front door, and Mr and Mrs Weasley say hello to Sirius and Remus.

"Alright. Do you mind apparating? You can do so with me as you don't know where we're going," Remus says. I don't like apparating, but I suppose I have no choice.

As always, apparating comes with that nauseous feeling, but it's not as bad as normal, and goes back to normal within a minute. It must have something to do with my inheritance.

_You can't feel nauseated every time you apparate. What if you need to save our mate or pups?_

Makes sense. I look up at Remus' house and find it's astonishingly normal. A small cottage in a cul-de-sac, painted a light blue colour, with a small front garden. It's nice.

"I know it's kind of small..." Sirius begins.

"I love it. Can we go in?"

"Sure."

Inside is a lot bigger than the outside; must be a charm. We enter into a spacious living room, with stylish but comfortable-looking furniture.

"It's nice. Thank you for inviting me, by the way. And helping me. It means a lot."

"Of course, Harry. I'm so sorry I didn't intervene sooner; I wish I knew there was a chance you could have the inheritance... Harry, I think someone stopped Lily from revealing her bite."

"Do you know who?"

"I know you might not want to hear this, but it was most likely Dumbledore. He spent a lot of time with them... near the end, and has a history of keeping things from certain people. I'm sure he meant well, but it was most likely him." I nod grimly. The more I learnt about Dumbledore after his death, the more I realised how manipulative he was in life, and how much he kept from me.

"It's fine, I understand. If you don't mind me asking, why do you two live together now?" Sirius blushed. I never thought I'd see him do that.

_Harry, you oblivious..._

What?

"Well, Sirius is my mate." Oh. Oh. That... that actually makes a lot of sense. But...

"And you were apart for twelve years? Plus all that time you were on the run! How... how did you..." They look at each other, a look I've seen before but only really see the truth in it with this newly discovered context. It makes me yearn for my mate, the stinging sensation I felt thinking about them on my birthday worsened already.

"We barely did. It - it was hard. But you do what you have to." I nod, having found a newfound respect.

"So, when are we starting training?"

"I thought we'd give you the rest of the day to get situated, and then begin tomorrow. But Harry, this is going to be hard work. We have to cram eighteen year's worth of learning into just over a month."

"I know. But you're a good teacher, a great teacher, and I'm determined. I can do this." What I don't tell them is I plan to spend every waking moment that I don't spend actively training researching using the books Hermione sent me, and practising on my own. I won't look like a fool at school, I won't. I want to find a pack, like you said, and fit in with my kind. But most importantly, I want to be able to impress my mate, something that will never happen if I don't even know how to act. And so, we get started. 

The first time Sirius calls me pup is in mid-August. By this point I've learnt a lot, and have grown a lot closer to Sirius and Remus, more so than I would have thought possible in such a short space of time. You, as well. I can't help but wonder what would've happened if Sirius hadn't gone to Azkaban, if they raised me like they were supposed to. And then Sirius calls me pup. Having extensively researched using the books Hermione sent me, I know how much of a big deal this is. He just called me his son. But it doesn't feel weird; it feels right. Sirius, although fully wizard, is more acquainted with werewolf culture than wizarding culture, so he knows as well. Which is evident when he snaps his head around to face me, eyes wide.

"Harry, I... I'm sorry, it just slipped out."

"It's okay, really. Seriously, I... you can call me that. I mean, if you wanted." His eyes light up.

"Really?" He wraps me in a hug, and I hug him back. "That means a lot, Harry, really. Thank you."

_Are you sure about this? It's kind of a big deal._

I know, but I'm sure. They both already feel like family, you can't deny that. And I've never had someone to call me pup.

_Okay, Harry. If you're sure._

I am.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back to Hogwarts!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> C/W: panic/anxiety

**Tuesday 1 September 1998**

**Draco**

The closer September comes, the more anxious I get. I've settled into my inheritance now; I've actually found myself liking being a submissive, however, due to my late training, I'm even more... well, submissive, for lack of a better word, than I should be. But going back to school scares me to no end. I know I've changed, for the better, in my mind. Without the influence of my father - which I've come to realise was a negative one - and positive people in my life as well as my inheritance, I'm definitely different. I don't know how people will react to that. Although, as you continuously remind me whenever I get too anxious, I could find my mate. My inheritance was in June, and it's now September; the emptiness my mother described has grown, and now it feels like there is a gaping hole in my chest somehow bigger than myself. Mother warns me that the mate-pains should start living up to their name as actual pain soon. It makes me even more desperate to find them.

My mother and I apparate to the station, and I am faced with swarming crowds that make me feel even more anxious. Like I'm completely surrounded, trapped. And it's so loud and hot, and I can feel glances, and sometimes outright stares, crawling all over me like bugs. They're looking at my wings, I know they are. I knew that to attempt to hide them with my robe wouldn't work; they're too big. Or maybe they're just looking at me- Draco Malfoy, Death Eater who was for some reason excused from punishment. Draco Malfoy, son of Azkaban prisoner and one of the Dark Lord's right-hand men. Draco Malfoy, the enemy of the saviour of the entire Wizarding World. Draco Malfoy, now nothing.

You whimper. _You're not nothing. As long as we have a mate, we're not nothing._

But all that does is remind me I'm a submissive.

_I thought you were okay with that now?_

I am, but everyone else won't be! All my fears about what my friends will say come flooding back. Worse, what people who already hate me will think. How they'll use my pathetic - _no, Draco, no_ \- submissive nature to hurt me. And then, inexplicably, what if my mate knew me? What if they knew me before, and hated me then, and don't give me another chance? What if they reject me? What if they reject me and ridicule me and hurt me and hate me hate me hate me? My mate can't hate me, they just can't.

_They won't, Draco..._

I can't breathe. Fuck, fuck, fuck. I can't do this, I can't be here. Everything is spinning, I feel like I'm about to pass out. Alex, can you take over? I can't, I can't do this, please...

And suddenly, I'm no longer suffocating. You have control, you can do this. I metaphorically release a sigh of relief. You can do this.

_You okay, Dray?_

Yeah, I'm sorry, it was just all too much. Can you, uh, not tell my mother it's you? I don't want her to worry.

_Okay._

Thanks. You hug my mother, tight, as well as Uncle Michael and Aunt Emma, who have come to see us off.

"I'll write to you, okay? And it'll be Christmas before either of us know it."

"I'll miss you, chick."

"I'll miss you too, Mother. I'll see you soon." And with one final hug, you wind through the thousands of people, making your way to the train. You find an empty compartment.

If... if my friends come, could we not just pretend I'm a dom? Surely that would make things easier?

_No, Draco. Not only is that impossible, especially due to the significant number of creatures on this train, that could lead to depression, for both of us. If your friends can't deal with it, then they're not real friends._

Okay. Okay. That's true. Okay. I can do this. Can you, uh, tell them though? I don't think I can.

_Of course._

Before long, the train starts moving, and Pansy, Blaise, Theo, Crabbe and Goyle find their way to my compartment. You lock eyes with Blaise, and realise immediately that, fuck, fuck, fuck, he's a Veela too. I knew that, he had told me that. How could I have forgotten? He's not my mate, but dominant, and unmated. And he scents so much stronger than Uncle Michael because of it.

"Draco? You're a sub?" He doesn't say it like I thought he would. Instead he's gentle, caring. You smile.

"Yeah. I'm Alex, by the way. Draco's Veela." Don't tell them why you're out!

_What am I meant to tell them? They seem nice, Draco. Nice dominant._

I don't know, but please, don't. They already know I'm a sub, please. You sigh.

_Okay._

"It's good to meet you, Alex." Blaise sits next to you, exactly how my aunt and uncle said an unmated dom would; alert, chin up, straight posture. It's almost threatening, but not towards you. He's protecting you. I appreciate it more than I would have thought. You don't make eye contact with him, ducking your head as a sign of respect. He nods, acknowledging it. The others sit cautiously on the bench opposite.

"I thought you said you would definitely be a dom?" Goyle. He definitely sounds more judgemental, and Blaise growls.

"Draco was... misguided. His father didn't allow consideration of this option, so Draco didn't believe it to be a possibility," you say, and the others glance at each other, confused.

"Why are you talking in third person?" Pansy asks.

_You haven't properly explained this stuff?_

I didn't really feel the need to.

"Once a Royal Veela comes into their inheritance, their Veela side develops. That's me. Whilst Draco and I share a body and are two halves of one person, we are technically separate people."

"How is Draco taking being a sub?" This comes from Blaise. He sounds concerned.

_Of course he is. He's a dom Veela, they're practically programmed to protect subs._

I know, I just... didn't expect this from Blaise.

"It was rough at first, but he's got used to it. I think he's more worried about what people will think than anything else."

"Well, he needn't be. No one will think anything, and if they do I'll beat some sense into them."

"Thank you, that means a lot." A growl echoes through the train, obviously infuriated, but probably on the other end of the train. You shiver, ducking your head and wrapping your arms around your stomach, whimpering loudly. Blaise growls lowly, letting it rumble in his chest, and his wings start visibly straining against his robes.

"What?" Theo asks. Right, their hearing isn't as good.

"Stay here, Alex. I'll see what's going on. Don't move, okay? I'm not going far, just outside the carriage." You nod, not making eye contact. Blaise pokes his head outside the compartment door, and I hear his conversation with someone who obviously did the same, due to my enhanced hearing.

"You heard that?" Blaise asks.

"Yeah. Sounded like it came from the other end of the carriage. Think they're a threat?"

"Eh, it's probably nothing. Merlin knows regular wizards can be oblivious. Someone probably made an offensive comment without meaning to."

"You're probably right. I'm Ernie, by the way. Macmillan."

"Blaise Zabini." And with that, he re-enters. "Just talked to a fire elf. He reckons everything's fine." You relax slightly, but not completely. Blaise sits back down. "You okay?" he mumbles to you, and you nod.

"Th-thank you."

"It's no problem." Soon afterwards, you let me take control back.

"Thank you," I murmur in Blaise's ear, whilst Pansy talks to Theo. "You know, for being cool about everything."

"Draco?" I nod. "It's no problem. You're my best friend, after all. You know there's nothing wrong with being a sub, right?"

"It's easier said than believed. But yeah. Still, thank you."

"You're welcome. Why don't you go to sleep? There's still a couple hours to go." I nod, trying to relax.

In my dream, there is nothing but endless light, and then a shadow obstructing it. The shadow is blurry around the edges, and I can't tell anything about them, apart from I know they're mine. My mate. They open their arms, and I immediately fall into them. This is where I'm meant to be. I open my mouth to speak, but I can't. All I can do is lay here, in my mate's arms, and savour this moment. I wish I could do so forever.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back to Hogwarts, Harry edition

**Tuesday 1 September 1998**

**Harry**

By the time the first of September roles around, I feel confident in my knowledge and abilities. Of course, I'll keep practicing at Hogwarts, but I feel ready enough not to make a fool out of myself. Siri and Re, as I have taken to calling them, are at the station with me.

"Thank you so much for helping me," I say.

"Of course, Pup. We were happy to."

_Family, pack, don't leave._

I have to, Eli. Our mate might be there, remember?

_Mate? Go, go, go!_

I put you on figurative mute, and take a breath. I've been wanting to ask a certain question for a while, but I never found the right moment. But I guess I'm kind of running out of time.

"Do you think I could come back for Christmas break? I've always spent it at Hogwarts, but I would like to spend it with you. I don't want to impose, though."

"We would love to have you, pup." The joy that fills me is one of the many ways I know that this, the three of us, are family. Are pack. "We were actually going to invite you anyway." I grin at them, pulling them into a three-way hug.

"I'll see you at Christmas, then."

"See you at Christmas. We'll miss you, pup," Re says.

"I'll miss you too." I wave goodbye, heading to the train. I find a compartment where Hermione and Neville already sit. Apparently I'm not the only one who went through an inheritance; as soon as I get close to the compartment I can scent it. He's some kind of elf, I think, probably a nature one, knowing Neville. And submissive, interesting. He's guarded as I walk in, but relaxes when he sees it's me. Nature elves and werewolves who decide to live outside wizarding society tend to inhabit similar places, meaning although they can get along, there can be friction between the two species. Of course, the opposite can occur, and werewolves and nature elves can become close and work in harmony. It's similar with all forest dwellers. I make eye contact with him before anything else, just in case, but as expected, he's not my mate. I sigh, and you whine quietly in my head.

"Hey guys," I say. I remain standing, looking to Neville as a form of respect that I wouldn't normally offer, but I would like us to remain friends. If we do, I could end up becoming much closer to him. He nods, and I smile, sitting next to him.

_He's your friend? We should watch out for him._

Was already planning on it.

"Harry! Tell me everything that happened!" Hermione exclaims. I laugh, rolling my eyes.

_Who's she?_ You seem guarded, probably assessing her threat level.

Her name's Hermione. She's one of my best friends, and probably the smartest person you'll ever meet. She'll have already done her research about everything, you don't have to worry about her doing anything out of line.

"I assume you've already been grilled?" I say to Neville, keeping my voice calm and low. He relaxes a bit more. I assume Hermione would have picked up on his inheritance, as it's reasonably evident; especially in his demeaner. Nature elves are known to be calm and confident, even though he's a sub, unlike Neville's previous self. Like typical elf inheritances, his hair is also much longer and his ears are pointed. His bone structure is much more defined as well. I'm almost certain someone like Hermione would have noticed. He laughs as well.

"Would you expect anything else from Hermione?" She huffs.

"Just answer my question!"

"Well, like I said in my letter, I went to live with Re and Siri for the rest of the summer and they trained me. I'm pretty confident now, but I have a couple more things to learn. Maybe you could help me research in the library?" Hermione smiles wider than I've ever seen.

"I never thought you would be the one asking me to study! Of course! I became really interested in this creature thing after your letter. What's it like being a werewolf?"

"It's... I don't know. Hard to explain. I feel the same, but different at the same time."

"Because that's helpful," she says sarcastically. I role my eyes.

"I mean, I feel essentially like myself, like I know I haven't changed, but I feel bolder, more assertive. Like I've grown up really rapidly. And then there's Eli." You perk up at your name, alert.

"He's your wolf side, right? I think you wrote about him in your first letter. Can we meet him?"

_Yes, good idea, want to meet your friends._

"I guess? I can't give him control without shifting, so maybe the train isn't the best place to do that. I'll probably let him out to go for a run around the Forbidden Forest tonight, so maybe then?"

_A forest? There's a forest at your school?_

Yeah, it's huge. There are actually rumoured to be other werewolves in there.

_A pack! Maybe we could join!_

What about Re and Siri, and my father's old pack? Besides, I don't want to live in the Hogwarts grounds.

_Right, sorry, I got excited._

At that point, Ron walks in with Ginny.

"Hey mate," Ron says, and a growl finds its way out of my mouth without my consent, more vicious than any I had practiced with Re. Ron takes a step back. You are furious.

_What right does he have to throw that word around like it means nothing? How dare he even insinuate that his puny wizard brain could comprehend what we feel for our mate?_

Calm down, Eli. He doesn't know. "Sorry. Just... don't call me that."

"Right, got it. So this werewolf thing is pretty cool, huh?"

"I guess you could call it that." Ron sits next to Hermione, wrapping an arm around her. That will take some time to get used to. I notice them look at Neville strangely, as if trying to figure out what's different. He laughs.

"I went through my own inheritance. I'm a nature elf."

"Right, right." I catch Ginny's eye. Part of me feels guilty, having lead her on for the majority of the past couple of years, and now not being able to follow through. I open my mouth to apologise, but she shakes her head.

"We'll talk later?" she says.

"Of course."

_You haven't mentioned her once. What do you mean lead her on?_

Nothing, don't fret. We kissed, like once. It wasn't a big deal. We never went further and we never technically dated.

_You kissed her? But she's not our mate!_

I'm aware of that, but I didn't know at the time. If I had, I would never have done it, you know that. But there's nothing I can do to change the past.

"So do you think anyone else went through an inheritance?" Hermione asks.

"Definitely. There are at least four others already on the train."

"Really? How can you tell?"

"People with inheritances scent differently. Plus you can tell whether a creature is dom or sub by their scent. Well you guys can't. Other creatures can."

"Cool! Can you tell who they are?"

"No, I would have had to memorise everyone's scents before the holidays. Because I definitely had time for that," I add sarcastically. "I can guess though, depending on people's blood lines. It's typically purebloods who get them; both parents have to have an inheritance for it to be a hundred percent sure."

"But wasn't your mum a muggleborn?"

_They ask a lot of questions._

They're just interested. They're good friends.

"Apparently she was a bitten wolf, like Re, and the bite changes your DNA or something, so bitten wolves can have inherited wolf kids. It's confusing gene stuff."

"So most Slytherins are probably going to have inheritances then."

"Ugh, what if Malfoy gets one? He'll be even more cocky," Ron moans.

_Who's Malfoy?_

A boy in our year. We've never got on, and like Ron said, he's kind of cocky.

"Unless he's a sub."

"Ha! Draco Malfoy, king of over-confident pricks, a submissive! Imagine!" Ron says, laughing, and I feel you getting angry again. I learnt that it's in most dominant creatures' instinct to protect any and all subs, even those who aren't their mates. But I didn't think we would get this defensive at such a small comment, about Malfoy no less.

"There's nothing wrong with being a sub, Ron," I say, a bit harsher than I intended.

"Right, yeah, but if Malfoy- you know, the pretentious git- was one, wouldn't that be hilarious?" I growl lowly.

"Why?"

"Well, it's Malfoy, isn't it! Imagine him acting all pleasing and, you know, submissive! You could, like, make him do stuff, right? We could make him completely humiliate himself! Merlin knows he deserves it, being a slimy Death Eater and all."

_How dare he?_

"How dare you?" I echo, the words coming out growling, and I stand, too tense to remain seated. "Are you insinuating that I would abuse my power as a dominant? That I would take advantage of a submissive? How dare you! I would never do such a thing!" I can't even think of what to say to convey to him how insulting that was. Instead, I bare my teeth at him, and growl even louder than I did when he called me 'mate'. But Neville whimpers, and I stop myself, realising I probably just scared every sub on the train. "Sorry Nev. Whatever. I need a walk." I leave the compartment, but pace around just outside.

"What did I say?" Ron asks, and you growl in my head.

_Idiot_.

"You basically just mortally insulted him," Hermione replies. Thank Merlin for Hermione. "Doms hold the safety and happiness of any sub above all else, and you just threatened one's. And suggested, like he said, he would abuse his status and power as a dom."

"I thought it was a soulmate situation? Besides, I was talking about Malfoy."

"Wolves do have mates, but they are protective over any and all unmated subs, as are most creatures. You really need to be more careful, Ron," Hermione says, scolding.

"Right. Should I go apologise?"

"He probably needs some space. Leave it for a bit, let him cool down."

"Right. Merlin, he wasn't like this before he went to Lupin's."

I'm half tempted to shift, leap off the train and let you run the rest of the way to Hogwarts, but I doubt that would do anything except make me tired, so I search for an empty compartment. I find one eventually, near the other end of the train, and end up falling asleep. I dream of my mate. I can't tell who they are, or anything about them, but I know they're mine. I open my arms for them, unable to say anything, and they almost collapse into them. I lower us both to the ground, stroking their hair. It's a weird sensation; I can feel that I'm touching it, but I can't tell anything about it; its texture, length, colour. I can't tell anything about this person, apart from the fact that they're mine, and I think I already love them.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back to Hogwarts, but properly this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> C/W: mild homophobia

**Tuesday 1 September 1998**

**Draco**

I wake up with the word 'mate' on my tongue and you practically bouncing around my mind, ecstatic. Did you see that too? I couldn't sense you.

_No, no, it's like I was completely switched off, I couldn't see or hear anything. But I could feel it, Draco, you felt so happy, so... mate!_

Mate, indeed. On waking up, the constant emptiness I feel has been replaced with a low ebbing ache, but I don't care. I know what that dream means. It means my mate is close. Mate dreams are designed to help you figure out who your mate is once you get close enough. But what is close enough? Does that mean my mate is on this train, or just in a town we went past? Curiosity eats away at me, but I can't find anything else out, until another dream. To be honest, I'm not sure I want to know anything else. Because if I do, they will too. And if they know who I am, they might reject me.

_Wait, why? Draco why?_

I used to act like a bit of a prick, I know that. I didn't realise until I spent time with other people that my father's views were... not correct. I made a few enemies at school, plus being on the wrong side of the war... I wouldn't be surprised if my mate hates me. Merlin, what if my mate hates me?

"You okay?" Blaise asks.

"Mate dream."

"You think they're on the train?" I shrug.

"I don't know. I couldn't talk in it, or see them properly." In fact, all I really learnt about my mate is how well I fit into their arms.

"Well, we're nearly here. You should get your robes on." Getting out of the train is hell. There are people everywhere, rushing to the carriages, trying to get one with their friends. I feel myself getting anxious again.

_It's okay, Draco, you're okay. You want me to-_

"You okay, Draco?" It's Blaise. He can probably scent my fear.

"Y-yeah, it's just... all the people..."

"You wanna wait it out? We can fly to the castle after all the carriages have gone. Give us a chance to stretch our wings, yeah?" That's actually a great idea. I nod.

I always forget how good flying feels until I do it again. It's like flying a broom, but a thousand times better. My wings are strong and reliable, and they're a part of me. I control them. I can stop flapping them for a few seconds, and let the wind hold me up. And just for a moment, I feel weightless. Soon enough, we pass the carriages. A couple of people point and gape at us, mainly the younger years. I guess to kids who have only been raised in muggle society, people flying is pretty cool.

Eventually we reach the school. Blaise and I land in front of the grand wooden door to the entrance hall, and we walk in, making our way passed the first years heading to the small chamber McGonagall gave us our speech as firsties, where Flitwick now would, having taken McGonagall's place as deputy head when she became Headmistress. They gape at us, and I'm confused to why, before I remember our wings are still on display. I look to Blaise for guidance subconsciously, but he just winks at them, and continues walking into the Great Hall. When the doors swing open, eyes lock on us, and I keep my head ducked down. Blaise takes my arm, which is a good thing; I would probably collapse due to my quivering legs; and leads me to the Slytherin table where our friends sit.

"Where did you guys go?"

"We flew here from the station. Wanted to spread our wings after being cooped up in the train," Blaise explains, and I'm glad he didn't mention my anxiety. He sits down, but I remain standing, until he mumbles, "You may sit, Draco." I do so, blushing slightly. I realise I've become used to Uncle Michael giving me orders, having explained some dominants like to do so, not maliciously, just to maintain power. I expected to hate it, but I grew to depend on it. I appreciate Blaise for acknowledging this, and for doing it now.

I watch the sorting numbly, noticing a few firsties recognise me and Blaise from the entrance hall and continue their staring. When a couple join Slytherin, I clap along with my house, but don't even listen to their names. I find myself not as interested in the house system. My new nature does not lend itself to competitiveness. The sorting ends, and McGonagall gives her speech; much more suitable than Dumbledore's previous ones; before allowing us to tuck in. I wait, hoping for Blaise's permission again. I didn't realise how much I depended on the guidance of a dom.

"You may eat, Draco." I nod, and do as he says. Somehow, the food tastes better for his permission to eat it. I know it doesn't sound like a healthy relationship by regular wizard standards. But his permission let's me know I'm doing the right thing, means I don't ever need to worry. It's freeing, rather than constrictive. I didn't realise until now how much my late start put me at a disadvantage. Emma didn't act nearly as submissive as I do now, she just found comfort in my uncle. But every little thing scares me. The thought of making Blaise angry, or worse, disappointed, makes me feel physically ill. I look to him before doing anything.

Part way through the meal, I overhear a conversation amongst a few firsties further down the table.

"Aren't those the guys with wings?"

"Huh?"

"Didn't you see them in the entrance hall? They were so big!"

"I dare you to go and ask!"

"No way, they look so old! They're probably seventh years!" I giggle at that.

"No, I think I know that guy! Isn't that Draco Malfoy? He was in the Daily Prophet with his family; I think his dad was a death eater!" My heart sinks. I didn't want this. I don't want to be thought of as Lucius Malfoy's son. I loved my father, I still do, but he made some wrong decisions, decisions that made me make the same ones, ones I regret with every fibre of my being. If I'm known of as Lucius Malfoy's son, I'll be known of as a death eater. I thought the knowledge of who I was would deter them, but it seemed to make them more interested, and before I know it, the three of them have found their way over to us; two boys and a girl. They seem to be quietly arguing over who should speak first. I see Blaise smirk, obviously realising what's going on.

"Can we help you?" he says.

"Um, we were just... just wondering... why do you have wings?" Blaise chuckles.

"We're Veela." One of them; the girl who knew who I was, who is probably a pureblood; gapes, whilst the others look confused.

"Veela? What's that?"

"Well that's kind of complicated. There are three kinds," Blaise starts.

When he finishes his basic explanation, one of the firsties asks; "So are you dominants?"

"I am, yes," Blaise replies.

"What about you?" Another says, gesturing to me. "You haven't said anything; that's not very dominant." I gulp, looking to Blaise, who nods, indicating I can speak.

"Um, n-no, I'm a sub." Blaise places a hand on my shoulder, a gesture of congratulations. But when I look at the firsties, they're glaring at me in disgust. Whatever they're about to say, don't listen to them.

"Ew, doesn't that mean you're, like, gay?" I hear the rumble of a growl start in Blaise's chest.

"Well, uh, not- not necessarily..."

"Wait, I thought you were Draco Malfoy?" the pureblood girl asks, confused.

"Yeah. I mean, I am."

"So how are you gay?" one of the boys says with the most disgust I've ever heard someone utter.

"It's not... I m-mean, I didn't chose-" He cuts me off with a look that makes me whimper, ducking my head. Blaise's hand tightens on my shoulder.

"There's nothing wrong with being a male submissive," he says, practically growling. The firsties look sceptical, but I can tell they're scared of Blaise.

"Right. It was nice to meet you... sorry, I didn't catch your name?" the girl says politely.

"Zabini."

"It was nice to meet you, Zabini. Thank you for explaining." He nods at her, his hand slipping off my shoulder as he turns back to his meal. One of the boys glares at me when I raise my eyes again, and I look away. I knew I should never have accepted my submissive nature. If I had never allowed myself to become what I, and apparently everyone else, hates, that conversation would never have happened, and I wouldn't be left feeling so... small. Worthless.

_You're not worthless, Draco._

I know. I do know that. But... that doesn't stop me from feeling that way. I just wish I wasn't a sub. I wish I wasn't such a sub.

_There's nothing wrong with-_

Yes, there is. I made a mistake the day I listened to you. I should never have allowed my submissiveness to grow. And now look at me. I'm pathetic.

_But our mate_ -

Our mate will hate us, Alex. Look at me! I can't even stand up to eleven-year-olds. And that is when I realise that I'm right. My mate will despise me; I'm pathetic. Who would want someone who can't even look at children without whimpering by their side? Not just someone; Draco fucking Malfoy. Everyone probably hates me anyway, and anyone who didn't out of some sort of respect for me will now that I'm a sub. As soon as my mate realises who I am, they will reject me. I don't want to be rejected, but I know that I will be, unless I never meet my mate. I swear to myself, even if you hate me for it, I will do everything I can to avoid finding them.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry's first day back at the castle.

**Tuesday 1 September 1998**

**Harry**

When I wake up, I do so with a manic grin on my face. I just had my first mate dream. Re and Siri told me about them, and I had been so excited for my first one. It was all I could have, well, dreamed. I can't wait for my next one. No, I can't wait to find my mate, for real. They must be nearby, if I'm having mate dreams. They're initially triggered by close proximity, so hopefully they'll be at Hogwarts. Even knowing nothing about them, I already feel stronger about them than I have ever felt about anyone or anything. I know that once we meet, they will be my world.

I look out the window, and realise we're pretty much almost there. The train begins to slow down just as I finish hurriedly donning my robes, and I join the sea of people escaping their compartments. I find Ron, Hermione, Neville and Ginny in a carriage, and after petting the thestral, I climb in. I refuse to send a guilty look at Ron; it was his fault I snapped, and he knows it.

"Sorry about, like, offending you m- Harry."

"It's fine. I probably overreacted a bit, but don't insult subs, okay?" He nods.

"We're good?"

"We're good." I turn to Neville. "Are you okay?" His head is ducked, arms folded around him. I must've scared him, bringing out his sub side. He nods, taking a deep breath. I sit next to him. "Relax, Nev, it's okay. I'm not nor was I ever mad at you. I'm sorry for losing control. I won't let anything hurt you." I sense him relax slightly, and he looks up at me.

"Thank you." The thestrals began to move, and soon enough I was sitting between Ron and Hermione at the Gryffindor table. I barely listened to the sorting or McGonagall's speech, rather I scoured the table for anyone who might be my mate. It turns out Romilda Vane was the only Gryffindor apart from me and Neville to get an inheritance, which isn't entirely surprising. Our year is the only one who would have creatures in it so far, as we're the only ones old enough. A few might start cropping up in the seventh year, but until then, it's just us, and we have a small year compared to the others, although lots of us are actually purebloods, it's only ancient pureblood families with a history of inheritances that get them. Vane appears to be a submissive dryad by her scent. But one look at her, and I can tell she's not my mate. One more look down the Gryffindor table and I can tell there's no one else in my house with an inheritance, and I know I wont be able to find anyone else in the Great Hall; the scents and noises are too much; and even if I did, I wouldn't be able to catch their eye. I sigh, and realise everyone has already started eating.

"Are you okay, Harry?" Hermione asks.

"Yeah. Distracted." I start eating, and I didn't realise how hungry I was until now. I pile heaps of stake on my plate and begin to tear into them. Turns out being a werewolf changes your appetite quite a bit. And honestly, thank Merlin for Hermione. It's obvious she's done her research, and educated everyone else that was in the cabin whilst I was asleep, because no one says anything about my admittedly odd meal.

After the meal, I catch Ginny's eye, and she nods. Whilst everyone goes to the common rooms, we find a secluded area by the hall to talk.

"You wanted to talk?" she says. Even though I know that this situation isn't my fault, I find myself feeling guilty.

_Don't! She should feel guilty; she stole your first kiss from our mate!_

"I just... you know we can't be together, right?"

"I know. I... Hermione told me about how you would have a mate now, who likely isn't me, and... well, yeah, I know."

"I'm really sorry, Gin. If I had known about my inheritance, I would never have... well, allowed us to be whatever we were last year. I really did care about you, you know that?" You growl in my head.

"I know. I think it will take me a while to get over you, but... I understand. I hope whatever we had doesn't effect whatever you will have with your mate." I smile. She really is a great person. If it were anyone else, they would probably be having a fit right now.

"That means a lot."

"It means a lot that you wanted to have this conversation. Seriously, Harry, I appreciate this. Your mate... your mate is really lucky."

"Whoever you end up with is lucky too. You're really great, Gin. I'm sorry this couldn't work."

"So am I." She seems to restrain herself, but eventually fails and hugs me, tight. I figure I owe it to her to hug her back, even though it goes against my instinct and makes you mad.

_Stop that! What if you meet our mate and reek of her?_

Can you just shut up for two seconds? She deserves closure. You sigh, still angry, but don't object further. When Ginny lets go, there are tears in her eyes.

"Thanks, Harry."

"I hope we can be friends still?"

_No! Don't ever talk to her again!_

She sniffles. "I'd like that."

"Let's go back to the common room." She nods, and we set off. Hermione grins excitedly when she sees me enter the room. I frown, confused.

"You said we could meet Eli!" I roll my eyes. Right, I forgot about that.

"Okay, fine. Let's go down to the forest. You guys coming?" I say to Ron, Neville and Ginny.

"Wouldn't miss it," Neville says. "I want to go down to the forest anyway, it energises me."

"Are you going down to the forest?" a voice asks, and I turn to see Romilda Vane. "Mind if I join you?" Of course, she's a dryad. She get's energy from the forest too, and I doubt any of her friends would want to go with her. Neville looks to me, and I nod.

"Sure. The more the merrier." And so we all head off together. We won't all fit under my invisibility cloak, so I bring the Marauders' Map and we sneak through the school. Once we get there, Vane and Neville head off together into the centre of the forest. Ready to show them, Eli?

_You bet._

I quickly strip off, not wanting to tear my clothes, and allow you to take control, feeling the shift begin. It doesn't hurt nearly as much as my inheritance, but the process of my bones breaking and refusing, my skin stretching and sprouting fur is still pretty painful. Being co-conscious is still strange, even though we've done it so many times since my inheritance. You plod up to my friends, who look terrified (I don't blame them, you're fucking huge, even Re's wolf submitted to you when you first met), before your tongue lolls out and run in circles around them. Hermione bursts out laughing, obviously not expecting you to be such a complete goofball.

_Hey! I'll have you know I can be very serious._

Hermione reaches out a hand. "May I?" You nod, and she scratches you behind your ear.

_That feels good..._

I can tell; you look like an idiot. You immediately pull away from her, huffing at me, and Hermione giggles.

"I knew werewolves were big, but I didn't expect... this!" It's true, I'm not surprised she's shocked. You're actually higher than even Ron's hips; if you stood on your hind legs you could rest your front paws on his head, easy. Compared to Hermione, who's fairly small... well, I'm not surprised she's shocked.

_Why thank you._

I shouldn't have said that. Merlin knows if I inflate your ego any more your head will explode.

_Whatever, arsehole, I'm going for a run._

You nod towards the forest behind you, signalling your intentions, and take off. The six of us get back at around eleven, and I immediately go to bed. Not because I'm tired, but because I'm excited for my next mate dream.

Almost immediately, I fall into a dreamless sleep, and the only thing I can sense is my own longing. Eventually, another figure appears, and I can tell instantly it's my mate. I still can't tell anything about them appearance wise, and my voice is muted when I try to speak to them, but I can scent them. And Merlin, I have never smelt anything better in my life. It's the perfect mixture of crispness and sweetness, like fresh air but also like home. It has a layer of the typically submissive scent layered over it; like milk chocolate and crackling fires. There's a number of scents I can't place, but they smell simply undeniably amazing. And, Merlin, I want to scent that forever. I hold my hand out to them, gesturing for them to join me. They seem hesitant; a stark contrast to the first dream. I take a step forward, and they take one back. I frown.

"Mate," I force out, and see them startle. "Come." My voice is strange, incredibly non-descript, and if I wasn't me I wouldn't even be able to tell if I was male or female, net alone recognise it. My mate tenses, but complies, coming to me shyly. They take my hand gingerly, and it's all I can do not to pull them to my chest and never let go. What changed between now and the train? I open my mouth to ask, but it's forced shut against my will. It seems the dream can judge my intentions, and I cannot ask questions. Instead, I lift a hand to their cheek, and smile as they lean into my palm. I lean forward to whisper in their ear: "You are mine, mate." I hear them gasp.

"I am yours." Like my own voice in the dream, theirs reveals nothing about them, and I forget the sound of it instantly. I don't care. I could listen to those words forever.

"Say it again."

"I am yours."

"And I, yours, mate."


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First day of lessons, and a seminar about everything creature inheritance!

**Wednesday 2 September 1998**

**Draco**

"And I, yours, mate," my mate says, and whilst I can't hear their voice, I can hear their words, and they are everything. I am pulled into consciousness by Blaise, who I growl at for doing so. He chuckles at me.

"Good dream?" Yes, I think, it was a great dream, and then scorn myself for doing so. I had sworn last night that I would not allow myself to go to my mate, would not allow myself to get any closer to them. If I fell for them, it would only make avoiding them so much harder.

_Draco, please don't do this..._

If I don't, they'll reject me. The thought quietens you.

"Sorry to wake you up, Dray, but we need to go to breakfast." I nod, too out of sorts to answer verbally, and begin to get up and ready. When we get to the hall, the professors are already starting to give out timetables. As with last night, I wait for Blaise's permission before sitting and eating. The unwelcome thought pops into my head that I can't wait to find my mate so they can do this for me, then I remember that they would probably reject me before they had the chance.

_Draco, please stop thinking like that._

I know that this hurts you; I can feel you getting increasingly timid the more I think of rejection. And I'm sorry, but I can't stop.

_We need our mate, please, Draco, don't make me live without them._

I would rather live without them than be rejected. I feel you wince.

_They can't reject us, they're our mate, we were made specifically for them! How could they hate us if we are their perfect match?_

Because of who I am. And I know that's not your fault, but it doesn't change anything. And I don't want to talk about this anymore. As much as it hurts you, it does me. I yearn for my mate, more and more each day. The thought of going without them forever hurts me more than words can say. But I just can't bare the possibility of being rejected. It's better this way.

At the end of breakfast, McGonagall stands up, tapping a fork on a glass of orange juice to get our attention.

"Could all seventh and eighth years please stay behind after breakfast. Thank you."

_What happened? Have we done something wrong? Are we in trouble?_

It's probably nothing. I doubt two whole years could be being punished before classes even start. Once the rest of the school has left the hall, McGonagall stands up.

"As you all know, this is a pivotal time in your lives. Not only are we all in recovery from the events of last year, but you will be taking your N.E.W.T.s, as well as turning eighteen. In fact some of you already have, hence this talk. As many of you know, with your birthdays, there is the possibility of receiving an inheritance. Normally, we teach seventh years about creature inheritances in a new class dedicated to teaching you both about what to expect should you receive one and how to act around your classmates who may if you don't. However, due to the addition of the eighth years this year, a change in this system is required.

"As many eighth years have already gone through their inheritances, it has become pertinent to teach both years all you need to know quickly. Hence, today, instead of classes, you will be receiving a day-long seminar about the topic. To give this seminar, are specialists Dr Turner and Dr Li."

I feel you relax as her speech goes on. Of course, this is a mild waste of time for me, as I have already been taught everything I know about creature inheritances, although I appreciate the effort for everyone else. It is important that regular wizards understand any changes in habits, and what may be offensive or dangerous.

The seminar begins with an explanation of the different possible inheritances one could receive, and an explanation of what each creature is. It becomes evident quite quickly that they intend to use those of us who have gone through inheritances as examples, something you are rather uncomfortable with, and Blaise is obviously angry about. They start off by going through the rarer inheritances, such as Shiwana and Drachael, which no one has received. Eventually, they get on to the more common ones, and go into more detail, starting to ask people to come up so they can demonstrate.

"Some inheritances have many different kinds. Elves are a good example of this, as there is a type of elf for each element, although fire, water and nature elves are the more common kinds. Are there any elves in the room?" Two people stand up: a fire elf from Hufflepuff, who I realise is probably the one Blaise spoke to on the train; and a nature elf from Gryffindor a few moments later. I realise with a jolt of surprise that it's Longbottom. The fire elf is a dominant, and I consciously avoid his gaze, in case he's my mate. If we make eye contact, he'll realise, and my goal of avoiding them would be for nothing. "Please make your way to the front." They do so, and the speakers look pleased. "Excellent, excellent, thank you. If I am correct, here we have a dominant fire elf and a submissive nature elf. You can see the similarities in them, with the bone structure, pointed ears and hair texture, however there are clear differences, some due to the fact that they are different kinds and some because one is a dominant and the other submissive. We'll go onto dominance and submission in the second portion of this talk.

"What are your names?" she asks.

"Ernie Macmillan," the fire elf replies.

"Neville Longbottom," the other says, more uncertain. "As you can see, Mr Macmillan's colouring, especially in his skin tone and hair colour, is comprised of warm tones, whereas Mr Longbottom..." she goes on, but I know all of this, and begin to drift off, until I hear the other speaker mention Veelas.

"Now many of you may think you know a lot about Veelas, but your information is most likely incorrect. There are actually three kinds of Veelas. Do we have any in the room?" Blaise grumbles behind me, but begrudgingly stands up. I'm unsure whether I should or not.

"You don't have to if you don't want to. They can't make you do anything," Blaise murmurs in my ear. I'm about to agree with him, but I know that everyone, at least everyone in Slytherin, knows of my inheritance, and will be confused as to why I don't go up, and most likely judgemental. I sigh, rising to my feet. Everyone's eyes turn to look at me, and I can feel you practically withering. I want to do the same, but Blaise places a reassuring hand on my shoulder, guiding me to the front of the room.

"Wonderful," the man says. "What are your names?"

"Blaise Zabini and Draco Malfoy."

"Excellent. As I said, there are three species of Veela: séduisant, which are probably the most common; oiseau; and lastly, as Mr Zabini and Mr Malfoy are, alliage, or, as they are more commonly known, Royal Veela." He went on to explain what each of them were, and point out distinguishing features.

"Now, whilst you two are up here," the woman begins, "we should discuss mates. Many creatures have destined mates, the most common exceptions being nekos and vampires, who pick their mates. However, almost all creatures are either dominant or submissive. Some species have different names for this, the more common example being alphas and omegas, but they are essentially, and for the purposes of this talk, the same thing. It is very important to be aware of the differences between the two, as they will behave differently and expect different behaviour from you." She went on to explain what subs and doms were, how they act and what they would expect.

"Now," the man continues, "it is fairly easy to tell the difference between dominants and submissives, in their appearances but also in simple things like their stances. "For example, Mr Malfoy here, is clearly a sub." A few shocked gasps and mumbles come from the crowd. They know. Everyone knows, and I can't take it back. I keep my head down, for fear of making eye contact with someone. I'm scared that I will look into their eyes and see disgust, contempt. But I'm more scared I will find my mate, and they will hate me. Blaise senses my unease, placing a hand on my shoulder. It helps a lot; his approval; and I instantly feel slightly more at ease. I didn't realise how much I would come to depend on him.

The man goes on to point out details, first in my appearance: I'm shorter, my facial features are more delicate, I have less muscle mass, etc: and then things like my stature and posture and how I'm ducking my head. He goes on to compare me to Blaise, who in comparison probably looks like the most dominant Veela ever. Eventually, after what seems like years, they allow us to sit back down. The seminar continues, but I don't listen, instead listening to the word 'sub' echo around in my head and desperately avoiding eye contact with everyone. Because now they know, and there is no going back.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Creature seminar from Harry's POV... in which he may or may not realise what Draco is.

**Wednesday 2 September 1998**

**Harry**

I appreciate the effort, I really do. After all, it's important for regular wizards to learn about the different inheritances and how to act around people who get them. But I would really rather not be here. I do, after all, know everything they are saying and more. And with such a good alternative (spending time in a mate dream with my mate, for example), I would give anything to not be here right now. However, it's interesting to see who has an inheritance, and I pay attention for that reason. Being a small year, there weren't that many; only two from Hufflepuff (Ernie Macmillan, a dominant fire elf and Zacharias Smith, a dominant Coraniaid) and two Ravenclaw (Terry Boot, a submissive vampire and Morag MacDougal, a sub Draconi). I try to catch Terry and Morag's eyes to see if either of them are my mate, but can't, as they're both looking down.

I'm the only one who goes up when they ask for werewolves, and it puts me on edge. I don't like being paraded in front of everyone, and I especially don't like that they would do this to subs, who would probably be scared out of their minds. They point out my distinguishing features, although it's mostly in how I behave rather than my appearance. The woman then asks me in a hushed voice whether I trust my wolf enough to turn here.

If I give you control, you can't do anything, okay? Just grin and bare it, it will probably end up in fewer annoying questions later.

_Fine, but I can't promise not to give them a scare. I don't being treated like a prize dog._

As long as you don't hurt anyone. I nod to the woman, and head out a side door to strip down before giving you control. You plod back into the main hall, and immediately growl at the woman, baring your teeth, but don't hurt her. Both speakers gawk at your sheer size, and the hall breaks into nervous muttering. You turn away, not listening to whatever the women starts saying, sniffing the air. What are you doing?

_Trying to find mate._

You think they're here?

_Maybe. I don't know, there are too many scents. I'll have to walk around the room._

Don't do that. We'll come into contact with whoever it could be soon enough. This isn't a good place to meet them, after all, wouldn't you rather we be in private? You grin wolfishly at the thought of having our mate to yourself, and I take that as agreement.

Eventually, they let us go, so you head back out the side door and give me control back. I change again and head back to my seat. They start talking about Veelas next, and Malfoy and his friend Zabini stand up. And oh Merlin, Ron was right; Malfoy's a sub. Not just that, he's incredibly submissive. He looks to Zabini before standing, and keeps his head ducked, and arms wrapped around his waist. He's obviously scared as well, not that I'm surprised. As Ron revealed on the train, many will probably take advantage of his submissiveness. And Zabini looks completely on guard, glaring at anyone in his vicinity who so much as looks at Malfoy. And I want to do the same. The thought catches me off guard, but it shouldn't; it's in my nature to help subs, especially those as submissive and scared as Malfoy, no matter who they are. Even so, I didn't expect to feel... like this. It's almost overwhelming how much I want to go over there and make sure he never feels as scared again, and you're even worse than I am: your thoughts aren't even coherent, just single words growled at me.

Eli, calm down. Look, Zabini will protect him, and no one's going to hurt him. If I go up now, it will just make everyone confused and he'll probably be made fun of for needing my help. There's nothing we can do, so just calm down, okay? You growl, but acknowledge I'm right, and begin to calm down.

_He's a good sub, very pretty. He's very sub, scared now. He needs strong dom, to protect. You should go over, protect him, yes?_

I can't, Eli. It wouldn't help him. He's got Zabini, see? He won't be hurt here.

_Hmm, don't know. Very sub, Harry. I think he needs us. We go over?_

Eli, no. Stop asking. Remember what I said, okay? There's nothing we can do. You grumble, but back down, even though my own instincts don't. I still desperately want to go up to him. He's standing at the front of the room now, and the speakers are explaining the different types of Veela. Malfoy keeps his head down, deliberately not making eye contact with anyone, and seems to be trying to take up as little space as possible. I can't help but think he would make a great mate. His dom is lucky.

"Malfoy's acting weird," Ron mutters. "Don't you think?"

"He's a sub, Ron," I reply, my words clipped. If he says anything offensive I don't think I'll be able to restrain from hurting him. I watch his eyes widen, and he opens his mouth, but I growl at him and he closes it again.

"Really?" Ginny says, not maliciously, just curiously. "I would have expected him to be dominant."

"It's completely unpredictable, especially for other people. Only you can know your true nature," Neville explains.

"Are you trying to tell me that Malfoy is secretly timid and pathetic?" I can't help but growl at that, and see Neville flinch beside me. I put a hand on his shoulder, which he leans into, and scowl at Ron as you rant angrily in my head. "I mean, not that subs are pathetic, just, well, look at him." He nods his head towards where Malfoy stands, practically cowering and hiding behind Zabini.

_Scared sub, Harry. Go help. Wizard being prick to sub, kill him, and save sub._

"He is not being pathetic. He is scared and his instincts are in control," I say, trying to stay calm, but the words still come out as growls.

"Right, right, sorry." He doesn't sound it, but I can't think about correcting him further; I'm distracted by the need to go and protect Malfoy. Funny, if you told me I'd be having that thought last year I would have laughed and directed you to Mungo's. Finally, they allow Malfoy and Zabini to sit back down, and announce that we will be breaking for lunch. My eyes are locked on Malfoy. He murmurs something to Zabini, who doesn't look to happy about it, saying something back. Malfoy flinches, but replies. Zabini nods, seemingly reluctantly, and Malfoy stands up and leaves the hall. I try not to go after him, I really do. But with both my instincts and you screaming at me, I simply cannot find the strength to stay in my seat.

"I'm going to go let Eli run around, he's getting antsy from sitting around all morning." Everyone nods, but I catch Neville's eye and it's obvious from the look he gives me that he knows what I'm doing. I ignore him, and set off. I'm only part way down the corridor when I hear Zabini call my name.

"Potter!" I stop, turning around to find him behind me. I nod at him, a sign of respect, and he does the same. "If you're going to find Draco, don't."

"How... how did you know I was going to-"

"You weren't exactly subtle. And I guess I would have done the same thing."

"So you understand why I have to find him."

"I understand why you think you do, but trust me. He... for his whole life, he was so sure he would be a dom. He never started sub training until the summer." And I'm guessing he didn't put in as many hours as I did. "He's the most, well, submissive sub I've ever encountered. I think he's scared doms will abuse that, especially since you used to... argue so much." I feel a growl rumble in my chest. How dare he suggest I would do such a thing! "I don't mean to say you would," he continues quickly. "It's just... Draco's scared. I know you want to help, I do too, but the best way to do that is just let him have his space until he gets used to it." I sigh. I don't like it, but he's right.

_The fuck do you mean? There is a scared, alone and fragile sub, and it is our responsibility to look after him!_

Exactly, and, like Zabini said, the best way to do that is to leave him alone. I would probably just scare him more. "Alright. You know him better than me, I guess. I respect that. But if anything happens, I'll be damned if you stop me again."

"Sure thing, Potter." He holds his hand out, and I shake it.

"Tell Malfoy..." calling a sub by their last name doesn't seem right. "Tell Draco I'm here for him, if he needs me. Past forgotten, seriously."

"Will do. See you around." I let go of his hand, and head back to the hall for lunch. Zabini comes back about half an hour later, grabs some food and leaves again, probably so Draco doesn't have to come into the hall again. After lunch, the speakers say everyone with inheritances can leave, they don't need any examples for the next part of the talk and we know all the information, but tell us to go to McGonagall's office after dinner. I decide to go back to my dorm and take a nap. I'm pretty tired, and who knows, maybe I'll have another mate dream. Turns out, I was right.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> C/W: panic/anxiety

**Wednesday 2 September 1998**

**Draco**

As soon as they break for lunch, I turn to Blaise.

"Can I go back to my dorm please?" Blaise frowns.

"I don't want you to be alone." I don't like making him upset, and I want to obey him. But being here, surrounded by people staring at me and mumbling about me is stifling. I can't stand being here a moment longer.

"Please, I can't be here... there's too many people, I can't, please Blaise..." He doesn't look happy, and it makes me feel slightly sick. But he nods, and as soon as he does I leave, practically running out of the hall. I make my way as quickly as possible to the Slytherin common room. No one's in there; everyone's just leaving class for lunch; so there's no one to see me starting to break down. And honestly, thank Merlin for that. I don't need people thinking worse of me than they already do. I can feel you getting more and more unstable too, which makes me feel even worse. Your emotions only add to mine, and make me feel guilty. If you were someone else's Veela...

_No, Draco, no, no._

You're obviously too upset for cohesive thoughts, but I get the message, even if I don't agree with you.

_Need... need mate. Want them here, please, find them, hurts.._ **.**

And it does hurt. It's always there, at the back of my mind. A dull ache that has definitely got worse since my inheritance, but so slowly I hadn't noticed it until now. I do want my mate. I really, really do. But I can't have them, and it breaks my heart. You whine, but don't comment. I stumble up the stairs to the dormitories, and by the time I fall (rather ungracefully) into my bed, tears are falling down my cheeks and choked sobs are working their way out of my mouth. I clutch my pillow to my face, and I inexplicably wish it smelled like my mate. I try to breathe, but the air feels like it's cut off from my lungs, which are burning. I know I'm panicking, but I can't stop, because the word sub is echoing around my head again, and everyone knows. And based off the firsties' reactions, it won't be taken well. I'll be pushed around and called names, and everyone will hate me, including my mate. Fuck, when they find out who I am...

The door opens, and Blaise's scent fills the room; the overpowering scent of a dominant. My head snaps up of its own accord, and my body works its way into a submissive position.

"Draco..." he says, his voice full of pity. I hate it. I don't know what I want, but it isn't his comfort. That's for my mate to give me. I try to push the thought from my head. I don't need my mate. But nevertheless, I don't want Blaise to try to comfort me. And even if I don't know what I do want, he seems to. "Sub," he growls, and I whimper in response. I realise it isn't him anymore; he gave his Veela control. "Come." I scramble towards him and sit at his feet. "Good sub." He begins to pet me, stroking my hair, and I chirp subconsciously. "Breathe, sub." At his order, I find myself able to take the deep breath I had been trying to take before. "Good, now relax." I let the tension leave my shoulders. "Look at me." He lifts my chin, and I let my eyes drift to his. "Tell me what's wrong." The words fall out of my mouth before I even understand his order.

"Everyone knows."

"That you're a sub?" I nod. "Why does that upset you?"

"They... they'll judge me, like the first years, and everyone h-hates m-me bec-cause I was a d-death eater... no one was mean b-because they were scared of m-me, b-but now... now I'm pathetic."

"Oh, Draco. It's going to be okay. I'll protect you, I won't let anyone hurt you or talk shit about you, and if they do I'll give them scars that'll never fade. And you are not pathetic. You're so good, such a good sub, look at you." I can't help but chirp happily at his words. "There you go, see? It's going to be okay." I don't quite believe him, but I nod, if only to make him happy. "Want to come down for lunch?" No, absolutely not, I think, shaking my head vigorously. Too many people, too many who know. "Okay, I'll grab something for you."

"Thank you," I say quietly. He nods, running a hand through my hair. "What-what is your name?" He looks happy, and I realise it's because I noticed he wasn't Blaise.

"Mateo. I'll be back soon." At that, he leaves. I exhale deeply. Thank Merlin for Blaise, and Mateo. I didn't know I had become so reliant on my uncle's dominant nature during the summer, and how much I needed a dominant's presence in my life. Once again, I feel my mood drop as I realise how much I want my mate, but can never have them. I get back in bed, not before adjusting my pillows and comforter into the vague shape of a nest, and curl up, clutching a pillow to my chest.

After a few minutes Blaise comes back and we eat together in a comfortable silence. After we do, he suggests I take a nap, and even though I want to protest I can already feel my eyelids drooping; probably why he suggested it.

"Thank you," I murmur.

"Of course. You're my best friend, Draco. I care about you."

And I fall asleep. I realise almost immediately I'm in a mate dream, if only for the scent that ebbs through the air. I can't deny that my mate smells amazing. I can't place all of it, but there's cinnamon and broom polish, layered with the typically dominant earthy scent, stronger even than Blaise's. It's all I can do not to run to them, but I can't. I can't. My mate retains the same shadowy appearance they have in my previous dreams, but this time I can tell their build. And, as expected, he's a male. Of course he is, like my mother said, it's unlikely for a male submissive to be mated with a female dominant. And, to be honest, that's not what I wanted. But being gay will just be another thing to be ridiculed over. He takes a step towards me and I take one back, because if I go to him I will just fall further. And if I do that, it will hurt even more when he rejects me.

"Mate," he says, his voice nondescript, but simultaneously pleading and demanding. I can't help but whimper, and he sways towards me at the sound. "Please." I want so badly to go to him. It's like his voice is a tide, pulling me away from shore, away from safety. I can't let it. I shake my head, forcing myself to look away from him. He growls, and it makes my knees shake. "Mate, come here." It's not a request this time, it's a demand, and I can't resist it. I practically fall into his arms, and he immediately pulls me into his chest and wraps his arms around me. I feel safe, and I can't help but wish I could stay here forever. His scent engulfs me and I take in lungfuls of it, letting it calm me down. But then he pulls away from me, holding me at arms length. I try to look away from him, thankful he can't see me blush, but he tilts my chin back up to face him. "Talk to me, please. Why-" he seems to choke on his words. "Can't ask questions, okay. You don't want to come to me. Tell me why."

"You'll hate me." The words are a whisper, pulled out of my mouth by his command before I can decide whether or not to say them.

"I could never hate you, mate." His words are full of sorrow. "You are mine. I could never hate you, why... Tell me why you think that."

"Because I'm..." the dream won't let me say who I am, and I'm grateful. I don't want to reveal myself, because if I do he'll pull away from me. But I have to answer him, I can't disobey my mate, but the dream won't let me and I can't and he'll hate me because I didn't do what he asks, oh Merlin how-

"Sh, calm down, it's okay, I've got you. I'm guessing that the dream won't let you say." I shake my head, glad he understands. "That's fine, I'm not mad at you. You're so good, I'm so proud of you for trying." His words make me feel boneless, and I sag against him. Praise coming out of his mouth sounds like a siren's song. I want to hear it forever. "Whatever you were going to say, just know I could never hate you."

"Don't say that." Don't give me hope, because if you do it will get crushed. But then I realise that I told my mate, my dominant, what to do. Mate, mine, I gave... order... fuck, fuck, fuck, I can't, no no no no no no no... Please, sorry, mate, please, I didn't mean... I didn't want... Mate, sorry, sorry, sorry, so, so, so sorry, please, forgive, I didn't mean to... please... I can't, I can't breathe, I can't speak but I try because I just told my mate, my dom, mine, what to do, I gave him an order and I can't do that because I'm not allowed because he's my mate and my dom and I'm his sub and he will hate me now because I said the wrong thing and I have to say sorry but if I fuck up again he'll hate me more and I can't do that because he's my mate and I'm his sub and he has to like me because if he doesn't I'll die. I'll die.

But I don't. I don't, because suddenly his arms are around me, and I'm grounded again. I didn't realise I had sunk to the floor, or that my knees were tucked under my chin, or that my cheeks were wet and throat was sore. I didn't realise my mate was talking to me. And suddenly the fear comes back, because my mate was speaking and I wasn't listening, but then I hear what he's saying and it goes away again.

"Sh, sh, it's okay, you're okay. I'm not mad, I promise, I understand, I've got you, you're okay. You're so good, my mate, my sub, so good. I've got you, you're okay. Everything's alright, mate mine. Everything's alright." I take a shaky breath, willing myself to stop crying, and once my mate realises I'm calming down he pulls me into his lap, against his chest, and I let myself relax against it, ignoring the voice in the back of my mind telling me I can't get too close. Instead I inhale deep lungfuls of his scent, nuzzling my face against the scent gland in his neck, and let him stroke my hair.

"I'm s-sorry."

"Don't be."

"B-but I..." I stop myself, scared that if I remind him what I did he'll realise how bad it really was and be angry.

"It's okay, go ahead."

"I told you what to do."

"I know, it's okay. You're allowed to do that as long as you're polite about it."

"Really?"

"Really. You may be my sub, but you're not my slave. You get to keep your rights, okay? I'll have rules, but we can discuss those when we meet in person." I flinch, I can't help it. Because I know we can't meet in person, because then he'll know who I am. And he can't reject me. He just can't. He notices, of course he does, and stars running his hand through my hair, making me subconsciously relax almost completely. "Hey, it's okay. I'll find you soon, I promise." I realise he thinks I flinched because... well, I'm not entirely sure why, but I know he doesn't think I'm dreading our meeting. Which I suppose is good; I don't want to make him unhappy. In fact, I want to make him the happiest man alive. I want to make a nest for him and have his chicks and be there for him. I want to be his. But I can't. And it breaks my heart.


	12. Chapter 12

**Wednesday 2 September 1998**

**Harry**

I love my mate. I love him - because he is a him, that much is obvious from the mate dream - more than I thought was possible at all, let alone at this stage. I haven't even met him, I haven't marked him or seen his face or heard his voice. Merlin, I don't even know his name. But my sub is my whole world. He's just so good. When he thought he went wrong in the mate dream; told me to do something that I can't even remember now; he completely broke down. He wants to please me so much. He wants to be good for me, my good sub, my mate. I love him. I love him so much I could scream. I wish I could stay in the dream forever, stay with him forever, but we both have to wake up eventually.

When I do, it's to my whole body aching. I must have slept weirdly or something...

_No, it's because you need your mate, genius._

Damn right I do. I didn't realise it would be so painful so quickly, though. The aching isn't much, that being said, it's more than bearable, it just surprised me.

_Yeah, well, the more you care for your mate the more it will hurt to be without them. And you just went on a full rant about how much you love him so it's bound to hurt more than it should._

Okay, okay, fair enough. Why do you sound... irritable? You feel kind of annoyed, too. What's going on? You sigh.

_Sorry. I guess I'm kind of jealous. I can't meet our mate's creature, if he even has one, until you've had a couple more dreams, and I'm tired of waiting._

Right. I get that. After all, so am I. Tired of fucking waiting. I lie in bed for a while, revelling in the aftermath of the dream, and hoping the aching will fade. It doesn't; if anything, it gets worse the more I think about him. Eventually, I force myself out of bed, and cast a quick tempus. I groan. It's almost dinner, and the talk must be over by now. I'm not in the mood to go down to the great hall, so instead I head outside towards the forest. I figure I'll let you out and you can hunt for dinner.

_Fucking finally! Haven't hunted in forever!_

Once I reach the edge of the forest, I strip my clothes off and let you out, and get pushed to the back of our mind. You shake, wincing when the movement hurts slightly. Apparently the mate-pains affect you too.

Stick to the edges of the forest, that's where the non-magical creatures are, the stuff you'll be hunting. Deeper in there's stuff... stuff that'll bite back.

_Like what? Other wolves? You said that right?_

I was thinking more along the lines of acromantulas, but that too.

_Okay, right. Stay on the edge. Got it._

You sniff the air, and pretty immediately catch the scent of rabbit, bolting in the direction of it. I relax, letting you do your thing and simply watching as trees fly past and birds caw overhead. As you hunt, I let my thoughts stray to my mate. My mate, my sub, my whole heart. I didn't know it was possible to miss someone you've never met, but I do, dear Merlin I do. I miss him more than I need to breathe. And it's because of how much I miss him I don't realise how far in we are until it's too late.

_Got it!_ You exclaim, trapping the rabbit beneath your paws and looking up, becoming aware of our surroundings for the first time, and as you do, I do as well. It's dark, darker than it should be on the edge, the trees so close together that the leaves block out most of the sunlight. The sounds are different too; instead of birds chirping, an eerie silence hangs in the air, occasionally interrupted by a howl or the clacking of hooves. We're definitely not on the edge anymore. A jolt of fear burst through me as I remember what's in these woods and the damage they can do. Merlin, I almost got eaten by acromantulas in second year, and trampled to death by centaurs in fifth, and mauled by a werewolf in... I am a werewolf, for fuck's sake! I don't have to be scared of anything in these woods if I am the scariest thing in them! I need to pull myself together.

You're too busy mauling the rabbit to death to notice where we are, but once you've finished eating, your thoughts turn to shit shit shit...

_Uh, Harry? I think I might have gone a bit further in than I intended to..._

You think I hadn't noticed? Whatever, it's fine. I don't think we're anywhere near the acromantula lair, and there's nothing else in here that's much more dangerous than a werewolf. If we encounter centaurs, that might be a problem, but otherwise...

You suddenly stand up straighter and your ears perk up. There's something here. You scan our surroundings, and I think we realise at the same time that we're surrounded. By wolves, all of them dominant, even though only a few even come close to your size. Most of them are like us, inherited wolves who have transformed into true wolves, but there are some who are in human form, who I assume to be bitten wolves, untransformed as it's not the full moon. You crouch into a respectful position, ducking your head and flattening your ears, letting out a whimper. The biggest wolf, who is almost as big as you, who you inform me is the alpha of the pack, steps forward, growling. The wolf gives control to the human, and it shocks me how huge he is. He must be over 6'7", and his whole body is covered in muscles, and scars.

"Shift," he says, his voice harsh and gruff. You give me control, but I remain in the position you were in. "Who are you?"

"My name is Harry Potter. I'm a student at the school. My wolf was hunting, we didn't mean to come so far in, I'm sorry to impose on your territory."

"Stand." I do so, but keep my head ducked as a sign of respect. He looks me up and down, and I try not to flinch under his gaze. I may be respectful, but I'm not submissive. "I am Alpha Cal. We permit you in our forest, Rogue." I don't like that he called me Rogue, and neither do you, but he's not exactly wrong. It's true that I don't have a pack, beyond Re and Siri. But you need a minimum of five wolves to be a pack, and we have two wolves and an Animagus.

"Thank you, Alpha." He nods.

"You are powerful, no? Your magic is strong, and your wolf is large, especially as you are young. Not a pup, but barely past." It wasn't a complement, but an observation.

"I am, yes."

"When your schooling is up, at the end of the sixth month, you can join us, if you please." The offer takes me by surprise, and joy jolts through you at the thought of having a pack, enough that I almost say yes before I catch myself.

"Thank you for the offer, Alpha, but I have to refuse. I intend to find the pack of my parents. A wizard meddled in my life when I was a small pup, and I could not join them, hence my rogue status."

"In that case, I wish you luck. You are free to hunt with us at any time, if you wish. If you change your mind, let me know." I nod.

_Yes! Hunt with a pack, pack makes us stronger, better prey, work together, pack!_

"Thank you. I have to return to the castle, but I will be back tomorrow night. May I hunt with you then?"

"You may." He shifts back into his wolf, and I take it as a dismissal, giving you control. You nod to the Alpha, turn, and run back towards Hogwarts. Back at the edge of the trees, you give me control back and I put on the clothes I left there. I'm about to head back up when my name is called.

"Harry!" I turn, to see Neville and... Zabini?

"Hi, Nev. Zabini. What are..." my question tapers off as they get closer. I realise how close they're standing, and that one of Zabini's wings is shielding Neville's back, feathers soft on the side facing him and sharp on the other. And their scents, although unchanged, are mingled together so much I can't distinguish them. Add to the fact that I've never seen Neville smile so widely and Zabini is scowling at me when he didn't this morning. They're mates. "Congratulations," I say, and Neville's smile impossibly widens, a blush blooming on his cheeks.

"Thanks. Are you, um, heading back up to the castle?"

"Yeah. Just finished hunting. Met the wolf pack in the forest too. And I'm not even going to ask what you two were doing."

"Nothing! Well, I mean, not nothing, but, just, uh, talking, getting to know each other, and, yeah. I'll be shutting up now."

"You're adorable," Blaise says, pressing his lips to Neville's forehead.

"Stop it," Nev mumbles. We start heading up to the castle in silence, before Neville asks, "we have to go see McGonagall, right?" I groan. I had forgotten about that.

"Why?" Blaise asks.

"You weren't there, you were with Draco," I supply. "They told us after lunch, she wants to talk to us now."

_Draco is the sub, yes? You should ask about him, go see him if we can now? Make sure he is okay._

"Speaking of Draco, how is he?" I ask, not caring how weird I sound. After all, like Zabini said, he understands the need to protect him.

"He's been sleeping pretty much all afternoon. He's okay though, just worried."

"Do you think he would mind if I went to see him? It's just, my wolf hated seeing him like that, and won't shut up about making sure he's alright and safe." A _nd happy and relaxed and warm and comfortable and_ \- shut up, Eli.

"Yeah, I get you, but... I'm not sure if that's a good idea. He's pretty scared of everyone at the moment, especially doms, and considering your history..."

"I understand."

_I don't! What history? He's scared Harry, birdie just said he's scared, need to protect him, make him okay and happy. Go now, yes?_

No, Eli. He's scared of us, not in general.

_But... but why? Scared of us? No. No, no, no, no, no, that's not right. We protect him, he can't be scared of us!_

He doesn't know we want to protect him. But we're dom, he's sub, of course we do. That's how it works. He doesn't know that. He's confused.

_Oh. We make him unconfused?_

We can't do that. He has to do it himself. Or Zabini can, I guess. When we reach the castle, we split up.

"I need to give Draco the food I caught, it's why I was in the forest in the first place. I'll meet you up there." He gives Neville another forehead kiss. "Look after my mate, yeah Potter?"

"Wouldn't do anything else, Zabini." He leaves, headed to the dungeons, and I turned to Neville as we start walking. "So, what happened?"

"Well, I had my first mate dream last night, but it didn't really reveal anything, but then I was in the forest, to re-energise and everything, and Blaise flew above me, he was hunting I think, but then he kind of stopped when he saw me, or scented me I guess, and he flew down and... and... I found my mate, Harry!"

"I'm so happy for you, Neville." I am, I really am. But just because I'm happy doesn't mean I can't be jealous as well. I would give anything to find my mate, too.

"Ah, boys, take a seat," McGonagall says when we enter. Turns out we're the last ones there, bar Zabini.

"Blaise is just coming, Professor."

"Thank you, Mr Longbottom." I sit next to Morag MacDougal, a submissive Draconi from Ravenclaw that I don't think I've ever interacted with. She looks me in the eyes, and quickly looks away again when she realises I'm not her mate. Neville sits on the other side of me, saving the empty chair next to him for Blaise. He comes in shortly after, and I meet his eyes, silently asking if Draco's okay.

"Fine," he murmurs.

"Nice of you to join us, Mr Zabini." He shoots a grin at her, unperturbed by her comment, and sits down next to his mate, scooting the chair closer to wrap an arm around his waist. "Do you happen to know where Mr Malfoy is?"

"Draco won't be joining us. I will relay any important information to him later." McGonagall doesn't look happy, but wisely doesn't say anything.

"Well, then. As creatures, the rules will be slightly different for you this year. Firstly, as I know some of you have already taken advantage of, the Forbidden Forest is no longer forbidden. I will, however, urge you to enter with caution. Don't go believing your inheritances make you invincible. They don't. There's plenty a danger in those trees.

"There will also be no curfew, as I know many of you would like to utilise the hours when everyone else is asleep. You are permitted to do so, as long as you don't disturb the other students or abuse this privilege.

"Thirdly, your sleeping arrangements are flexible. If your inheritance clashes with another in your dorm, you are permitted to leave, and if any of you happen to find your mate this year, you are permitted to join them." She eyes up Neville and Zabini at this comment.

"Lastly, of course, any school rules that contradict your specific creature's laws do not apply. For example, many creatures permit extreme violence if defending your mate, and so the school rule against violence will be temporarily lifted if this is the case. I would, however, discourage the use of violence, and instead would encourage you to come to me if any of your classmates... offend you in anyway, and allow me to punish them appropriately.

"You are dismissed, thank you for coming to see me. Feel free to do so if you find yourselves needing anything." She nods, and we take it as our cue to leave her office. Zabini leans down to whisper something in Neville's ear, who blushes and nods, before letting himself be led away in the direction of the dungeons.

"Harry?" I turn to see Romilda Vane. I haven't paid that much attention to her if I'm being honest, but as another forest dweller, there's a possibility for us to be good friends. Besides, she's a sub, and doesn't have any dominant friends. She's probably looking for someone to look out for her. She really is pretty, especially after her inheritance. Her naturally clear skin is now a bright-forest green, bringing out her wide chocolate eyes. Her hair, which used to be curly and black, is now dark brown ringlets that fall down to her hips. Her ears, like Neville's, are delicately pointed, and her frame is delicate and curvy. She's certainly pretty, but not my type. Not my mate.

"Hi, Romilda. How are you?"

"Tired, mostly. It's draining not being near my forest." Dryads like Romilda have a specific tree to which they belong, and can only truly re-energise when in the forest to which that tree belongs.

"I can imagine."

"At least we have the Forbidden Forest. I don't know what I would do without it, really. And I've met a lot of nice dryads there, so that's a plus."

"There are dryads in the forest?"

"Yeah. They're mostly hamadryades, though, so I can't see myself being best friends with them."

"What's a hamadryade?"

"Oh, sorry. They're dryads that inhabit oak and poplar trees, and can only exist within the trees. They can't come out, like us."

"What type are you?"

"I'm an oreiade, like my mum. I have a pine tree."

"Right."

"So what's it like being a werewolf?" We continue our conversation until we reach the Gryffindor common room. It's not quite early enough to go to bed, so we collapse into chairs by the fireplace. "Have you met your mate yet?" she asks.

"No, I've had a couple of mate dreams though. What about you?" Her whole face lights up.

"He's a satyr. That tends to happen with dryads; we're compatible. But he's a bit older than us and lives in my forest. I really like him. I miss him though."

"I can imagine. I miss my mate and I haven't even met him."

"Do you think he's at Hogwarts?"

"I think he must be. My first mate dream was on the train, and I've had a couple since then. Thing is, werewolves can be mated to wizards as well, so he could literally be anyone."

"Millie!" Someone yells from across the room, and Romilda swivels in her chair and waves.

"I'll talk to you soon, yeah? Maybe we can go down to the forest together."

"I'd like that."

"I hope you find your mate soon." So do I.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> C/W: bullying

**Wednesday 2 September 1998**

**Draco**

When I wake up, the first thing I notice is that my mate-pains are worse, and the second is that you are sad. Almost unbearably so. What's wrong, Alex? You don't say anything, just whimper, and I can tell I'm not going to get a response out of you. The third is that I feel... different. Even more submissive than normal. Like being around my mate, even in a dream, has enhanced my already timid and obedient nature.

"You're awake." It's Blaise. He must've stayed with me whilst I slept. I nod. Like you, I don't feel like talking. "It's almost dinner. Do you want to go down to the hall?" I shake my head no. "You sure? I don't want you cooped up here forever." For a second I think he's unhappy with me, and it terrifies me. I must look like it too, because he immediately comforts me. "Hey, it's okay. You haven't done anything wrong. Stay as long as you need, but only need, okay?" I nod my head yes. "Good sub." I let out a chirp, and blush at the sound. "Mateo wants to hunt." Like birds of prey, which most Veela are related to, we need to hunt on a regular basis, particularly doms. "Do you mind if we catch something for you instead of grab something from the hall?" I shake my head no, I don't mind. "Okay. I'll be back in a while. Sure you don't want to come?" I nod, and he releases his wings and leaps out of the window.

I curl up in my makeshift nest, but I can't help but hate it. I didn't spend time on it, for one, and it's not the right shape at all. It's only made of my duvet and comforter as well, so only smells like me, when it should have something from everyone I care about. And a lot from my mate. It should scent more like him than me, and I hate that it doesn't. The worst thing, though, is that he's not in it. A nest is something to be shared, and alone it feels empty, making my mate-pains even worse, and making you even more upset.

Eventually I can't take it anymore and I need to get out. Not just of my 'nest', but of the dorm. It's suddenly become stifling in here. I find myself in the library. There are a couple of people clearing up, but it's mostly empty. I keep my head down, so focused on not drawing attention to myself that I don't even notice I have until shadows are cast over the table. I look up, careful not to make eye contact, and recognise three seventh year Gryffindors. I don't say anything, letting them speak first as a sign of respect they probably won't even recognise.

"Not so tough now, are you, you Death Eater piece of shit!" I wince, and you practically whither.

"Shouldn't be allowed to roam free after what you did. But I guess you're too pathetic to do anything now aren't you, submissive?"

"I..."

"Shut your mouth! You deserve to pay for what you and your family did!" I try to apologise, before realising he told me to be quiet. When he realises I'm not going to say anything, he punches me, and pain blossoms across my face. I rear back, trying to occupy as little space as possible, and involuntarily let out a loud whimper.

"Look how pathetic he is, can't even stand up for himself. Probably realised he fucking deserved it!"

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" A new voice. The Gryffindors turn, revealing a dominant fire elf. He's a Hufflepuff from my year, the one Blaise spoke to on the train. I think his name is Macmillan. And he looks angry. His eyes are a flaming red and there's flames on the tips of his fingers.

"Teaching this piece of shit a lesson that he should've learnt a long time ago."

"Well, if you don't fuck off, I'll shove that lesson so far up your arse you'll taste it."

"Oh yeah? I'd like to see you try." In one movement, Macmillan wraps his fist around the Gryffindor's neck and lifts him off the ground. The Gryffindor in question promptly starts struggling, clawing at Macmillan's hand, who refuses to let go. Knowing fire elves, that hand is probably scolding hot, and he'll have burn scars on his neck for years.

"Never, ever insult or hurt a sub, ever. Or you'll have me to answer to. Got it?" The Gryffindor makes a choking sound, which Macmillan apparently takes as confirmation, because he drops him and scowls as he and his friends scurries off. The fire elf turns to me, eyes melting from anger into sympathy. He doesn't touch me, and I'm glad. I don't think I could handle a dom touching me right now; I'd probably end up falling at his feet. "Are you alright?" I nod, not looking up, in case he's my mate, but he doesn't like that. "Look at me, Draco." My head lifts up of its own accord, and I make eye contact with the Hufflepuff. I breathe a sigh of relief; he's not my mate. He searches my eyes, for what I don't know, but apparently whatever he finds is satisfactory, as he nods. "I have a right mind to rip their heads off. If you had been my mate... fuck, I don't know what I'd do. Is your mate in the castle?" I shake my head no, even though they probably are. "You want to head back to your common room?" I nod, hoping to Salazar that he'll take me. "Come on, then. I'm sure you don't want to be alone after that."

_Say something. He'll think we're rude._

"Th-thank y-y-you." My voice is quiet, and it's probably only due to creature hearing that he hears me. He smiles down at me.

"You're welcome. Bastards deserved it, and more. Hurting a sub like that..." his eyes grow angry again, a fire beginning to burn in them.

"I d-deserved it." He growls, and I can't help but flinch.

"Sorry, but no, you don't. No one deserves to be bullied, especially subs." I nod, but I don't believe him. I don't want to object, though; what if bringing up my Death Eater status reminds him of how awful I was, and he gets angry and hurts me? There's very few people in the halls, and I'm glad. I couldn't deal with the stares right now. And I don't want what happened in the library to happen again, ever.

_I don't understand why they were so mean._

That's what I've been trying to tell you, 'Lex. Everyone hates me, but no one did anything because they were scared of me. And now they're not, so they can hurt me all they like. Do you understand?

_But... but our mate can't hate us. We were made for him. He can't!_

He probably will, Alex. I'm so sorry. But he'll hate me, and if he finds me he'll reject me. I feel your understanding, and the intense sorrow that comes with it. Now you're even worse than before, and I feel even worse for having upset you. But it's the truth, and it's time you accepted it. Eventually Macmillan and I reach the entrance to the common room.

"You sure you're okay?"

"F-fine." A lie. "Th-thank you. Again."

"The least I could do. I'll see you soon, Draco." He leaves, and I scurry back into my dorm. I curl up in my make-shift nest, trying to imagine it's adequate. Trying to picture my mate curled up with me, his arms around me and my head on his chest.

After a while, Blaise returns. His scent is different. It's lighter, sweeter. The scent of happiness. And it's mingled with another that seems to perfectly compliment Blaise's. He's found his mate.

"Draco, guess what!" He's obviously over the moon, and I don't want to ruin that, so I don't tell him about my escapade to the library. I let him gush about his newly found mate - Neville Longbottom, of all people - and give me what he caught on his hunt, then go on to talk about how McGonagall wants to talk to all of us with creature inheritances.

"Do... do I have to come?" I really don't feel like leaving my 'nest' right now. I especially don't feel like leaving it to be in a room surrounded by dominants I don't know.

"Not if you feel like you can't. I can just tell you what she says, I'm sure she'll understand. Listen, Dray, I should get going, I've left Neville with Potter, but-"

"Potter?" I cut him off. "Harry Potter?"

"Do we know any other Potters?"

"Yeah, but... he has an inheritance?"

"Did you not see him go up this morning?"

"Wasn't paying attention. What is he?"

"A werewolf. A dom." Of course he fucking is. The one person who probably, understandably, hates me the most is in a prime position to... I don't know what. Hurt me, humiliate me, ruin me. Salazar, what the fuck am I meant to do? Unlike me, he was probably paying attention this morning, and saw me go up. Harry fucking Potter knows I'm a sub, and a pathetic, whimpering, scared one at that, and he's a dominant. Blaise can see the fear in my eyes, or smells the change in my scent, because he says, "Potter won't abuse his dominance, if that's what you're scared of. You should have seen him, all he could talk about was you after he saw you run out of the hall this morning. 'Is Draco okay, have you seen Draco, how is he, do you think I should check on him?' Literally, he is one of the most obnoxiously chivalrous guys ever."

"He was worried about me?" You chirp happily at the thought of a dominant being concerned for me, us.

"Almost more than I was. He's different, Draco. He doesn't care about your past, all he knows is that you're a sub and it's his job to protect you. Trust me, aside from myself, he is the least likely to hurt you." It reassures me somewhat, I no longer feel terrified at least, but I can't help but feel sceptical. I know for a fact that Potter hates me, and to be honest, I don't blame him. So why would he be worried about me? I just don't understand. "I should get back. I don't like leaving my mate so long. I'll see you in a bit, okay? Shouldn't take too long."

"Bye." And then he leaves, and I am alone.


	14. Chapter 14

**Saturday 12 September 1998**

**Harry**

The first two weeks of school go by in a blur. Lessons have become almost ridiculously hard (transfiguration with the new teacher, Professor Byrd; herbology with Sprout; charms with Flitwick; potions with Slughorn; and defence with the new Professor Trengove). The new teachers are pretty good; although Byrd doesn't measure up to McGonagall and gives obscene amounts of work, Trengove is one of the best defence teachers we've had. Not as good as Re, obviously, but better than anyone else.

More importantly, I've had seven more mate dreams, during which my mate seemed equally as reluctant to interact with me as before. And every morning, I've woken up in more and more pain. However, this morning you appear to be deliriously happy.

_I met him!_

What?

_Our mate's creature, I met him! He's wonderful, Harry, the best mate I could ask for; he's really shy and timid and adorable and he's super submissive but in the best way possible and he fits perfectly into my arms and I think I love him already, I really do, and-_

Woah, slow down. You met his creature, so does that mean he's not a regular wizard?

_No, he has to have had an inheritance, or be a bitten wolf or something like that._

So what creature was he?

_I_ _don't know, I... I can't remember. But his name is Alex, and he's beautiful._

What does he look like? You're silent for a while, trying to remember. I realise that whilst the dreams restrict me from finding out too much about my mate, they simply make you forget. And you feel upset about that.

_Why can't I remember? I love him more than anything else in the world, and I can't even remember what he looks like? What kind of a mate am I if I don't-_

Stop. It's not your fault, it's a side effect of the dreams. That's what's making you forget, not you.

_Really? You're sure?_

Fairly. It would make sense; the mate dreams don't let me learn anything about him, revealing one thing at a time. If you remembered what he looked like, it would kind of defeat the purpose.

_Right, okay. That does makes sense. Still, I wish I could remember. He is gorgeous, though, I remember that much._

Exactly. Plus, even if we don't know what he looks like, it's still narrowed down! There are only a few male subs in the school-

_He's not necessarily in the school. There are creatures in the forest, too, remember? We've met the wolves, and there'll be loads more forest dwellers: forest lords, nature elves, dryads, water spirits, satyrs... and that's not even counting those in the Great Lake-_

Okay, okay. I was wrong, I get it. Shit. What are we going to do?

_We could go down to the forest? The Alpha said we could hunt with the pack, and if he belongs to the pack..._

They won't start hunting until sundown, idiot. There's no point in going down until then, and besides, I've got work to do today. I left all my homework until this weekend, and now I have heaps of it. Just because I'm a werewolf doesn't mean I don't take my N.E.W.T.s.

_Do your exams really matter?_

If I don't get good grades I won't get a job. How will I provide for our mate then? You groan, but agree, so I get changed and head down to the common room to get started on a transfiguration essay. After thirty minutes or so, Hermione comes down and after telling her about your mate dream, we start working on the essay together. I know I say it a lot, but thank Merlin for Hermione. Half my essay would be wrong if she hadn't helped. By the time lunch roles around, I'm starving and the mate pains have got worse even since this morning. It's still not sharp pains yet; some people go years without their mate and have to cope; but every breath I take makes my chest ache.

I head up to the dorms to get Ron, who, surprise surprise, is still sleeping. I wake him up, wait for him to get ready (which for Ron is just shrugging on some casual robes) and we head down to the great hall. Half way there, we meet Zabini and Nev.

"Harry! Where have you been?"

"Catching up on work. Can't believe Byrd set us such a hard essay second week back, Merlin."

"Ugh," Zabini groans, "don't remind me. Still haven't even started that."

_You should ask about his sub friend. Draco?_

Yeah.

Make sure he's okay. You're a bit obsessed with him, aren't you? You huff, your pride wounded. But you're kind of right anyway.

"Hey, Zabini, is Draco okay?"

"He's fine. Still... you know, but fine."

_Ask to see him. Need to make sure sub's okay._

"Still think he wouldn't want to see me?" Zabini sighs. What does that mean? Is that bad?

"He doesn't want to, but I'm starting to think maybe he needs to. I don't know."

"What do you mean?" I probably sound more panicked than I should. I find I don't particularly care.

"I get that he's scared, I understand why. I thought he just needed time, but now I'm not so sure. It doesn't seem like he even wants to find his mate; I didn't even know he was having mate dreams until his Veela told me this morning. He's paranoid that everyone still hates him, that any dom is going to abuse their power over him. Sometimes I think seeing you would actually be good for him."

_Don't hate him, no, have to help, poor, poor sub, make him happy, need to make sub okay._

"So should I go see him?" Blaise looks to Neville.

"I think you should, but not without telling him." Neville says. "It might be too much if you burst in with no warning. Maybe tomorrow, after breakfast?"

_Yes! Tomorrow, good, can see sub, make sure sub's okay, that's good, say yes._

"Okay, I can do that." I grin.

Tomorrow.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex POV this time! Enjoy...

**Friday 11 September 1998**

**Alex**

I need him, I need him, I need him. I need him so much it hurts. Draco, please, please, I can't do this, I need him.

 _Let me sleep!_ You yell. I don't like it when you yell.

Sorry, sorry, I just, please, please, I need him. I need my mate. Draco, please!

_For Salazar's sake, shut up! I understand, you need him, you love him, but it's 3am and I'm tired!_

Sorry, sorry. It's my fault, I know it's my fault, I'm sorry, Draco, sorry, sorry. I try to be quiet, I try not to let you hear me, I don't like it when you're unhappy, especially because of me, but we have the same brain and I can't help that my thoughts are too loud because I need him!

_'Lex, please. I'm never going to get to sleep if you keep yelling. And if I don't sleep, I won't have a mate dream, and it will take even longer for you to get to see him. So please, be quiet!_

But... I want to see my mate now, I don't want to wait!

_Well, you might get to if I can sleep._

Sleep, yes, that's good. Sleep brings mate dreams. Go to sleep, Draco.

I can move. It's like you've given me control, but you're not here. I realise I'm not in your body - because I'm shorter and more delicate and more Veela - I'm in my own. I'm in a mate dream. Immediately I look around for him, searching the empty space, until I hear a voice from behind me.

"Mate." I spin, and finally, finally, lay eyes on my mate. He's tall - so tall - and strong and toned, so much that his body is almost scary, but his face is so happy; he's beaming, showing fangs that could rip me in half but all I can think of them doing is marking me all over, and his eyes - a thousand different greens - are wide and shine with pure joy. Because of me. My body feels like it's being pulled towards him, so I run to him and practically collapse at his feet, looking up at him through my eyelashes in the most submissive manner I can manage. I want so desperately for him to like me. "Look at you," he says, voice growling and deep and I want to wrap it around me like a blanket. He crouches down, and cups my cheek with his palm. I whine, leaning into his touch. His hand is rough and warm and I never want him to stop touching me. "My mate, my sub. What is your name, my love?"

"Alex."

"Alex," he repeats, and I watch my name form on his lips and shiver. "My name is Eli. And you, 'Lexie, are the most beautiful creature I've ever seen." I practically melt at his words, feeling all my muscles relax at once at his praise- my mate's praise.

"Thank you, mate," I whisper, not wanting to make him mad by speaking out of turn, but also not wanting to seem ungrateful. The hand at my cheek moves to the nape of my neck, whilst the other wraps around my waist to pull me against him. He buries his face into the crook of my neck, where my scent glands are, and inhales deeply, taking in my scent. The way his nose brushes against such a sensitive spot almost makes me moan, and to stop myself I return the favour and push my face against his own scent gland. But it has the reverse affect as a moan falls out of my mouth at his scent. He smells like home. I can feel his breath on my neck and the warmth of his skin through my clothes. Without my consent, my body moves so I'm on his lap, curled into his chest which rumbles in content. He wraps his arms tight around me, rubbing his cheek over mine to get his scent on me and vice versa. Because even though it won't permeate through to the waking world, I will be his if only for a few moments. And he will be mine.

"Look at me, my love." I withdraw from his chest, but can't bring myself to meet his eyes. It feels too much like disrespect. He places a hand under my chin, tilting my head up, but I shut my eyes. I can't be rude, especially not to him, my mate, my dominant. But then, to my shock, I feel the gentle graze of lips against my closed eyelids, making me gasp. "Open your eyes, darling. I want you to look at me." I do so, the command overriding any unspoken rule, and let my blue-grey eyes meet his sparkling green ones. "You are so beautiful, 'Lexie," he says, cupping my cheek again, making my whole body sway towards him. "Look at you, my beautiful mate, my sub."

"Eli," I murmur, letting my appreciation show through the name.

"I love how you say my name, mate mine. When we meet in person, I'll make sure it's the only name on your tongue."

"I'll never even think another again." A smile lights up his face, and all I can think is that I made my mate happy. I've done what I was put on this earth to do. I've accomplished the greatest feat ever. I have brought the most important person in the world joy. And it's all I wish to do for all eternity.

But then I wake up.

I can't help but take control and push you to the back of our mind. I'm too much right now.

_Alex?_

Sorry, Draco! Met mate, Eli, perfect. Love him. Love my mate, my dom.

_No. No!_

You're... sad. Frustrated. Scared. Why?

_We... I can't get closer. We're too close. I can't be rejected, I can't, I won't-_

No, no, not rejected. Never. Eli loves me.

 _He may love you, but not me. No one could love me_.

I want to reply, say no, I love you, and so will our mate, but Blaise interrupts.

"Alex?" I whip my head round, thoughts of rejection out of my mind. There is an dominant here, how could I forget? Immediately I scramble to his feet. He's not my mate, but respect is for all. "What's going on? Is Draco okay?" I nod, not wanting to speak without his permission. If I make him angry, he might tell my mate, my Eli, I'm bad. And then Blaise's mate, the nature elf, is kneeling beside me, and Blaise is gone, as well as the others in the dorm.

"I'm Neville," he says, and his voice is soft.

"Alex."

"It's nice to meet you."

"You too."

"You had a mate dream?"

"How did you know?"

"You can't stop smiling. What else is there to be smiling about when you just wake up?"

"You're right. It wasn't Draco's first one, but it was mine."

"What's he like?"

"Perfect. He's caring, and protective - in the best way - and his arms wrapped around me perfectly, and he called me beautiful, and when he wanted me to look at him he kissed my eyes so I would open them, and he's warm, and he called me 'Lexie, and I love him, I really really love him."

"That's so great, Alex! He sounds perfect for you." I blush. "I bet Draco's really happy too." That makes me frown. Because you're not. I realise I've been blocking you out, and when I stop your thoughts rush in like water through a hole in a dam.

_Why are you telling him, stop talking, shut up! He'll expect us to find him, we can't find him, Alex, we can't, he'll reject us, stop talking!_

"What's wrong?" That's when you force your way to the front, pushing me back. You pull away from the kind elf, and press the heels of your hands against your eyes.

"I don't want to talk about this anymore." Neville frowns, but says nothing.

"Are you hungry? It's time for breakfast."

"I don't want to go down to the hall. Too many people."

"That's okay. Do you want me to bring you something up?"

"Y-yes please. Come alone, though?"

"Are you sure? Draco, I hate to break it to you, but if you never leave the dorm you're not going to meet your mate." Exactly. "Maybe I could bring Harry up, just to see? I know he's having mate dreams too, maybe..." Harry?

"No!"

"Why not?"

"Sorry. I... please, don't bring Potter. Or anyone. I can't stomach seeing a dom other than Blaise, in case he's not my mate. I was trained badly, so it's just a bit much..." The kind elf's gaze softens.

"It's okay, I understand. I'm going to head down, I'll see you later, Draco."

"Bye, Neville. Thank you for being so nice to me. You didn't have to do that. I know I... didn't exactly make your life easy before... everything."

"All's forgiven. And not just by me." And he's gone. I want to meet the boy he was talking about.

_Who, Potter? No, we can't. Not him, he hates me._

But I remember Blaise talking about him before. He said he wouldn't hurt us, he doesn't hate you.

_Blaise can't see inside Potter's head. I wouldn't be surprised if Potter tricked Blaise just to get to me. To hurt me._

No. He's a dom. Doms don't hurt subs.

_But I hurt him. He deserves to hurt me back._


	16. Chapter 16

**Saturday 12 September 1998**

**Harry**

You meet Alpha Cal's wolf, Sam, outside their den at sundown. He nods to you, and you return the gesture. Over the course of the past few nights, I think you've earned respect in the pack. Last night you took down a whole deer by yourself, which was pretty impressive.

_Why thank you._

Shut up, you tosser, don't go and get cocky.

_Insert penis joke here._

You're a child and I have no idea why you deserve any semblance of respect.

Anyway, you and the pack hunters head out. The hunters are mostly inherited wolves, as we can transform at will and it's much easier to hunt in wolf form, but there are a few bitten wolves, which is kind of surprising. They must be pretty vicious to be accepted as a hunter in human form. But I guess there are people like Fenrir Greyback who are completely savage, wolf form or no. One of the betas seems to catch a scent, and takes of northwards, so the rest of the pack follow.

Being part of a pack, even for a few hours, is one of the best things ever. Especially for me, when my only family is the Dursleys. Needless to say, we didn't exactly have the close-knit pack dynamic. I did have Ron and Hermione, but it's not exactly the same. We were - are - as close as friends could be, but friends aren't pack-mates, and wolves are close in a way that humans with their societal rules and social roles can never be. I know you like being in a pack too, even more than me. I'm used to just acting like a human - I'm the human part of us after all - but you're designed to function best in a pack. It would go against your nature if we were alone. It's why Rogues have such a bad reputation; their wolves go crazy after too long without a pack. The Hogwarts pack is as welcoming as they could be. We could never be fully accepted; we don't have a status or a developed mind-link. I didn't even know what a mind-link was until I questioned how the pack could hunt so well together during the hunt without being able to communicate. Turns out they can communicate; the mind-link allows wolves in the same pack to convey basic ideas and emotions to each other. They can't properly talk, but it gets the point across. Of course, I'm still technically a Rogue, and can't have that.

After the hunt, we head back to the den, and I have to address the main reason for me coming down tonight- I want to ask about my mate. They could be in this pack, but I would never know if I only met the hunters, who are all dominant. You almost push me to the front, eager to see if our mate is here. Alpha Cal notices I've transformed and does the same.

"Everything alright?"

"Yeah. Thanks again, for letting us hunt with you."

"It's no problem. You're a good hunter."

"Thanks. Um, I was wondering... I've been having mate dreams, and I'm pretty sure he's at Hogwarts. I was just wondering..."

"You want to check if he's in the pack?"

"Exactly. Would that be okay?"

"Normally I wouldn't allow it, but I want to trust you. But if you hurt a single one of my pack members, you won't leave this forest."

"I understand. Thank you for trusting me." He nods and heads into the den. I take that as a signal to follow.

The first thing I notice is the sheer number of people. The den is in a large clearing, shielded with boulders and ferns that cut it off from the rest of the forest. In the centre is what appears to be a fighting ring, where two dominants face-off currently. From the outside it looks vicious, but neither appear hurt and both are grinning. In one corner there's a pile of food, some of which has just been caught. There's a fire burning next to it, the only light in the den apart from the rising moon. But everywhere, everywhere, is people. Some are in human form, some have given their wolf control, but they're everywhere. Some of the subs have made nests, where they huddle with their pups and doms. Groups of people sit talking, but they're close, some on each other's laps and others with arms wrapped around another. People come to greet the Alpha as we walk in. People turn when they scent me, an apparent rogue, but relax when they see I'm with the alpha because they trust him. People play with their pups, and pups play with each other. There are people, wolves, everywhere. And each and every one of them looks happy. All I can think is that I can't wait until I have a pack. The more I gaze in astonishment, the more I notice that there are some people who aren't wolves. There are a few dryads, some nature elves, a Veela. And each non-wolf has a wolf - their mate - wrapped around them.

"Cal!" A submissive female runs up to us and throws her arms around the alpha, who hugs her back tightly.

"I missed you, love."

"I missed you, too. You shouldn't hunt for so long." He gives a noncommittal chuckle and pulls away from her.

"This is my mate, the pack's Luna, Wendy. Love, this is Harry. He's looking for his mate. He goes to school in the castle."

"Welcome to our den! Feel free to look around for your mate. I hope you find them." I smile at her. She seems friendly, like a good Luna.

"So do I." It feels awkward, having to go up to people just to look them in the eyes and walk away, but the other wolves don't seem to feel it. Apparently, to them, it's obvious what I'm doing. So I spend almost two hours meeting the submissive, unmated males, trying to find mine. But the thing is, I know, somewhere, deep down, that I'm not going to find my mate here. Maybe its the scent, or lack of, I suppose; or maybe because I already feel disappointed. And I know that around my mate, I could never feel anything negative. So really, I know he's not here. But I still look. In fact, I draw it out as long as possible, because I don't want to face the knowledge that finding my mate, the one thing I want to do more than anything else, will take even longer, be even harder. But eventually, I do face this fact, thank the alpha and Luna and head back to the castle. Because really, it doesn't matter how long or hard it is. As long as I do find my mate, whatever hardships I go through to get there will all be worth it.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> C/W: mild panic

**Sunday 13 September 1998**

**Draco**

I've barely left the dorm in two weeks, only for about four hours a day for classes, and even then I kept my head down and didn't speak. The couple of times that I found myself alone in the corridors, some idiot seventh years always found me. The first time they broke my arm, the second I'm pretty sure I fractured a rib, but I've become good at the episkey charm since the dark lord lived in my house, and managed fixed it before Blaise found out. Merlin knows what he would do. And you're constantly... sad, I don't know.

_Sad, scared, angry, excited, sad, sad, sad. Want my mate, Dray._

But it's okay. I'm okay. I don't need my mate. I don't need anyone, apart from maybe Blaise. Everything is okay.

"Draco, I'm bringing Potter up to the dorm to see you."

Everything is not okay.

"What?"

"I think it would be good for you. You need to understand that if not everyone, dominants want to help you. You need to find your mate, Draco."

_Yes!_

"No!" No, no, no, no. I can't see Potter. I can't, I can't do it. I won't. "Please, no."

"Draco." It's his dominant voice. And I don't know what to do because I can't say no, I can't, he'll hate me. But I can't see Potter, because he'll hurt me and I can't be hurt anymore.

"Please." I think I'm crying.

"Draco." His voice is sad now. "I won't let anything bad happen to you, you know that. He won't hurt you. Just please see him, talk to him. You'll see that not everyone hates you, that doms want to help you."

"Please."

"Draco, I want you to see him."

"Okay." Because I can't say no. 

I haven't seen Potter since my trial, over four months ago now and before either of us got our inheritances. But I can tell, even before he enters the room, that he's different. He's dominant, I knew that; I could've guessed even if I didn't. But he's really dominant. He makes Blaise look like a kitten. I can tell just from their scents; Potter's overwhelms Blaise and Neville's almost entirely, and it's overpowering. As soon as I smell it I'm on my knees, head bowed, waiting, without a thought. A low whine echoes throughout the room and I realise I made it. You are a mess. You're squealing so loud it's giving me a headache, just at his faint scent. He's not even close enough to hear yet, probably not even in the common room, and you're quivering in the back of my mind, whimpering. What's wrong with you? You don't respond. Are you okay? The only recognition I get is your excited giggle. Okay...

When they get closer, I can actually distinguish Potter's scent. I recognise it distinctly from somewhere, but I don't know where. It smells strong, powerful, a bit musky. There's something piney there, salty, ashy. He smells good. And a bit like wet dog, but what else can you expect from a werewolf? And then there's the scent of dominance, layered over everything like fog. It's stronger than I've smelt on anyone, and the closer it gets the more submissive I feel, until they're practically outside the door and I'm shaking, eyes squeezed shut, whimpering softly, but for some inexplicable reason I'm praying for him to just open the door and hold me and tell me how good I am.

"You okay?" Blaise asks, not to me, to someone else, but I don't know why.

"Don't patronise me." It's Potter's voice, but it's so not. This Potter's, werewolf Potter's, voice is deep and sultry. Rough and commanding, but also calming.

"Sure, sorry. We'll be here." And the door opens. I hear Potter's intake of breath as he takes me in. I don't look up though, I can't look at him.

"Draco." My name comes out as an exhale, and I don't think he's ever called me by my first name before. The way my name sounds on his tongue makes me shiver. He takes a step towards me, and I flinch reflexively. He could hurt me so easily if he wanted to. In the blink of an eye he could have my on my back and bleeding. "You don't need to be scared of me, Draco. I won't ever hurt you." Bullshit. He's in a perfect position to, and why shouldn't he? I haven't given him any reason not to. He probably sees the doubt on my face because he says, "I know we don't get along, and we've both done stupid stuff. But I forgive you, Draco. I don't hold any grudges against you, and I certainly don't want to hurt you for anything you did. It wasn't your fault." I don't speak. He's lying, I know he is. What I did isn't something that can just be forgiven like that. He's most likely trying to gain my trust and abuse it.

_No, no, Draco, no. Look at him, look at him!_

He takes another step towards me, and I flinch reflexively again, so much I almost fall over. All I want is to scramble behind my bed and hide, but I can't, I can't.

"It's okay, Draco." No, no, no. It's most certainly not okay. "I won't hurt you, I won't." The tone in his voice is forceful, the words almost a growl. He's angry, Merlin, I made him angry. "Are you okay?" I don't reply. "Talk to me, Draco."

"I- I..." the word flies out of my mouth, trying desperately to obey his order, but not knowing what to say.

"Are you scared of me?"

"Yes." My voice is small.

"Why?"

"B-because, because you're a dom, and you h-hate m-me, and..."

"I don't hate you."

_He doesn't! He doesn't! Look at him, Draco!_

"Why?" "I've told you, I forgive you. Draco, look at me. Look at me and tell me I'm lying." No, no, I can't look a dom in the eyes, I can't, no. "Draco, please, I'm asking you to look at me." But I have to. I raise my head, slowly, to meet his eyes. They're so green. I didn't even know green could be that vivid. And something just clicks. No. No, no, no, no, no! It can't be, it can't, no, not now I can't deal with rejection now, no, no, no, please... "Mate. Draco, you're my mate, my sub." His voice is quiet. He's angry, I know, he doesn't want me, he's going to reject me. No, no, please, I can't. "Draco..." he starts walking towards me, and I don't want him to physically hurt me as well, so I jump to my feet and back away until my back hits the window. The window! I can leave now, and he can't reject me! So I open the window and spread my wings. "Wait, Draco, please stop..."

I jump.


	18. Chapter 18

**Sunday 13 September 1998**

**Harry**

The day after not finding my mate in the pack, I can't help but be slightly down. Whatever little expectations there were, they were still there. And they were still dashed. It doesn't help that my mate pains have officially turned from annoying to painful. There's a constant throbbing at the base of my head, and my muscles ache the more I use them. Occasionally, my skin starts burning, but after a while, it fades away. I wonder if it's when I get close to my mate. I try to chase it sometimes but never get anywhere. I'm at breakfast, staring at a full plate and decidedly not listening to Ron and Hermione bickering, whilst instead watching Romilda Vane do a very similar thing across the table. I realise that it must be even worse for her than it is for me. She has met her mate, and after all, missing someone you know and love with all your heart is far worse than missing someone you've never met. The realisation does nothing to make me feel better. I don't think anything could at this point, aside from finally meeting my mate.

Someone places a hand on my shoulder, and instinctively I turn and growl at them, teeth bared, until I see it's Neville, and he practically collapses back into Zabini's chest, who growls at me almost harsher than I did.

"Shit, sorry Nev. I'm just jumpy. You alright?"

"Y-yeah. Sorry for not announcing myself, I should've done that. Sorry." Zabini caresses Neville's upper arm, soothing him, whilst glaring at me. "Anyway," Nev continues. "We've just finished eating, so when you're ready we can go up to see Draco." I'm confused for a moment, and then I remember. Yesterday they said I could talk to Draco, make sure he's okay! I practically leap up from my chair.

"I'm ready, whenever, let's go now." Zabini chuckles.

"Eager, much?" I growl at him, half playfully, half not.

_We're going to talk to the Veela sub? Now?_

Yep!

_Finally! Hurry, quicker, make sure sub is okay! Go, go, go!_

You get more and more frantic the closer we get to the dungeons, and it's all I can do not to snap at Nev and Zabini to hurry the fuck up, for crying out loud! Finally, finally, we arrive at the entrance to the Slytherin dorm. And suddenly, all the scents around me seem to fade away until they're focused on one, specific scent. I know that scent, I know that I do, I would recognise it anywhere. It's sweet and warm and fresh and so, so submissive. My mate. Mate, mate, mate, mate, mate, mate!

_Mate is in there! Go, go, go! Faster!_

I have to force you to the back of my mind to stop you from taking over, and even that is almost too much to think about. Because my mate could be in this room. I practically push Nev and Zabini out of the way, rushing into the common room and scanning it. Several heads look up, confused, but I don't care, and neither do you. I keep looking around, and feel my heart sink with every passing second I don't find him. Where is my mate?

"What's going on?" It's Zabini.

"I thought... I smell my mate, he's in here, but... I don't know where." Zabini and Nev are grinning, and I growl at them, loudly. "This isn't funny! Where is my mate?"

"Harry, think about this. Your mate is in the Slytherin common room. There are only two people with inheritances in Slytherin, and one of them is my mate."

"What do you... Draco?" Oh, Merlin. I can't believe... Draco is my mate. Of course he is, how could I be so stupid, I feel so protective over him and you are obsessed with him, and he's just as submissive as my mate is, and... and no wonder he would act like that! Draco thinks everyone hates him, he's probably terrified I would reject him, whoever I was, net alone me, he probably thinks I hate him! But it's Draco. Not the Draco I knew, not the one who teased me and picked on my friends, but the Draco who saved my life at Malfoy Manor, who would give his life for his mother's, the Draco who went up scared and shy to stand as a submissive Veela in front of the school. Draco with his porcelain skin and sunshine hair. Draco who sat at my feet in my dreams, who collapsed into my arms, who smells like home. Draco my submissive. Draco my mate.

"You're grinning, Potter. Quite maniacally, I might add."

"Shut up, Zabini. I have to go."

"Wait, Harry, just... Be careful. You know how he is, he... he's terrified."

"Then I'll help him. He's my mate, Neville!"

"I know, I know, but he... he thinks you're going to reject him." He sees the look on my face. "I know you won't, you would never, but he doesn't know that. And Harry... there's a chance he might reject you before you get the chance to do the same to him." What? No, no, no. I need my mate, I... He can't reject me. He can't. He's mine. You're whining in my head, so loud I'm surprised no one else can hear you. I realise that the room is completely silent. Everyone is watching us. I can't bring myself to care. Because my mate cannot reject me.

"He... he wouldn't. He can't."

"There's a chance he won't, but you have to tread lightly. You can't just go in there and expect everything to be perfect."

"Then what do I do?"

"Just... don't rush in all excited like you want to. Careful, quiet, and calm, okay?"

"Fine, fine. I can do this. He won't reject me, he won't." I don't know who I'm trying to convince.

We head up the stairs to the dorms, and almost immediately chatter begins in the room behind us. I want to turn back and hurt them all, but I keep going. Towards my mate, my Draco, who will not reject me. Whose scent is getting stronger, so strong it's becoming harder to restrain you from taking control and marking him here and now.

"You okay?" Zabini says once we're outside the door, and it's all I can do not to bite his head off.

"Don't patronise me."

"Sure, sorry." He seems to realise how on edge I am. In the back of my mind, I'm thankful. "We'll be here." In case the worse happens, are the silent words. In case you're rejected. I don't reply. I go in.

I can't help but gasp. He is... gorgeous doesn't even begin to describe my mate. I haven't seen him up close, not since... Merlin, not since before the battle, when we were imprisoned at the manor. I never realised how stunning he was. And maybe it's the inheritance or the mate attraction, but fucking hell, now he's even more so. He's the most beautiful creature I've ever seen. He sits in the perfect submissive position, kneeling, hands tucked over his lap, head bowed so layers of silky white-blonde hair fall over delicate, porcelain features. His wings are folded gently behind him, and I had seen them before, in the hall, but not up close. They're a pearly grey, each feather long and soft and practically begging my hands to run through them. My mate.

"Draco." His name is a sigh from my lips, and I want to taste it forever in my mouth. I step towards him, wanting, needing more of him, needing the touch of his skin on mine, his curves under my hands, his lips against mine, his hair threaded through my fingers, my scent on him, mingled with his inextricably forever. I need my mate. But he flinches away from me, and I feel my heart snap in two. He's scared of me. My mate thinks I would hurt him. My mate. "You don't need to be scared of me, Draco. I won't ever hurt you." He doesn't know the truth of those words. He doesn't move. I realise he doesn't believe me. Fuck, fuck, fuck. "I know we don't get along, and we've both done stupid stuff." What the fuck am I saying? I'm talking to my mate like I'm formulating a tentative end to a petty fight between children. "But I forgive you Draco." I more than forgive you. I just don't know if I can forgive myself. Fuck, I hurt my mate. My sub. "I don't hold any grudges against you, and I certainly don't want to hurt you for anything you did." Instead, I want to hold you in my arms and never let you go. "It wasn't your fault." I don't know what I expect, but whatever it is, it doesn't. He doesn't say anything, doesn't move. Fuck, I don't know what I'll do if he doesn't believe me. I take another step towards him, because if I get closer, if he sees me... but he flinches again, even more, this time. "It's okay, Draco. I won't hurt you, I won't." I can't help but feel almost angry at the prospect. He is my mate, my sub. I shouldn't have to tell him I won't hurt him, I'd rather die. But I didn't mean to show that emotion in my tone. He starts practically shaking, ducking his head further down, tapping a finger against the palm of his hand. He's scared of me. "Are you okay?" He can't be scared of me. "Talk to me, Draco."

"I- I..." One stuttered word. I never knew that something that simple could practically send me to my knees. His voice is so different. I haven't heard it in a mate dream yet, and I can't believe how different he sounds. How much I would do just to hear his voice again.

"Are you scared of me?" I ask when he doesn't say anything else.

"Yes." I feel part of me die.

"Why?" What have I done? What can I do to make it better?

"B-Because, because you're a dom, and you h-hate m-me, and..." No, no, no, no, no.

"I don't hate you." I want to say it a million times. However many times it takes to sink in. Because I cannot have my mate thinking I hate him.

"Why?"

"I've told you, I forgive you." Nothing. "Draco, look at me." Because if he looks at me, he'll understand. If he looks at me, he'll know he's my mate. And I'm his. "Look at me and tell me I'm lying. Draco, please, I'm asking you to look at me." And finally, finally, he does.

Here's a truth; my mate's eyes are grey. I never knew how much could be encompassed in one tiny, insignificant word. Because grey is not just grey, it is a swirling, moving colour, like storm clouds shifting. It is swimming with confusion, with fear, with dread, but with the possibility of joy, of love. It is not even just grey, it is white and black and blue. Grey is the colour of my mate's eyes. Grey will never just be grey ever again. I thought I knew Draco was my mate. But now, at this moment, I have never been more certain of anything. It is that certainty that takes my breath away.

"Mate. Draco, you're my mate, my sub." My voice is so quiet, I can barely hear it, but I have no breath to speak with, and I'm not sure I will ever have any again. I have never been so happy. But then... Then, that beautiful, gorgeous grey starts to darken. I thought he was scared before. Now he's terrified. "Draco..." He's shaking, not just his hands, like before, but all over, quaking. He scrambles to his feet, eyes darting around the room. Looking for a way out. Backing away from me. I try to follow him, to try and calm him down, because he's so scared and he can't reject me, I won't let him. "Draco, wait. Please stop." But he doesn't listen - why isn't he listening to me? - and keeps backing away, further and further, until he reaches the window. I don't realise what he's about to do until it's too late - stupid, stupid - and so I can't stop him as he opens the window and leaps out of it. I'm left alone with silence. The only sounds are the thumping of my breaking heart and your deafening howls echoing in my mind.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> C/W: violence, torture, pain

**Sunday 13th September 1998**

**Draco**

_Draco, stop it, what the fuck are you doing, go back, go back!_

I can't Alex, I can't.

_You have to, please, he'll take it as rejection, he's our mate, please, please, I need him, please._

That is Harry Potter! We're enemies, he hates me!

It hurts you. Fuck, it hurts me, to know that my mate, my dominant, hates me. Everything in me wants me to turn around, make it right. But I can't be rejected, I can't. And the only way to avoid that is to fly away.

_Please..._

you say, but it's resigned. You know I'm right. Even so, you're broken. You've been breaking for a while, but now you've snapped. I can't feel you anymore. Maybe that's for the best. You deserve so much better than me.

I keep going, faster than I've ever flown before. I don't know where I'm going, I don't even know where I am with the tears that are obscuring my vision. I just want to get away. I realise that the muscles in my wings are aching, burning, when I falter in the sky. I almost fall, but force my wings to keep flapping. It hurts, but not as much as rejection will. I know I can't fly for much longer, so I start letting myself drift lower, trying to find a gap in the trees. When I do, all I can bring myself to do is collapse, wrapping my wings tight around me and finally let the tears overcome me. Now that I don't have air rushing past me or muscles protesting, all I'm left with is the pain of deserting my mate. And fuck, fuck, it hurts. More than anything, more than the cruciatus, more than my inheritance.

"Hello, little Veela." I snap my head up at the voice, and I'm greeted with the sight of a huge lion, the biggest I've ever seen. And then a realise, that's not a lion, we don't have lions in England, even in the forbidden forest, and even if we did, they wouldn't have a second head - a goat's head - and a dragon's tail. No, that's not a lion. That's a chimaera. I try to back away, before realising my back is against a tree. The chimaera laughs, as far as lions can. "Little Veela, so submissive, and all alone in the big bad forest. You shouldn't be here, little Veela, there might be things that want to rip your pretty little head off for lunch." I watch its claws dig into the soil, and imagine them tearing through the skin of my throat. I gulp.

A howl sounds from somewhere far away, and I remember the kind of things in this forest, things I had forgotten in my misery. Werewolves, centaurs, and, apparently, chimaeras. The one in front of me must see the fear in my eyes, or maybe in how my body tenses and shakes, as it chuckles lowly again.

"Don't you have a big scary dominant to protect you?" It's taunting me, it can scent that I don't. Probably trying to get under my skin. I try not to let it, but it works. I whimper, seeing flashes of my last mate dream where he - Potter - held me close and whispered comforts in my ear. "Oh? You don't have a mate? How sad. Well, I suppose that means there's nothing to save you when I take you back to my lair to gobble you up, pluck you like a chicken. I wonder if you taste like one too? I hope you don't mind, I like to play with my food." The chimaera grabs one of my wings in its teeth - which hurts like, well, like razor-sharp fangs stabbing my wings - and tugs me onto its back, all in one movement. My scream makes the chimera chuckle. "There's no point in screaming, little Veela. There's no one here to hear you." I think that's what breaks me. How alone I am. I don't even have you anymore, Alex. No one will ever know what will happen to me, and, maybe worse, no one will care. Blaise is probably the only one who will even realise I'm missing, and even then he'll be better off without me. He'll finally be able to worry about his own life and submissive rather than one that latched into him like a parasite because he was too fucking scared to find a dom of his own. And then: I'm going to die without a mate. And then I'm crying, and the chimaera is chuckling, and I'm alone alone alone.

The chimaera's den is hidden in the roots of a huge oak tree. When we get to the entrance, it throws me off its back. I land with a thump on the ground, pain ricocheting through my back, air thrown from my lungs. The chimaera starts slowly making its way towards me, and on reflex I start shuffling backwards until I hit one of the roots. I wince as I do, making the chimaera grin widely, showing off its teeth, the ones that will be impaled through the skin of my neck as it rips my head off. "Don't look so scared, Little Veela. I'm not going to eat you... yet." A whimper flies out of my mouth before I can stop it. "Oh hush, you pathetic thing. How a thing like you could ever endear yourself to a dominant is beyond me..." Ironic. After all, I can't 'endear myself to a dominant'. That thought sends a fresh sob forcing its way through my lips. The chimaera growls, then goes back to grinning. "Now, now. I thought I just told you to hush. Seems I'm going have to punish you." In a flash, faster than I thought possible, it has me pinned, its claws digging into my wings and shins. It ever-so-slowly runs a single claw across my chest, tearing a hole in my shirt and ripping the skin, drawing blood from the wound and a scream from my mouth. It hurts. It chuckles, delighted by my scream, and in one quick movement slashes a paw of claws across my face. I can feel the blood dripping down my cheek, and squeeze my eyes shut so none gets in. This means I don't see when it bares its teeth, so feeling sharp fangs pierce my shoulder comes as a shock, and I scream another sob.

"Stop, please, please!"

"Begging already? Oh, Little Veela, we're not even-" But it's cut off by a growl, louder than any I've ever heard before, one that sends waves of shivers throughout my whole aching body. Neither the chimaera nor I have time to react before the chimaera is thrown off me, landing with a thump and a crack on the forest floor a few metres away. I quickly scramble to sit up and back so far against the tree in surprised it doesn't swallow me. My body burns where the chimaera scratched and bit me, and I can barely stop myself from screaming at every movement. I slap a hand over my mouth, trying to muffle my sobs. Forget me, please forget me. Sounds of growls and whimpers and hisses reach my ears, and, to my surprise, it sounds like the chimaera's losing. What could possibly be stronger than a chimaera? How will I deal with something that wants to hurt me that is stronger than a chimaera? Because of course it wants to hurt me, eat me, feed me to its young. Why else would it save me from the chimaera, if not to claim me for itself? With the hand not muffling my sobs, I try to wipe the blood from my eyes, and slowly blink them open. Fighting the chimaera, and without doubt winning, is the biggest wolf I have ever seen. And then, all of a sudden you come rushing back into my head, and it's like I can breathe again.

Mate.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> C/W: violence, death

**Sunday 13th September 1998**

**Eli**

My mate is... gone? No, no, no, my mate, my 'Lexie wouldn't leave me. No, no, no. He'll come back, he has to come back, I'm his mate, his dominant. He has to come back to me. He can't reject me, he... he can't. I'm his mate. He can't reject me. But I can feel the pain of it ebbing through me. Not like a river because rivers are wet, damp. You fall into a river and it is quiet, calm. This is not any of those things. This is raging and loud and burning. This is fire. This hurts. Mate.

You are yelling out the window. Calling our mate back, but he's not coming back, and I can't figure out why. He's our mate, he's meant to be with us always. But he's flying away, away from his mate, but that makes no sense. It hurts. You turn and punch a wall, hard. The wall is stone, and your skin immediately splits, blood falling out between the ridges of your skin, tumbling to the floor. Pain echoes up your arm, and I feel it, and relish it. This pain isn't as bad.

_What do I do, Eli? How can I do this?_

Find him.

_How? How do I even begin... he doesn't want us, Eli. What happens when we find him and all he does is reject us outright?_

No. Find him. Find our mate.

_Where do I start?_

Flew towards forest. Go there. You nod, resolute, and I'm glad you're finally listening to me. You run from the room, almost slamming headfirst into your elf friend and his Veela mate. You growl, reflexively, making the elf whimper. Don't scare sub.

"Sorry," you say.

"What happened? Where's Draco?" the Veela says, and he sounds worried. Why is he concerned about my mate? My mate, not his, mine to worry about, mine to protect, mine, mine!

"Left, out the window." Immediately, their faces flood with sympathy. I hate it. Pitying me, us, like we're too pathetic to be able to keep our mate. Like there's something wrong with us, or worse, with Draco, 'Lexie. You obviously think so too, as you growl at them, loudly. The elf whimpers again, leaning against his mate and ducking his head. The Veela glares but says nothing. He knows we are stronger, we could beat him.

"Which direction did he go?" The Veela asks.

"Forest." Didn't you say the forest was dangerous? There are harmful beasts, could hurt mate?

_Fuck. Fuck. We need to find him, now, before he gets hurt._

Then go, quickly!

You rush past the pair, but the Veela grabs your wrist, stopping you. You growl again, even louder than before, louder than I've ever heard you growl, baring your canines, releasing your claws and standing tall over him. Immediately, he lets go, whimpering once and ducking his head in submission. Good. It's time he knows his place. You give him one last glare, sparing a glance at the elf, who I realise has sunk to his knees behind his mate. Part of me doesn't like that you scared a submissive so much, but the other part thinks it serves him right. He shouldn't have let his mate try to stop us getting to my 'Lexie. Even as I'm thinking this, you're rushing out of the house common room - houses, what a stupid system - and upstairs.

"Harry?" The voice and scent of your friend with the red hair. The rude, stupid one who called us mate on the train and said we would hurt a submissive - our mate, I realise now, and I hate him even more. Kill him, quickly, and we can go.

_No, no, it's Ron, I can't..._

"I was just looking for you, we have a potions essay to-" You cut him off with a growl. "Are you alright?" Oh, please, just kill him, it would be so much easier.

"Busy. Talk later."

"Hey, I know you're like a werewolf now or whatever, but that's not an excuse to keep avoiding us! I've barely seen you at all this week, and-" That's enough. We don't have time for this, we need to find my 'Lexie; I don't care about the troubles of an arsehole wizard who doesn't know when to shut up. I take control, snatching it away from you, and feel your body transform into mine, feeling the satisfying snap of bones breaking and reforming, and ripping of clothes tearing. When I am fully wolf, I crouch and snarl, baring canines even sharper than yours. I prowl towards him slowly. You can't kill him. Fine, but only because he's your friend. And it would take time we don't have.

"Uh... Harry, what are you..?" I growl, cutting him off. Has he not learnt anything? Surely he would know by now that I- fuck it, this doesn't matter. I snarl at him in warning, snapping my jaws, before turning and running out of the entrance hall towards the forest. I'm much faster than you, so really we didn't lose that much time. Still, too much. I howl as loud as possible, hoping that if he realises we're looking for him, realises we care, and will come back. Fuck, I want him to come back. More than I want to keep living. I bound further into the forest, running in the vague direction he flew, scanning the area between trees that seem to be flying first.

_Maybe I should take control; I can call his name, better get his attention._

You sound desperate. I can't blame you; so am I. I'm faster. I have better eyesight and sense of smell. I'll find him.

_I hope so._

I pick up the pace, howling again, but am cut off by a scream that makes my heart stop.

_Mate. Go, go!_

You don't need to tell me twice. I'm off, even faster than before, so fast my muscles are aching and my lungs are quivering. I push the pain aside, focusing on nothing but mate, mate, my mate screamed, my mate is in pain, I need to find my mate. I pick up his scent, coming to a halt. I look around, searching the trees for a glimpse of his sunlight hair or slate grey wings. Instead, I'm left with an empty clearing and a few shed feathers. I rush over to them, and notice with a sudden jolt to my stomach that they're matted with blood. No. No. And then another scream echoes through the trees and I'm running towards it before I can feel the strange mix of relief and dread - because my mate is alive, but alive and in pain.

"Begging already?" a voice says, and I emerge into a clearing to see a filthy chimaera pinning my mate to the floor, both of them covered in blood. A growl sounds, and I barely register that it came from me, before I'm pouncing on the chimaera, tearing it off my poor, gorgeous, wounded mate. And all I want to do is make it suffer. Make it know pain a thousand times worse than what it taught my mate. My claws and teeth are ripping through its skin, and every so often its own claws graze mine, but I barely notice the pain, instead focusing on making the scum beneath me pay for even thinking about what is mine. A deep scratch across its belly finally draws an agonised howl from the chimaera, and even though I could never make it suffer enough, I let myself kill it. I tear into it's neck, completely severing its lion head from its body, drenching myself and the ground in its blood. It smells like victory. Like justice. I finally stop to breathe, and realise you've been trying to get my attention.

_Fucking finally, go to Draco, Eli, he's hurt, go, quick, quick!_

I'm pushed back into reality, and scamper over to my mate. My mate, who I had left to bleed out. My mate, who is hurt, and I had ignored in favour of hurting someone else. My mate is almost out of it, eyes drooping. The sight of him hurt is worse than anything I've ever seen. There is a large, deep gash across his chest, and scratch marks across his face that I fear will scar, as well as what looks like a bite wound on his left shoulder and wings. But still, he's smiling lazily, raising a hand to my cheek, which I nuzzle against, whining softly. Then his eyes shut, and he sleeps. I curl up against him, pressing as much skin to his, knowing my touch - the touch of his mate - will help him heal more than any human medi-witch will. His limp hand remains on my muzzle, and I lick at it gently, hoping to wake him up. After what feels like too long, the bleeding starts to stop, and I exhale deeply in relief. He'll be okay. My mate will be okay. Everything will be okay.


	21. Chapter 21

**Sunday 13 September 1998**

**Draco**

I don't remember falling asleep, but I must have, because I wake up warm and comfortable, but with a painful throbbing on my chest, shoulders, and face. At first I don't remember what happened, then it comes rushing back to me. Harry, my mate, escaping, the chimaera, a wolf... No, not a wolf. Harry's wolf. My mate. My mate saved me.

_I told you, I told you, he doesn't hate us, he doesn't, Eli saved us, he saved us, he loves us, he does, he does!_

I... I...

"Draco?" Mate. I open my eyes, blinking at the light. It's bright at first, but I realise it's actually getting dark. It was just after breakfast when- when I fell asleep. We must have been out here all day. Because we are still out here - a quick look around shows we're still outside the chimaera's den. The chimaera who lies a few metres away, head a few inches away from its body. And Harry. Harry, not the scrawny teenage boy-who-lived, but Harry the werewolf, Harry the dominant, Harry my mate. He lies next to me, so close I can feel his body heat. So close that it's not until I lower my eyes to avoid his own staring into mine that I realise he is naked. I blush madly, squeezing my eyes shut again, but the shape of him is imprinted on the backs of my eyelids - his smooth tan skin and muscles and hips and legs and - no, stop it, Draco. He chuckles lightly, not meanly, and the sound is so sweet I want to hear it over and over and over until I die. He brings a hand to my cheek, rubbing a thumb across my blush, and I can't help but lean into it. He stops chuckling abruptly. "My mate, my Draco," he says solemnly. And I realise, even if you were somehow miraculously right, even if he doesn't hate me, I still ran from him. I still disrespected him, my dominant, my mate.

 _No, no, apologise, quick, quick_ \- but he cuts you off.

"I'm so sorry, my darling." Sorry? I open my eyes again, keeping them on his face. He looks sincere, and, in fact, sorry. Sad. No, he can't be sad, mate can't be sad, make him happy again. I raise a hand to his face, smoothing out the crease between his brows and running a thumb over his lips to pull them into a smile. I immediately worry I've gone too far - I did it without thinking, I just wanted him to be happy again - but his face splits into a real smile, a smile that makes every single thing in the world okay. Because surely in a world with that smile no bad things can ever exist. "I'm so glad you're okay. I don't know what I would have done if..." and he gets sad again, and all the bad things come back. "I'm sorry."

"Why?" And I realise I spoke without him letting me, and my stomach drops in fear, because I've already been a bad sub, and he'll hate me, and-

"It's okay, it's okay, Draco." He pulls my hands away from my face which I didn't even realise I had put there. "You're allowed to speak. You don't need to ask." But... but I want to, I need to, how do I know what to do if he doesn't help me? I need him, I need him to- "Hey, hey, what's going on in there, darling? What are you thinking about so hard?"

"I- I need to ask. Please."

"Okay, that's more than okay, my love. Whatever you need. You have my permission to speak throughout this whole conversation, is that okay?" I nod, finally sucking in breath. "Good boy, you're so good for me." I chirp happily at his praise, nuzzling further into the hand that's still on my cheek.

_We're good, we're good, mate thinks we're good!_

"Now, What was your question?"

"Oh, um, why are you sorry?"

"Because you were hurt, Draco, and I wasn't there to save you."

"But... but you were."

"Not soon enough." He moves the hand that was resting absently on my hip to my chest, running his fingers gently across the healing wound.

"My fault. I shouldn't have flown away."

"Why did you?" He sounds sad, so sad, and I hate that I made him, my mate, my dominant, sound like that.

"Scared. Thought you would reject me." And then- he still could.

_No, he wouldn't, stop, he saved us, he's holding us, he... he came after us._

"Oh, Draco. I would never. Never. We are meant to be together. I was made for you, to be yours. I'm yours, Draco." No, that's not right. I'm his.

"But- but... you hated me." A slight pause. Long enough that the tendrils I'd dread begin to wind their way back around my heart, but are banished as soon as he speaks.

"Emphasis on the past tense. I only did because I was young and stupid and I didn't understand the pressure placed on you. But I understand now. I only wish I had then, and maybe I could have helped..."

"No, no, not your fault, stop it." I hate the thought of my mate blaming himself for something he shouldn't. I hate it. He smiles at me.

"This is why you seemed distant in the dreams, because you thought I would reject you?" I nod, somewhat shyly. "But you didn't know who I was. How could you have known?"

"You're not the only one who hates me. Or, I thought you did."

"Who? I'll kill them, Draco, I'm serious, just tell me who and I'll find them and make sure they never make you-" he looks so angry. I don't want him angry, I want him happy. I press my forehead against his, effectively distracting him, without considering the consequences. My eyes are so close to his now. I can see every speckle of colour in them. They're green, sure, but a thousand different greens, darker on the outside, almost black, through every shade to the lightest green around the pupils, which have blown wide. His eyes sparkle with emotion, with strength. The way he looks at me makes me want to melt into this moment and become so intrinsically part of it that I stay here forever and time never passes. The hand on my cheek starts tracing my face, the shape of my cheeks and jaw and brow and lips. Without my consent, my tongue darts out to taste his skin. He groans lowly, and the sound makes me keen, going limp against him, my head falling against his shoulder. "Does it hurt?" I frown, then realise he can't see my face, so I speak instead.

"What?" What could possibly hurt when I'm with him, when everything is light and wonderful? I feel his hand go back to my cheek, running a finger in three lines across it.

"Here. The chimaera scratched you."

"Oh. I can't feel it."

"What about here?" he traces the wound on my chest, making me slightly breathless as I feel his hands brushing against my bare skin. I shake my head because any pain I might have felt is replaced with his skin, my mate's skin, on mine. "Or, here?" His hand goes to my shoulder, drawing patterns over the teeth marks. I mumble a no. "Or... here?" His hand runs from my shoulder through my feathers, and oh Merlin, that feels like all good things ever. A moan escapes my lips, and I feel his body go rigid against me. The hand still on my cheek moves to my chin, lifting my face to his. His eyes are filled with something I can't quite decipher. "Oh, mate mine. The things you do to me..." And then his mouth is on mine, and you are screaming in my head, and his lips are soft and slightly chapped and warm and his hand threaded in my feathers moves to grip my hips and everything, everything, is better than it's ever been, and if this moment ever ends I'll just die. Because my mate is kissing me. My mate loves me. And Merlin, I love him.


	22. Chapter 22

**Sunday 13 September 1998**

**Harry**

I physically feel you relax when Draco stops bleeding, and you practically melt into the back of our brain, letting me take control as your body shifts into mine, the smoothest shift we've ever gone through. I'm naked, with nothing to change into, but I genuinely couldn't care less. Now that my mate isn't in mortal peril, I can appreciate how truly beautiful he is. Everything about him is soft and delicate and pale. His skin is smooth like silk and pale like porcelain. His eyelids are long and blonde and fan out across his sharp cheekbones, one of which is red with blood and will probably be scared forever. I frown, if only because I can only imagine the upset it will cause him, before gently wiping the blood away. In his sleep, his face turns towards my palm, and I feel a rush of affection so strong it would probably take me off my feet if I wasn't already lying down. He murmurs something to quiet for me to catch, and his lips curve gently up into a smile. That's another thing about him- his smile. It's something I've rarely seen. I've seen him smirk, sure, plenty of times, but smiling is rare, and laughing even more so. But that means I get to be the only person to make him happy, to see his smile, hear his laugh. And that is the greatest privilege I could ever ask for. Aside from that, his smile is truly beautiful. His lips are thicker than they were before his inheritance (shut up, Eli, I did not spend my time staring at his mouth, thank you), and are light pink and smooth and I can't help but wonder if they feel as soft as they look.

_There's only one way to find out._

I thought I just told you to shut up.

I trail my eyes to his chest - shut up, Eli - _I didn't say anything_ \- You were about to, though. _Touché_. Anyway, I realise his shirt is almost stiff with dried blood, so I remove it, trying not to wake him, then wrap his cloak back around his shoulders so he doesn't get cold. His body is truly breath-taking. His skin is even paler where it is usually covered by clothes, and softer too. His collar bones and hip bones jut out, and I find myself tracing them with the tips of my fingers, making him whine quietly in his sleep, and I know if I keep going and he keeps making that noise I'll do something I'll regret.

_But he's so-_

No, Eli.

I proceed to clean up the wounds on his chest and shoulder as best I can, before moving to his wings. I don't quite know how to address them. I can tell just by running my finger through the feathers that a lot are loose, and are making the wings a lot heavier than they need to be. A lot are also matted with blood, and I think the only thing for that would be to take a bath. But I can at least remove the old ones. I groom his wings with my fingers, and sure enough more feathers than I expected come loose and fall away. I realise the ones that do are a much darker colour and look a lot messier and duller. It takes a while to do the whole of his wings, them being so big, but the motions are relaxing, and to be honest, I would give anything to simply be touching my mate. Once I'm done, what is probably hours later, his wings are more delicate-looking, softer, and shinier. They were beautiful before, but now they're so much more. I can barely take my eyes away. That's probably why I don't notice immediately when he wakes up. When I finally pull my eyes away, it's to his eyelids fluttering, breath more irregular.

"Draco?" I murmur, trying not to wake him if he isn't actually awake. But he is, and his eyes slowly blink open, examining his surroundings before finally landing on mine. I think I stop breathing for a second. His eyes are grey and blue and confused and glossy and breath-taking. I didn't quite realise how close I was to him when he was asleep, but now I do. I notice every fibre of my being that barely brushes up against him. I want to pull him against me, be even closer, make him okay. My mate. He breaks eye contact before I can get my breath back, and must realise how little I'm wearing because he immediately squeezes his eyes shut and blushes furiously and he looks so... innocent, adorable, that I might combust. A chuckle leaves my mouth because I can't believe I just called Draco Malfoy adorable. But he is, he so is. My submissive. His blush deepens, and immediately I want to touch it, to feel his smooth skin warm under mine, so I do, bringing a hand up to cup his cheek as delicately as possible. As he did when he was asleep, he leans into me, and my incredulous laugh dies off because he's awake. He's awake and conscious and is trying to get near. My mate wants to be near me. It's so different from how he acted before, in the mate dreams and in his dorm, and I wonder what changed, before I realise of course he's changed, he almost died, and he needs comfort whether he knows it or not. And then- my mate almost died. My mate almost died, and I only just got here in time, he was hurt because he was running away from me, and what kind of dominant am I if I let my mate get hurt that badly?

"My mate, my Draco. I'm so sorry, my darling." His eyes flicker open again and he looks at me with confusion, cocking his head so much like a bird I have to stop myself from cooing. But then his hand slowly moves to my face, stroking my forehead before running over my lips and oh Merlin, I love him I love him I love him. My face splits into a smile, wider than I think I've ever smiled before, and the best thing is that he smiles too. "I'm so glad you're okay," I say. Because he nearly wasn't. "I don't know what I would have done if-" I stop because if I don't I'll... I can't think about that. I can't think about my mate being hurt beyond rescue. I can't think about it being because I wasn't there to save him. "I'm sorry."

"Why?" And his voice is beautiful and musical and angelic, if scratchy from misuse and just waking up. But then his eyes get wide and scared, and his hand is pulled back from my face to cover his own, and he's shaking and whimpering and I realise he thinks he did something wrong. He thinks he spoke out of turn.

"It's okay, it's okay, Draco." I gently take his hands from his face and want to die at the fear I see there. "You're allowed to speak. You don't need to ask." But at that he somehow grows even more scared and starts shaking his head vigorously, eyes pleading with me. "Hey, hey, what's going on in there, darling? What are you thinking about so hard?"

"I- I need to ask. Please." And him begging is something else. He's so unbelievably submissive, and of course, he would feel more comfortable asking my permission to do things, he relies on me, I'm his dominant.

"Okay," I say, cutting off his probably chaotic inner monologue. "That's more than okay, my love. Whatever you need." But he's still tense, and then I realise- "You have my permission to speak throughout this whole conversation, is that okay?" At that, he finally relaxes, nodding, and breathes out deeply. "Good boy, you're so good for me." He chirps, the sound filling me with inexplicable joy, and nuzzles against my hand cupping his cheek. A rush of your emotion suddenly reaches me, so strong that combined with mine it nearly overwhelms me, and I have to talk to distract myself before... I don't know. Before something. "Now, what was your question?"

"Oh, um," he stutters, and I think I swoon a little. "Why are you sorry?"

"Because you were hurt, Draco, and I wasn't there to save you."

"But... but you were." At first, I'm confused, and then I realise he means I came eventually. But eventually is not soon enough. I voice my thoughts, and to illustrate them, carefully trace the wound on his chest with my index finger, reminding him gently of what I was not there to prevent. But he slowly shakes his head, still looking confused. "My fault. I shouldn't have flown away." No, no, not his fault, never. And it's not, you're right, of course, it's not, but the reminder that he did do that, that he risked his life to get away from me, brings back the pain of it.

"Why did you?" I almost don't want to know. But I have to.

"Scared. Thought you would reject me."

_No!_

So he did think that. Oh, Draco, my mate. I will kill whoever caused him to feel so unworthy to think his mate would reject him.

"Oh, Draco. I would never. Never." I want so badly to get this through to him. "We are meant to be together. I was made for you, to be yours." He smiles, shyly and small, but I would do anything to see that smile forever. "I'm yours, Draco." But then he frowns.

"But- but... you hated me." I want to tell him that of course, I didn't, he's my mate and I would never, could never, hate him. But I also could never lie to him.

"Emphasis on the past tense. I only did because I was young and stupid and I didn't understand the pressure placed on you. But I understand now. I only wish I had then, and maybe I could have helped..." I want to keep going, but he cuts me off.

"No, no, not your fault, stop it." I feel a flood of warmth and affection for him, not just from me but from you as well, and my mouth stretches into a grin. And then I realise-

"This is why you seemed distant in the dreams; because you thought I would reject you?" He nods, slowly, blinking up at me through his thick lashes and he is the most beautiful and adorable thing in the world. "But you didn't know who I was," I continue. "How could you have known?"

"You're not the only one who hates me. Or, I thought you did." Anger.

_Kill them. Who has hurt mate? Give them pain._

"Who? I'll kill them, Draco, I'm serious, just tell me who and I'll find them and make sure they never make you-" His forehead is on mine, and my breath is stolen away. Because his eyes are so big. His skin is smooth and soft where it touches mine, and I almost want to fuse into him so we become the same person and never have to be apart. So I never have to stop touching him. His face is so close to mine that I can see every aspect of his face; the exact slope of his nose and speckles of grey in his eyes and shade of rose that his lips are. My fingers start tracing the shape of his face, wanting to have it not just under my eyes but under my skin, his beauty not just etched behind my eyelids but into the pads of my fingers. I stroke across his cheekbones - so sharp that if I did so any harder they would probably cut me - and along his jawline - that I long to trace with not just fingers but lips - and I keep going until I've mapped out his entire face with my hands until my fingers come to rest on his lips. Until something damp and warm strokes my fingers - his tongue, oh Merlin - and I only have the breath to moan because I want to touch that tongue with my own, to feel it dance against mine, to feel it pull my fingers into his mouth and suck, a mere prelude to something more. He releases a high pitched whine before practically collapsing onto my shoulder, his wounded cheek hitting my shoulder bone fairly hard, and through all the bliss is a moment of clarity, because I cannot let my mate be hurt. "Does it hurt?"

"What?" I tenderly stroke his cheek.

"Here. The chimaera scratched you."

"Oh. I can't feel it." I'm glad. I never want him to feel pain.

"What about here?" I say, tracing the one on his chest again. He shakes his head against my neck. "Or, here?" I lightly trace the pattern of his name - the only thought occupying my brain - against the wound on his shoulder, and I feel the breathy 'no' against the skin of my neck. "Or... here?" I thread my fingers through his feathers again, like I did before he woke, and he releases the most gorgeous moan I have ever heard, making my whole body stiffen. I lift his face so it's peering up into mine, and say, quite without thinking, "Oh, mate mine. The things you do to me..." And I bring my face down to his, pressing my mouth ever so gently against his, giving him time to pull away, but praying he won't. But he doesn't, and then I'm kissing him, Draco, my mate, my sub, and you are screaming, and I am so, so, inexplicably happy. Because this; my mate in my arms, my skin against his, my tongue gliding gently over his lips; this is what happiness is.


	23. Chapter 23

**Sunday 13 September 1998**

**Draco**

When he - my mate, Merlin, my mate - pulls away, it's like I'm breathing for the first time. Like I've lived a forever underwater amongst the fucking Grindylows, and now I'm here and my lungs work and I don't have to choke anymore. His arms wrap tightly around my waist and forehead rests against mine, still so close that I can feel his breath on my mouth.

"You okay?"

_Yes, yes, more than, so happy, love him, our mate, Draco!_

"I-I think so?" He starts caressing my hip with his thumb, and something inside me snaps. Or, rather, something inside you. Because all of a sudden I'm pushed straight to the back of our mind and watching as you fall into my skin. You're grinning, almost maniacally, before practically collapsing against him, my mate - our mate - right, our mate, burying your face into his strong chest, wrapping your legs around his waist and arms around his neck.

"Oh, hi, sweetheart." You chirp loudly.

_He knows it's me, he called me sweetheart, he likes me, mate, dominant!_

Harry chuckles. "And are you okay?" You nod wildly against his chest, your thoughts a blur of glee. "It's kind of hard on the ground, huh? You want to go back to the castle?" No... there'll be people there. And I'm covered in blood, and they'll stare, and... and if I go in with Harry they'll hate me, a death eater and the chosen one, no, no... and Blaise won't know why I ran, he'll be angry even if Harry wasn't, and- "Hey, you okay?" I realise that you're shaking, and that in my spiral of thoughts I've blocked yours out. And they're almost worse.

_\- take us away, I need my mate, they'll take me away from him, no, no, no-_

I watch out of your unseeing eyes as Harry frowns softly, raising a hand to stroke your face gently, lovingly.

"'Lexie, sweetheart, what's up?"

He's talking to you, 'Lex.

_To me, mate is talking to me?_

You cock your head at him to repeat the question, and he chuckles. Just that sound makes me forget why I was upset in the first place. Was I even? How could anything possibly be bad when my dominant is making that noise?

"Are you okay, you're practically shaking?" You whimper. Why? He chuckled; what's there to whimper about?

_He gave you permission to talk, not me._

Oh. Of course, I'm such an idiot, Merlin, if that had been me I would have made that mistake, he would have hated me forever, what an idiot!

"Talk to me, love, let me in. What's going on?" _Love!_

"People in the castle. Don't want people, just you." He beams, and so do you, and so would I if I had control because I can't get over how gorgeous my mate is when he smiles. I want to keep him smiling forever. Our mate is happy. It is good.

"We can be alone in the castle, 'Lexie,"

_'Lexie, 'Lexie, 'Lexie, like Eli called me, he called me 'Lexie, Draco, did you hear?_

I heard.

"If you want we can go up to my dorm and I'll keep you there forever, just us, my precious treasure." _Treasure?_ "Let's go up to the castle. We don't have to see anyone if you don't want to. I just want to clean up and relax somewhere comfy, okay?" You nod, still in awe he called you treasure. "There you go, good boy." You immediately start chirping happily, nuzzling into him as he stands up with you in his arms. "You want to ride on Eli's back? It's a long walk."

 _Eli, my mate, my dom, my Eli, yes, yes, yes_.

You nod rapidly, and Harry gently puts you down and shifts. It looks painful, but he - they? - doesn't even flinch, and all of a sudden my mate (my mate! I still can't believe it) is replaced with his wolf, even bigger now he's so close. Eli would be intimidating if it wasn't for the huge pink tongue flopping out of a wolfish grin. On your knees, you duck your head submissively, blinking up at him - up, at a wolf! - through your lashes, before he's practically barrelling into you, nuzzling his massive head into your neck. You wrap your arms around him, squeezing tightly, threading your fingers through his fur. He purrs, and you shiver at the sound. Eventually, he huffs, removing himself from your embrace - _no, Eli, no_ \- and tosses his head backwards, gesturing for you to get on. You scramble to your feet, and climb onto his back, wrapping your arms around his neck and breathing in his scent.

_Smells like home._

He starts running, moving faster than I knew was possible, and I can feel the wind barely brushing your skin before it's behind us. It's almost scary actually; we're moving so fast that if we fell off Eli wouldn't be able to help; his fur is so thick he might not even realise before he's ages away, not hearing your cries for the wind whistling in his ears...

_Draco, calm down. It's our mate. He'll protect us. Trust him._

Okay. After much longer than I expected, especially travelling at this speed, we reach the edge of the forest. I must have flown for longer than I expected.

_Do you want control now?_

Suddenly, irrationally, I'm kind of nervous. Before I was riding on instinct and adrenaline, doing what you said and what I wanted to. I didn't feel real, like my actions wouldn't have consequences. Harry wasn't Harry, he was just my mate. But now, in front of the castle, everything feels different. My mate is Harry Potter. I don't really know how mates are supposed to act, especially ones that hated each other for years previously. What if he was acting on instinct too, if he actually hates me and was only being nice because he saw me as only a sub, not as me? But, more than the fear, I desperately want to be around him, them, both Harry and Eli.

Yes please, Alex. I feel you recede into the back of our mind, and I fall off Eli's back in a heap when I get control back, forgetting I would have to grip. Eli barks and I might be delusional, but it kind of sounds like my name. Then his front paws are either side of my shoulders and his back paws by my waist, and his massive form is on top of me, his muzzle rubbing against my cheek, neck, and shoulder. I hear a snap, then more, and realise that he's shifting. On top of me. And all of a sudden my mate, my naked mate, is pressing my form into the ground, face buried into my scent gland as he inhales deeply. Suddenly, my fear is nothing. Everything is nothing, except for him. He is my new everything.

"How do you smell so good?" I blush furiously, of course. "Ugh, come on, we should probably go. It's already dark, I didn't even realise with how thick the trees were." Now that he mentions it, I realise it too. It was just after breakfast when... when Harry came up to the dorm, and now it's night? How long was I asleep for? I nod, and he gets off me impossibly gracefully, then offers a hand. Now that he's standing, his nakedness is even more obvious, and I have to keep averting my gaze. I take his hand, and he pulls me too his chest, making me melt into his embrace. "Do you want to come up to Gryffindor?" I shake my head. They'll all stare at me, laugh at me, hate more for being with their saviour, no, no, I can't. "To Slytherin, then." It's not a question, evident as he lifts me into his arms, wrapping my legs around his waist.

"I-" I quickly shut up, because he only said I could talk before.

"You may speak, Draco." And even though I realise how strange it is, having his permission to do so makes me feel euphoric.

"You don't mind coming to Slytherin?"

"Of course not. You're my mate, I'll be more than happy anywhere as long as you're beside me." A sound I didn't even know I made flies out of my mouth, somewhere between a squeal and a chirp. I hide in his shoulder and find myself overwhelmed with his scent. The scent of my mate, designed specifically to attract me. And it works more than I would have thought was possible. He starts walking towards the castle, keeping a loose arm around my waist, and I realise he's not planning on dressing before we go inside, and I realise abruptly that I'd rather die than let anyone but me - _and me, I can, right?_ \- see my mate naked. Then I realise what I'm wearing. My cloak and trousers, but no shirt, which must have been destroyed by the chimaera. I look down at my chest for the first time and realise the blood that should be there is gone. Harry cleaned me when I was asleep. A rush of affection - no, stronger - swells up in me. And then... I'm standing now. I'm standing, so I'm supporting my wings instead of the ground. But the thing is they're too light. They were heavy before today, I almost struggled to lift them. In comparison to Blaise's, which got groomed by Neville as often as they could find time, mine were matted and dull. But now... I twist round and gasp. Because now they're beautiful. They should be matted with blood, and they're not, but it's not just that. They're groomed. Harry must hear my gasp, as he stops and looks around. He sees me staring at them, and must put two and two together, as he starts to look sheepish. Sheepish - imagine!

"Oh, I hope you don't mind. When you were asleep I was trying to clean the blood off, and feathers kept falling out, so I just decided to remove the dead ones. It seemed to be helping, so I kept going. Is that okay?" I'm choking. Merlin. I can't say anything, and I think I'm crying, and I can't tell if I'm breathing. Because I thought my mate would hate me. I thought my wings would be disgusting forever, because who in their right mind would care enough about Draco Malfoy to groom him? Harry does. Harry did.

"I never..." I'm sobbing. "Never thought this would - thank you, thank you, I... I can't believe you did..." It's an incoherent mess, but he seems to understand. He tugs me against him, holding me as tightly as possible, pressing kisses against my cheeks.

"Is it a big deal?" He doesn't know. Of course he doesn't, oh Merlin I must look like such a mess, he must think I'm absolutely insane-

_Draco. He groomed you without knowing it was grooming._

I know! That's my-

_No, without knowing. He did it just because he wanted to. Not even knowing you would know. Not knowing you would care. He spent all that time - it must have been hours - taking care of you. Put in that much effort to help you. Not for the sake of it, not to get you off his back. Just because he wanted you to be comfortable._

I didn't realise how many times it was possible to fall in love with someone.

"Yes. Yes, it's a big deal."

"I'm sorry, mate mine, I didn't realise, I'm sorry if I-" I cut him off with a kiss. Even though that terrifies me, I do, because I can't stand to hear him apologise for something this good.

"A Veela can only be groomed by their mate."

"Oh."

"And when they are, it means... everything. It means devotion. Taking that much time and effort and... well you know. I never thought anyone would care about me enough to do that. It matters, Harry."

"That's the first time you've said my name."

"Oh."

"How often do I get to do it?" Get to. Get to, not have to, not like it's a chore, like it's something to look forward to.

"You only have to do it every few months or so-"

"No, not the bare minimum. The maximum. I want to do it as much as we can, please?" I don't respond. I can't respond. I think I'm crying again. Harry's mouth is on mine and I don't know how it got there. I love him. I love him I love him I love him.

Eventually, we keep moving towards the castle, still so close it's hard to tell where I stop and he begins.

_Wait, wait, he's still not wearing clothes! What if someone sees? You said only us could see!_

You're right, I realise, and immediately I struggle to tug off my cloak in the constrictions of his arms. He looks at me curiously as I do, but doesn't protest. Eventually I rid myself of it, and place it around his shoulders. It leaves me kind of bare, but you can't really see with him holding me like this, so I don't mind. He beams as the realisation of why I did that dawns on him, all teeth, all joy, all affection, and for the thousandth time today I feel my heart flutter.

"Fuck, Dray, how much more perfect can you get?" My blush returns full force. Perfect. My mate thinks I'm perfect. Happiness rushes over me, submerging me entirely until it's all I feel and all I'll ever feel. We walk through the castle, which is, to my relief, astonishingly empty. There are a few people here and there to stop and gape, but Harry quickly growls at them so low I can feel it vibrate in his chest, and they soon stop.

As we enter the common room, Blaise and Neville jump up, and my friends' heads snap round to look at us.

"Oh, thank Merlin, we didn't know what had happened, we thought-" Neville says, cutting himself off with a hand thrown over his mouth. Blaise wraps an arm around him.

"We assumed you had found him after we couldn't find either of you, but fuck guys, you could've put us out of our misery," Blaise continues for him. A rush of guilt floods through me. They were worried, and it was my fault. Misery, Blaise said, I hurt them and it was my fault. They'll hate me now, and I'll deserve it. Harry will hate me because I was careless and selfish and a bad, bad sub. Bad.

"Hey, sh, sh, you're alright, Draco. Hey, look at me." I take my head out of his shoulder and realise I'm crying - again, Merlin, I'm pathetic - and I can't make out his face through the tears. "Oh, love." He gently wipes away my tears from my cheeks, so softly it melt my heart. "Why are you crying, darling?" I can't speak in front of everyone, I can't, I've already been bad, what if I say something wrong, something that makes someone angry, or embarrass Harry; I'm already sobbing in front of everyone, and, and, Merlin, I can't- "Hey, stop." My thoughts grind to a haunt. "That's it, breathe. There you go, you're so good for me, thank you." But I'm not good, I'm not. "Let's go up to your dorm, yeah?" I nod.

"But-"

"Later, Zabini." Harry carries me up the stairs. Merlin, I must look so pathetic, but I can't help but melt into his embrace. He shuts the door behind us, and finally, blissfully, we are alone. I breathe.


	24. Chapter 24

**Sunday 13 September 1997**

**Harry**

I take my mate, who is still crying softly into my shoulder, upstairs to his dorm, remembering which one it is from this morning. I didn't get a good look at it earlier, distracted by Draco, but now my eyes are immediately drawn to his bed. I know it's his because it's not a bed, not really. It's a nest. And for some inexplicable reason, just the sight of it leaves me breathless. I don't know why; it's clearly imperfect- rushed and unfinished. It's the vague shape of a nest and filled only with school supplied bedsheets, pillows, and a duvet. But it's my mate's nest, and it's all I can do not to crawl into it and stay their forever.

_Do it Harry, please, nest-_

But a chocked sob flying out of Draco's mouth makes me turn away, focusing again on the love of my life.

"What's wrong, sweetheart? Talk to me."

"Please, don't look at it, I forgot, I'm sorry, I'll make it better, I just need time-" For a moment I'm confused, then I realise he's referring to the nest. It must be like... I don't know. I guess I'll never know. Because a nest is who a submissive is, it shows who they are, what they like, who they love. A nest reveals more about a sub than almost anything, and having someone as important as a mate see one that is unfinished must be mortifying.

"It's fine, I know it's unfinished, love, I'm not paying attention to it, I promise. It's alright."

_But, nest?_

Just wait a while longer, Eli. Let him finish. Then we can spend a forever in it.

"You're not looking?"

"No, I've already forgotten. I'll only look properly when you're finished, okay?" He breathes a sigh of relief. "There you go, you're so good for me, Draco." He keens, subconsciously rubbing his cheek across my scent gland. Pre-marking me. I practically melt. But then I remember- "This wasn't what was wrong in the common room. What happened then?" He stops abruptly, lifting his head so I can see his widened eyes as he remembers.

"I worried Blaise and the others, made them feel bad. It was stupid and selfish and I'm really really sorry." I frown. It wasn't selfish, it was fear and sadness. Those are different things.

"When you flew away, did you intend to stay out all day?"

"N-no, I was going to come back."

"And did you know it would worry them?"

"No..."

"And did you want to go?"

"No, I thought you wanted me to. I- I wanted to stay with you."

"Then that's the opposite of selfish, my love. You were doing what you thought I wanted, and you didn't mean to hurt anyone. That's selfless, Draco."

"Oh."

"And even if it was, you've apologised. You realised your mistake, and you won't do it again, right?"

"No, of course not!"

"Then you've done absolutely nothing wrong."

"Really? You're not mad?"

"Not in the slightest. Now, I think we need to clean up. Lead the way?" Draco nods, and I put him down, but keep my hand in his. I can't bare to stop touching him. Even the thought of it is agonising. He shows me to the dorm's en-suite, and I shut and lock the door behind us so there's no interruptions. The bathroom is much bigger than our one up in Gryffindor, but my eyes are instantly drawn to the bath, which looks like a slightly smaller version of the one in the prefects' bathroom. I silently lead my mate to the edge of the bath and turn the water on, then turn back to Draco. It hits me again just how stunning he is; platinum hair slightly messy from lying outside, porcelain skin dirty and flushed, head ducked and eyes fixed on the floor. His clothes - not that he's wearing much, only slacks - are especially worse for wear, ripped and stained with mud and blood. "You okay?" I murmur, not wanting to disrupt the comfortable quiet. He nods, eyes flicking up to meet mine. I slowly move my hands across pale, scarred skin, until they rest on his hips, keeping my eyes on his. He flushes red, not meeting my eyes, so I press my lips to the scar on his shoulder, inhaling his scent as I do. You whine in my head. "So pretty," I murmur against his skin. "Such a good boy for me." I feel him shiver against me as he falls into my embrace. I move my hands in between us to the buttons of his trousers. "Can I take these off?" He stiffens, only slightly, like he's trying not to, but enough that I notice. "There's a reason I ask, Draco. I care about what you want, so tell me. I won't if you don't want me to." He remains still and quiet, before I add, "Talk to me, mate mine."

"Just trousers, please?"

"Of course. Thank you, Draco, so good for me." He's so pretty when he blushes like that.

Quickly, so he doesn't focus on it too much, I take off his trousers, then shed his cloak from around my shoulders. I step into the now almost-full bath, reaching out a hand to him, we he takes blushing, and steps after me. I sit down, pulling him into my lap. He presses his face into my chest, and I can feel the heat of his blush. I start cleaning him, wiping away the dirt and blood clinging to his skin. I do so as slowly as possible, savouring the feeling of my mate in my lap and his skin under mine. I wash his hair and wings too, threading my fingers through soft tufts and feathers, massaging soap suds into his scalp and wing bones and savouring the quiet whines and - Merlin help me - moans he makes as I do. I regretfully finish eventually, spinning him around on my lap so he's facing me. I stroke his cheek gently where the scar is. I hope it won't remain, but know it likely will. He doesn't know that though, and leans into the touch, closing his eyes. I take the opportunity to let my eyes wonder his body. And fuck, if I thought he was beautiful before, it was nothing compared to how he looks dripping wet and almost naked above me, skin and hair so clean they're practically sparkling, face nuzzling into my palm. It takes a few seconds for Draco to realise I've finished, and when he does he blinks his eyes open, smiling shyly at me. I feel the affection like a physical ache in my chest.

"So gorgeous," I murmur. "What's on your mind, gorgeous? Talk to me."

"Your turn." Oh.

His hands are on my chest.

His hands are on my chest, then my shoulders.

His hands are on my chest, then my shoulders and back and arms and legs and dear Merlin I never want them to be anywhere else. Draco's hands, I realise, must have been personally crafted by any and all deities in existence. They are thin and delicate and so, so pale. His fingers are long and glide through air and water like they're dancing. The tips of his fingers are soft like feathers and smooth like stone and warm like a dwindling fireplace. I did not realise hands had the power to take my breath away until my mate's were running over my bare skin. Those hands take the flannel from my own, which look like beggar's hands compared to his, and start running that over my body instead, washing away the grime and blood. Then, like I did him, his hands - hands like an angel's, hands like heaven itself - start washing my hair. I have literally been boneless before. Or at least, one of my arms has been. I thought I knew what the word meant. But I realise, as I fall against my mate, I had no idea. If I'm being honest, I don't think I had much of an idea about anything.


	25. Chapter 25

**Sunday 13 September 1998**

**Draco**

Harry helps me out of the bath, grabbing my towel from the rack without even looking. I don't stop to wonder how he knew which was mine. He wraps it around me, then reaches for a random one for himself.

_No, no, no._

And even though that's all you say, I know exactly what you mean. No, he can't have someone else's towel. No, because it will smell like someone else. No, because he will smell like someone else. I do the first thing I think of - fall against him before he has the chance to wrap the towel around himself, forcing him to drop it and catch me. His arms around me feel like home.

"Are you alright?"

"Share?" His answer is an unrestrained grin, and I shift so the towel is around both of us. We dry off, then head back to the main room. My eyes snag on my 'nest', and the panic flies through me again, stealing my breath and bringing stinging tears to my eyes. But one look at Harry shows he's deliberately not noticing it, and just that calms me down slightly.

"You're so beautiful, how could I be looking at anything but you?" And then my heart is racing for an entirely different reason. "It's okay, Draco, I promise. I know, I understand it isn't you, I know." But it's not just that. I don't know entirely what it is myself, but I know that it's not just that. Because subs make their nests for their dominants. My nest is for Harry. It's for Harry and me and our chicks and no one and nothing else. And anything I give to Harry must be perfect, because Harry deserves perfect. I think he can tell that his words don't relax me as much as they were intended to, because he remains frowning slightly. "What do you want to do, my love? We can stay, I can ignore it? Or... or I could give you time to fix it?" I nod at that. I want to fix it, I want to put effort into our nest, for it to be perfect. I want to give my mate something perfect, something I made myself that he loves more than anything. "Okay, that's great. How... how long do you need?" Forever. Because nothing can be good enough for my mate. I cock my head, a silent question as to whether I can speak. He nods, smiling softly.

"A week? Maybe more."

"That long?" Is it too long? Is he angry? No, no, no- "Hey, that's fine. I just didn't realise how long it took. Take as long as you need. I'll just... I'll miss you." A whine crawls out of my throat. He'll miss me. My mate will miss me. I bury my face into his neck to inhale his scent. I can't get enough of it. I can't wait until I mark this spot; until this scent can merge with mine. I don't want him to go. I want him to stay with me forever and ever. But I need to fix my nest. And need comes before want. Eventually, he leaves. I give him one of my larger cloaks, the idea of anyone but me seeing my mate's bare skin makes me feel like I'm about to throw up all the blood in my body. The sight of him leaving is almost worse. Almost. But he leaves, and Blaise and Neville take his place a few moments later. They're grinning.

"You found your mate, Dray," Blaise says, voice warm, if voices can have temperatures.

"Yeah. I did." And it's not just Blaise's voice that is warm; it's everything.

I turn, assessing my nest and starting on a mental list - a painfully long mental list - of things I need to do before it is anywhere near acceptable.

"Draco, stop. I know what you're doing, and you can do it in the morning. Well, you can do it after class. Nevertheless, you can do it tomorrow. Now, you can sleep." I whine. There's no time! I have a week to make a nest as perfect as my mate, a task that can't even be accomplished in a lifetime. Sleep is not a priority.

"If you don't sleep, you'll have to face Harry looking like you haven't," Neville says, and it's obvious he's a sub too; he might as well have known the exact inner workings of my mind because that was probably the only thing he could have said to get me into that bed.

I know it can't be, but it feels like he's there as soon as I close my eyes. The mate dream is different now that we've met, and don't have to hide anything. It's more real. It's Harry. I visibly see him breathe a sigh of relief when he sees me, and I find myself in his arms before I can even figure out which way's up and which is down.

"Thank Merlin, I can't be without you, it was driving me crazy not knowing if you were okay, what you were doing. Eli was driving me insane, he would not stop yelling at me to turn around, I... Fuck, Draco, I..." He pauses, taking deep breaths, assumedly of my scent. I feel as he relaxes, arms loosening slightly around me, head falling against my shoulder, muscles relaxing against my body. As he holds me, I rest the side of my head against his chest, and slowly blink my eyes open - eyes I didn't even realise I had closed - and gape. Because every other dream we have had was simply focused on each other, standing in nothing but a white landscape. But now it's home. Not home at Malfoy Manor, not home in the Slytherin dorms, not any home I've ever known. In fact, I don't understand how I know this is home, but I do know that it is. We stand in a bedroom, or at least, a room with a bed in it. Or, rather, a nest. All the breath I have exits my lungs and I am left empty, because this is it. This nest is it. The perfect nest. I didn't have a vision in mind before now, I didn't know what I wanted my nest to be like, except for a vague impression of better, but now I know that this is it. This is a nest I would be proud to present to my mate, to nurse my chicks in. Harry must realise I'm distracted, or maybe he can tell the change in my mood from my scent, because he takes his head out of my shoulder with a confused look on his face, and follows my gaze to the nest.

"Oh," he gasps. "That's it, huh?" It makes me inexplicably happy that he knows that this is our nest. And it makes him happy too, based on the grin that splits his face open as he looks back at me. "You're going to make that for me?" I nod, because I am, I really am, and I won't stop until I do. The look in his eyes, the sweet tint to his scent, says love love love. I can tell that even though I haven't made it yet, it's future existence means the world to him. He takes both of my hands in his, and walking backwards, leads me to the nest. "May I?" And of course he may, he can do whatever he wants, because the nest is for him, for us. But I can't say that. I don't think I can say anything right now. I nod.

He climbs into the nest in a way that reminds me that he's a wolf, even without Eli. A contented rumble echoes through his chest and out into the room.

"Draco, it... it's perfect." He sounds so grateful, like I've already made it for him, and my heart fills. He smiles at me, and for the first time as he does my eyes are drawn to his own rather than his lips. Because his eyes are shining, practically luminous.

He holds a hand out to me, and I take it to clamber into the nest after him. He pulls me against him so my chest is pressed against his and our faces are so close our noses brush against each other and his breath ghosts my lips. He's right. The nest is perfect. It holds both of us perfectly and it smells like me and Harry and something that's a mix between us, as well as something else, something subtler, and I realise it's an echo of our friends' scents: Blaise and Neville and something that must be Weasley and Granger and Harry's other Gryffindors, and I don't even mind that there are scents I don't recognise because I know it is making my mate happy. Harry tugs on something behind him, and pulls the subsequently freed blanket over us, before wrapping his arm back around my waist, and bringing his other one up to cup my face, rubbing a thumb across my cheek.

"I'm so lucky," he whispers, and I feel a sudden rush of disbelief. I am mated to the most perfect person in the world, and he considers himself lucky to be with me. He doesn't even know what luck is. "You're so beautiful, my Draco." I have to close my eyes as happiness overwhelms me to stop myself from welling up. "Talk to me, my love. I want to hear your voice."

"You've said that," is the first thing that comes to mind, and therefore the first thing that flies out of my mouth to fulfil his command as quickly as possible.

"Said what?"

"That I'm beautiful." He chuckles.

"Well, there's a simple explanation for that, beautiful." In reply, I rub my cheek against the palm of his hand. "It's insane how much I missed you in half an hour. Merlin, I thought I might die."

"No. Don't even say that." Just the thought of him... him leaving me switches every part of my body off, as if it's shutting down in protest. All my muscles relax at once and I melt against the nest and my mate, all thoughts leave my head, and my heart starts beating slower. I don't know which one he notices, but he does, and cups my face in his hands, and speaks with a tremor in his voice.

"Hey, hey, look at me, I'm here. I'm not going anywhere. You're not getting rid of me anytime soon, Draco. Look at me, beautiful." I start breathing again, focusing just on that word. Beautiful, my mate thinks I'm beautiful. "There you go, so good for me. Fuck, you scared me then."

"S-sorry."

"No, don't apologise. It was my fault, I was careless. I'm sorry. Are you okay?"

"Yes."

"Promise?"

"I promise. But... you missed me that much?"

"Of course. I couldn't stand not knowing if you were okay, if you were safe. Couldn't stand not having you in my arms. Your cloak smelt like you, but not enough, never enough. Saw your face every time I blinked but it wasn't you, Draco. Merlin. Maybe it's because we just found out we're mates, in fact, I hope it was because if it wasn't I'm screwed every time we have to be apart. It was just so-" I kiss him. I can't not. His lips are moving so quickly and they're saying such nice things that I need to capture his words with my mouth so I can keep them forever. His sentence is cut off and he sighs into my mouth, relaxing before tightening his grip on my face and deepening the kiss. And this is different to before in the woods, because that was our first kiss and I was shocked and uncertain and we weren't in our nest, but now... now it is perfect. His tongue traces the outline of my lips as his hands trace patterns across my cheeks and neck to my shoulders, then trace the shape my body, my chest, my waist, until they're gripping my hips hard enough to bruise if we were awake and actually touching. My own arms wrap around his neck, pulling him impossibly closer to me, opening my mouth to meet his tongue with my own. He growls into the kiss, the sound making me weaker than I already am, making my thoughts more jumbled and messy than they already are, until the only one left is mate mate mate mate mate mate mate mate.


	26. Chapter 26

**Sunday 13th September 1998**

**Eli**

You're walking away. Why are you walking away? Our mate is behind you, Harry, you're walking the wrong-

_Yes, I know, I get it._

Then why the fuck aren't you turning around?

_You don't want a nest? You want to make our mate anxious and hate himself?_

No, of course I don't, but-

_Then shut up._

You're mad, and not at me, even if you pretend to be. You're mad we have to leave Draco and my 'Lexie, like I am. You bring the collar of Draco's cloak up to your face and inhale his scent until you're calm enough to keep going. I revel in the scent of my mate, but still. It's not enough. You keep walking until you reach the common room. The portrait lady asks for the password, and you snap at her until she lets you in, grumbling about how rude you were. You don't care.

"Harry!" It's your friend - the witch with the bushy hair. "Where have you been, we haven't seen you all day! Hey, are you alright?" You've started to push past her, but she grabs your wrist. You growl viciously, and I hear someone whimper across the room and start to scent their fear; the submissive dryad, Ro-something.

Hey, Harry, careful. Don't scare her.

_Right, sorry, sorry._

"Sorry, 'Mione, I'm fine. Great actually, just not right now." I feel joy begin to creep in past the anger. "I found my mate."

"Harry! That's great!"

"Woah, congrats, man," says the ginger one I don't like - _Ron, Eli, don't pretend you don't know_ \- yeah, whatever. Anyway, he doesn't sound as enthusiastic as 'Mione. But still, I choose to ignore it.

"Who is she, Harry?" The ginger girl - Ginny - chimes in. She actually sounds interested, rather than jealous or mocking like I might expect. She did have feelings for you, right? But still, the use of female pronouns annoys me. Is she suggesting our mate should be female? That it's wrong to have a male mate? That Draco isn't good enough? Because he's more than good enough, he's perfect, and she can shove her 'she' up her-

"Draco."

"Malfoy? What about him?" I'm glad I don't have control - I might have broken your eyes from rolling them too hard.

"He's my mate." You're smiling, almost madly, just at the thought of him. No one else is smiling.

"Haha, funny, Harry. Who is it actually?" Ron says sarcastically. I growl silently, and you echo the sound out loud. All sound leaves the room as people turn to stare. I don't care, and neither do you.

"I'm not joking. I would never joke about this. He's my mate, and I love him, and I don't give two fucks about what you think of me. But if you say anything negative about him, I swear to Godric I will kick your arse." He looks scared. They all do. Good.

"Harry, look at me," the dryad says from behind you, her voice meek. You turn, and sooth your features so as to not scare her. She's not who you're mad at, and you don't want to upset a submissive. "You found your mate? That's great, congratulations."

"Thank you." You hide a wince at how gravelly your voice is.

"How did you find him?" You start explaining, and both of our moods lift as you do, at simply the thought of our mate. She must have led you upstairs whilst I was distracted by thoughts of my 'Lexie, because next time I'm aware we're alone, and in your dormitory. You look around, realising where we are as well, and laugh. I'm not sure why; relief, maybe. Disbelief. "You okay?"

"I'm good. Thanks, Romilda."

"No worries. I knew you wouldn't have wanted to hurt them, however dumb they were being."

"Well, you were right. I appreciate it, seriously." You hug her, and even though she's not my mate, just the scent of a submissive calms me. I don't even consider the fact that her scent might rub off on you, and vice versa. She leaves after that, and you collapse backwards onto your bed. Bed, bed, bed. Not nest. My mood sours again, but yours doesn't seem to. Why? What could possibly make you stay happy when we're alone, without our mate, our sub, who is alone and-

_We're not mated yet._

Exactly that's the-

_Meaning we can still have mate dreams._

Oh. Oh! What the fuck are you doing still awake then? Go to sleep!

You grumble something about how you would if I would just shut up, but obediently tug your clothes off and shut your eyes.

My 'Lexie is already there by the time I fall into the dream. He's facing away from me, and I take the time to admire him. After the first mate dream I had, which was only a matter of days ago but feels like years, the dream made me forget what he looked like. But now, seeing him again, I can't imagine how anything could have rid him from my mind. He looks a lot like Draco - it's obvious they're the same person - but more delicate, more soft, more... Veela. He's beautiful, more so than anyone has the right to be, so much it quite literally takes my breath away and I have to remind myself to inhale.

He spins around, either scenting me or hearing my breath, and his eyes light up when he sees me, with more joy than anyone has the right to feel at the sight of me. Well, apart from him. He deserves to feel all the joy in the world. But I made him look like that. I made him that happy. My heart soars. I hold my hand out, scared that if I speak it will come out choked. He grins wider than I would have thought possible, before quite literally flying into my arms, his wings lifting him off the ground before he barrels into me.

"I missed you, mate mine," I murmur against the skin of his neck, where I will place my mark when we mate. I inhale the scent of him; of sugar and pine and citrus. "My mate, my 'Lexie."

"Eli." His voice is practically a whine as he falls limping against me, practically melting into me until I don't know where I stop and my mate begins. He starts chirping as I start grooming my fingers through the feathers at the base of his wings and rubbing them down the space of back between them. He's mumbling something, over and over, and I realise it's my name.

"Eli, Eli, Eli, Eli, Eli-"

"I'm here, darling, I'm here."

"Missed you. You left." I don't mean to, but I growl. 'Lexie whimpers and flinches, but his scent doesn't change; he's not scared. Good. I would die if he was scared of me.

"Didn't want to. Wouldn't have. Harry made me." He whines again, nuzzling deeper into my neck. I refrain from purring. Wolves don't purr, thank you very much. "Hey, it's okay, it's alright, love. This means you get to make me a nest, right?" I physically feel his mood lift astronomically.

"A nest?"

"That's right, love. I hate being away from you with everything I am, but I wouldn't do it if there wasn't a reason, you know that, don't you?"

"I- yes?"

"I would never ever do anything to cause you pain if it wouldn't make you happier or safer in the long run. Never."

"Never ever?"

"Never ever. I can't stand the thought of you suffering, 'Lexie, net alone because of me-" I pause here because a growl rumbles it's way up my throat.

"I know, I know." My breathing slows, and I suddenly realise it had been accelerated. I inhale a deep breath of 'Lexie's scent, calming me more.

"You're so good for me, 'Lexie, mate mine. So good, such a perfect sub, good boy." At the praise he quite literally collapses against me, half falling, half jumping into my arms. I almost fall over, and have to lower us to the ground.

"I'm good, I'm good?" He says between chirps. I realise this is probably the first time he's gotten praise like this from anyone. From what I gather from Draco, their home life wasn't great and they were under a lot of pressure. They were also so convinced we wouldn't accept them, and I can't imagine the inner turmoil that must've brought. They had Zabini, sure, but I never noticed him praising them exactly. And even if he did, he would be praising Draco, not Alex. Alex had never had this from anyone, and even if he somehow had, it wouldn't have been from his mate. From me. And with 'Lexie and Draco being more submissive than most, they would crave praise more than anyone.

"Of course, mate mine. So good, so perfect, such a good sub for me. So beautiful, smell so good. Can I groom you, my love?" His head snaps up, eyes wide in disbelief, lips slightly parted, hope etched into every inch of his face.

"Do- you- I- groom- do you- you..." I place a palm against his cheek to calm him from his manic stuttering. "Yes."

I didn't realise you didn't know what grooming was when you did it in the woods. I forgot that sort of stuff doesn't come naturally to you like it does to me, and of course Re wouldn't have taught you about Veela customs. But I know that to groom one's submissive Veela is a big step. And this is different than before because he wasn't awake then, and it was just to clean him. But for a Veela, being groomed is practically a rite of passage. A ritual between mates. It shows the dominant cares enough for the submissive to take the lengthy time, great care, and patience it requires to groom properly. Some consider it almost akin to mating. In any case, I know how much it means to my 'Lexie, and even though it won't make any real difference to Draco's waking body, it will make 'Lexie happy. And that's all I ever want to do. I start running hands through his wings, and he immediately starts keening.

"Feel good?"

"Mhmm. So good."

"I'm glad," I murmur into his ear. 'Lexie whines. I don't stop. I comb through feathers with my fingers, untangling and smoothing when they're messy, removing the dead ones, massaging the muscles underneath them. It takes a while, although dreams contort the time, but it never gets boring or monotonous. The whole time I'm marvelling at how lucky I am that I am able to do this with someone I love so much. And someone who, I think, I hope, loves me too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I've now caught up with myself posting wise, so from now on I hope to be updating this once a week. Hope you've enjoyed it so far! Make sure to leave a comment telling me what you think.


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